Small house no commute vs bigger house and commute

[MapMySleighRide]

We are looking to buy our first home and have, hopefully, a few options open to us. Either a new build but small mid terraced house right in the centre of our town (it is on an estate and noise isnt an issue), this would mean I would have a barely 5 min commute twice per day and dh about 20-30 min commute each way. The garden is small but our dc aren't hugely sporty or outdoorsy and while I like the idea of country idyll (vegetable patch, chickens etc) I'm not sure I'd ever actually get round to doing it! It is also A rated so lower elec bills and warm, the mortgage would be higher tho as it is expensive.

Or we could go further afield, add a good 20-30 mins to our commute each, so about 30 mins for me each way but 1 hour for dh each way. We could get a bigger house, as in a semi with hopefully a slightly bigger garden, but it would be an older house that would need doing up cosmetically, possibly cold and draughty as a lot of our rentals have been, but I could one day have chickens and get off my arse and grow stuff!

Our dc are 15 and 10 if it makes a difference

AIBU to ask for your advice please on what you would go for? Sorry I've posted here for traffic. I think the only thing putting me off the new build is that it is smaller than I remembered it being in my head, but also it is our first house so I am worried about making the wrong decision as we'll be stuck with it for donkeys years and after almost 20 years renting I am a bit nervous of being stuck somewhere we're not sure on...help!!

I have short commute small house
My house is tiny though, and dc fed up of sharing

BlouseAndSkirt

No one puts in decent public transport or alternative infrastructure for other transport, it’s only ever about cars, 5 seater cars for one commuter

@agonyauntie2020 Im in Ireland. The walls arent as thin and the layout tends to be much better, big open plan kitchen dining rooms and the smallest bedroom is never quite as small. Dont get me wrong, theyre far from palatial, but the smallest mid terrace here isnt as small as small mid terraces in england in my experiences.

Good points about petrol etc too, that really does bother me

And many of the answers on this thread demonstrate why, in advocating that it is better for the OP and her DH between them to spend an additional 2 hours a day with a car in the road, burning petrol.

Have you read the answers? Few people have actually said an additional two hours a day in a car would be preferable. I'm thinking of a longer commute for me and DH but that would be an hour between us on the train. Less driving in a car than we currently do in fact.

Op I’m in Ireland too. I’d be inclined to go for the new build as your children are older and will be moving out for college, probably, in a few years time (though, given the housing crisis here, could well be living with you in their twenties!) The only thing I’d worry about in the new build is noise. Are the walls good or can you hear the neighbours? Also, are the houses on either side of you more likely to be owner-occupied or rented out? (There is a difference-especially in Ireland where people tend to buy rather than rent.) The location of the new-build sounds rather nice-near the sea, and such short commutes are ideal. An added bonus is the fact that your children will be close to things so you won’t be “Mum’s Taxi” too often.

Until you have had super short commute you can't really anticipate how much you will miss it.
Also the difference between always needing the car or saying to your children "get a bus"....is unquantifiable until you have had it and loose it.

Now obviously if the town was in anyway rough etc...a whole other conversation would be had.

But if it's good location versus's a bit of extra space. Then space everytime for me.

Several friends of mine have both choices.....the ones that stayed urban as their children got older never regretted.

The ones that moved, while living where they live, absolutely hate the total dependence on the car, of them and their children.

The only other thing worth considering is how secure are your jobs, do you work for companies likely to relocate.

Two years after buying my OH's company relocated. Lots of his colleagues ended up with an hour commute instead of 10 minutes. (The company only moved 10 miles but to a location where many had to battle traffic). I'm glad we didn't buy just on the basis of his commute.

I think depends on how you live. I've just moved to a big house with giant commute from teeny house and teeny commute.
I am loving the space. It's been 6 months and the fact I can breath and have my own wonderful space away from dh and dc when I need it is absolutely fabulous.
I will never go back to a tiny house and I honestly thought my last house was perfect for us, it was only family circumstances that forced a move.

Yes Woodchuck I have actually read the answers.

And I have now counted. Out of a majority of ‘short commute’ replies and several that were ‘look at the pros and cons’ no less than 16 posters think it better to increase the driving time.

Thanks all. Our jobs are pretty secure, and plenty of similar jobs nearby so not too worried about that aspect.
@Procrastination4 thanks, yes there are some differences here. The walls are a bit thicker than an average new build I think with the A rating, but I would like to try and test it if I can somehow!

smaller house, no commute

it would be very selfish to drag away your children from the centrum where they can meet freely their friends after school and do some after-school activities, to some middle-of-nowhere-place where they would be dependent on you ferrying them all the time (exhausting)

if you are torn, buy the new town terrace, you can be there at least 5-10 years and then you can sell it and go to some bigger rural place when it is not affecting the children

you dont have to stay there forever if you dont like it
many people take mortgages and buy flats/houses and then rent it out, if the circumstances change

for the sake of your children, stay at the centrum