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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not saying hello to dog walker

255 replies

liferr · 29/01/2020 14:28

My husband and I are both able to work from home a couple of times a week but we have a dog walker for consistency.

I mostly just shout hi to her or pretend I'm not in. Dh thinks I'm rude for not going up to dog walker and saying hello in person. Can't be arsed tbh. Especially if I haven't bothered to put my bra on!

Do you say hello every time?

Aibu?

OP posts:
liferr · 29/01/2020 15:49

I'm an engineer for an ISP. I probably have 4 hours worth of Skype conferences a day and always have a deadline or 6 to meet. I work far more when I'm home.

I find if I leave my monitors (have 3) it's always harder to jump back into the spreadsheet.

OP posts:
Squirrelblanket · 29/01/2020 15:49

I don't think it's rude. You are working, she is working.

If I was the dog walker I would rather just get in and get on with things and not have to be 'greeted' and do small talk.

Snuffkindle · 29/01/2020 15:50

Sorry rude. I get it but you've got to force yourself.

BumpyNugget · 29/01/2020 15:51

You're an actual woman so of course you are being rude. Don't you know women are supposed to be super polite, nice and chatty to every Tom, Dick or Harriet that comes within hearing distance, even if they are on a conference call and the other person has shown no desire for a warm personal greeting or a chat.

I think this responsibility resides somewhere inside the tits, though I am not sure if it's the left one, the right one or both.

Yes, I am being sarcastic.

If you are from home, you are still AT WORK.

Could one be expected to drive home from an actual office building where they work in order to walk up to the dog walker and say "hello, how are you today". No, because that would be freaking mental and would rather negate hiring the dog walker in the first place.

In an actual building designated for commercial purposes alone, how many average workers, male or female, expect the MD to come out of their office to say good morning to all workers as they arrive and have a little chat. My DH hasn't seen the person who owns his workplace for 3 years despite him having his office there.

You are not rude, you are at work.

bugbhaer · 29/01/2020 15:51

Being in the fortunate position you can afford to pay someone to help make your life easier

Yes, and the least you can do is acknowledge that someone when they come in to your home.

DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 15:54

Nope, I work on complex stuff that requires my full concentration. If I'm in the middle of something, I'm not breaking off to say hi to the dog walker who has let herself in anyway and is busy with my dog. She doesn't shout up to say hi to me either.

When I close the door of my office, I'm at work, not at home.

Lifeasweknow · 29/01/2020 15:55

I mean, you have a dog walker for a reason and she is more than likely aware of this. If you had to time to stand and natter, you might as well take the dog out yourself. Yes, you are at home but you're working.
She will probably find it more odd now if you start going to see her when she comes.

PawPawNoodle · 29/01/2020 15:55

I get it, I'm the same re losing momentum at work. However I would always yell down a 'hi, busy with work and cant come down, hope you're ok!' and get back to it. I do the same to Mr. Noodle when he gets home and I'm engrossed. I'd feel rude to not acknowledge someone in my home, especially a paid employee who might feel more like a servant doing your chores without being seen or heard.

VoleClock · 29/01/2020 15:56

I m a dog walker. Just shouting 'Hi' would be fine by me. I don't want to chat. I would prefer to know you are there though (so you don't hear me talking in silly voice to your dog!)

LaBarbera · 29/01/2020 15:58

I work at home (freelance) and have been doing some dog walking on the side. I like a chat, but I also really appreciate when I can just pick up the dog and get going -- I need to use all the productive hours in the day, one way or another, or I lose earnings. Better for me, better for dog, better for the client who needs me to take the dog out so they can use their own time productively. Nothing personal about it at all.

TwoHeadedYellowBelliedHoleDig · 29/01/2020 15:58

You're working, you can't always pop out to say hi.

Anyway more importantly- did the dog remember to remind you the dog walker had a dentist appointment?

LaBarbera · 29/01/2020 15:59

Oh yes, and what @VoleClock said. Nice to know if someone's in so I can do my silly dog voices. But if they are in, they don't have to deal with me!

Baker1985 · 29/01/2020 16:00

If ya husband is there dealing with dog walker then no I wouldn't go out every day to say hi surely it doesn't take to people to greet her. but if she's letting herself in to collect dog/drop of bk home then yes I would make a little effort

Didshereally · 29/01/2020 16:01

I don't think it's rude at all. You're busy working that's why you have a dog walker and she has a key. Why would you want to interrupt your work to go say hello and chat 5 mins taking yourself out of the "zone" (and have to put a bra on as well!Grin!!) I bet the dog walker also prefers to just get on with it and get dog out for his walk.

Just say hello when you're making coffee and she comes in every now and then. I bet dog walker hasn't even given it a second thought.

Didshereally · 29/01/2020 16:04

Anyway more importantly- did the dog remember to remind you the dog walker had a dentist appointment?

GrinGrinGrin

Alexandernevermind · 29/01/2020 16:04

The thing is you are at work and won't have time for chit chat. This is a business arrangement from her point so she won't have time for chat either. Always shout hello, and when you have 5 minutes one day just say some thing along the lines of "thanks for doing this, I don't come through as I'm in the middle of (insert nature of work)". No problem.

WorraLiberty · 29/01/2020 16:05

Yeah it's rude not to shout out "Hi" and "thanks" when she drops the dog off again.

IntermittentParps · 29/01/2020 16:06

Gosh, Tiger, you're being quite aggressive.

Coralfish · 29/01/2020 16:07

It can be so tiresome engaging with the lower orders.

It can be tiresome when you just want to get on with your job and your employer just wants to chat.

I used to have a similar job, and I would find it awkward not knowing if someone was home (so I would appreciate a shouted 'hi') but grateful they weren't keeping me by chatting.

LonginesPrime · 29/01/2020 16:08

Gotta love MN!

OP: I have a small etiquette question about dog walkers.

Random strangers: You don't deserve a dog...

Yamihere · 29/01/2020 16:08

I'm a dog walker. Definitely not rude. You are over thinking it. Dog walker will realise you are busy and that is why she has been hired by you. From my opinion, as a dog walker, I am there to do a job and to be honest, do this so I don't have to interact with humans much.

Yamihere · 29/01/2020 16:12

Hahaha just read other comments that many people think its rude. No wonder I am socially awkward. If you buy your walker small gifts, I am sure you are one of her favourite customers. Just ask her next time if she finds it weird if you are worried

itbemay1 · 29/01/2020 16:14

I don't think you're rude at all, you're working from home and you're paying for a service I wouldn't feel odd about it at all.

myself2020 · 29/01/2020 16:14

It proofs that a lot of people on here are not dog walkers.... if i wanted to make polite chitchat i would have become a receptionist or similar

Interestedwoman · 29/01/2020 16:14

Who hands her the dogs? Is it always your DH? I think saying hello (or maybe at least waving from in the house or something?) is only polite. It's a woman, so the bra thing doesn't matter so much.

It seems as if you have social anxiety? I get that sometimes, so can understand.