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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not saying hello to dog walker

255 replies

liferr · 29/01/2020 14:28

My husband and I are both able to work from home a couple of times a week but we have a dog walker for consistency.

I mostly just shout hi to her or pretend I'm not in. Dh thinks I'm rude for not going up to dog walker and saying hello in person. Can't be arsed tbh. Especially if I haven't bothered to put my bra on!

Do you say hello every time?

Aibu?

OP posts:
Lincolnfield · 31/01/2020 06:37

I don’t know if people have actually read the OP. Nobody has said anything about ‘small talk’ or ‘chit chat’. The OPs DH has simply said she should actually say HELLO - that’s it. Nothing more, just have the bloody good manners to say hello.

The fact that the OP has said she can’t be arsed just demonstrates a high handed level of rudeness.

As I said in an earlier post, people working at home do not work constantly every hour of the day without a break. Anyone who claims otherwise is a total liar. OP also says she works at home at couple of times a week’ - so will her job be in jeopardy if on a couple of occasions in the working week she literally gets up off the arse she’s so fond of just to say ‘hello’?

VK456 · 31/01/2020 08:08

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily

I’m merely asking a question. You seem to be making assumptions.

DreamTheMoors · 31/01/2020 16:08

Happy to hear that almost everyone agrees you’re being rude - because you’re being terribly rude!
Equally happy to hear you’re getting the message.
You never know, in the future, when you’re really going to need that person (whoever they may be) that you’ve been unkind to. And then they can’t be arsed to help you.
Always be kind. You’ll find it makes you a happier person.

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 31/01/2020 16:20

Happy to hear that almost everyone agrees you’re being rude - because you’re being terribly rude!

Almost everyone...except the actual dog walkers.

You'd think they'd be the ones to listen to wouldn't you?

Nettie1964 · 31/01/2020 17:20

Sorry u are v v v rude.

BelfastNonBlonde · 01/02/2020 06:38

I tried to chat to my dog walker a couple of times but she was in too much of a hurry and barely responded..
I hate when people try to chat loads and hold me back when I’m working also.
Definitely nice to acknowledge her with a wave if youse happen to see each other tho!

Do all these people with endless time for chit chat also annoy their bin men, post/delivery people EVERY bloody day?! Doubt it.

DreamTheMoors · 01/02/2020 21:49

@WendyMoiraAngelaDarling

Rude is rude, whether or not people agree with it.

NoooorthonerMum · 01/02/2020 21:56

All you people are wierdos who probably don't ever work from home. If you're working from home you might well not be able to march out of the office to say hi to the bloody dog walker. What if you're in the middle of a meeting or conducting an interview or discussing something on slack? Apart from that if I'm in the middle of a thought process or writing some code it's incredibly distracting to stop and start again in a few minutes. I'd probably just leave a note saying I'm working in the office and can't come out.

Surely the dog walker is an adult who understands that when people are at work they can't just drop whatever they're doing to say hi - and most dog walkers don't really want to say hi, they want to grab the dog walk it and go home again. You people really are barmy!

NoooorthonerMum · 01/02/2020 21:58

@Nettie1964 @DreamTheMoors

I take it you're the kind of annoying people who think "working from home" means you're actually free to do what you like when you like. I have relatives like that. Used to ring me up in the middle of the day for a chat "I thought you were working from home Wednesday?". Yes working and I was in a meeting via the magic of the internet which I can't interrupt! My bil once had a parcel delivered and got annoying when I couldn't go to the door to retrieve it.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 01/02/2020 22:11

Haven't read all 10 pages but it totally depends what you're doing. If you're sitting around the sofa then yes you should say hi. If you're working then obviously you don't need to stop your work to chat to the dog walker (who will probably be relived you haven't anyway). Obviously if you go down and say hi you'll have to make some small talk - you can't literally say "hi" then run away.

MurrayTheMonk · 01/02/2020 22:16

Our dog Walker is In and out double quick as she has other dogs waiting in the van usually so is in and out as fast as she can having let herself in with her key. I don't always have time to realise she is there to even shout down if I'm concentrating on something (on the few days I am at home in the day working). She isn't bothered by it if I don't go down and say hello... I don't think you are being rude really OP.
But if you are worried just shout down-'hi, sorry I can't come down-I'm on mute but on a call' and leave it at that.

OnceFreshFish · 01/02/2020 22:30

If the dog walker knows you're working she's not going to expect you to come and say hi is she? It would be weird if she could see you sat about watching Netflix and you just ignored her but I think any normal person would understand that if you're working you're not going to be in and out to say hello.

I don't have a dog (so obviously no dog walker) but had a plumber doing some work for us who used a key - I just explained that I might be in working but I'd be off in the office and wouldn't be available so he should help himself to tea and biscuits etc. Do people really expect you to interrupt whatever you're doing to say hello to them? What if you're on a call or doing something else urgent?

DreamTheMoors · 01/02/2020 22:33

@NoooorthonerMum

I am “working from home”. My being unable to interrupt a meeting, etc., is a far cry from “not being arsed” to.
And my dog walker knows that.

HolesinTheSoles · 01/02/2020 22:39

@DreamTheMoors Unless you have an incredibly relaxed working environment then there is no way in hell you would say "sorry guys I have to just leave for a minute to say hi to my dog walker". That's bloody mental! People would be rightly pissed off to sit around waiting for you and wouldn't be keen for you to work at home again! The reason you pay a dog walker is so that you can continue working uninterrupted while the dog gets walked!

Unless the dog walker is your good friend she isn't going to know anything about your working environment and she isn't going to assume you can just blithely wander in and out of meetings to have a chat with someone!

TSSDNCOP · 01/02/2020 22:41

It’s a professional arrange a no?

Dog walker benefits from taking dogs out whilst working/working from home people work.

Working/working from home people benefit from paying a kind person to walk their dog.

Why does it need more than a polite, business-like exchange (if appropriate) and prompt payment?

My cleaner is here when I’m in conference calls. We silently wave and crack on with our work.

Disclaimer: I cannot get alongside not getting dressed when WFH.

ALLMYSmellySocks · 01/02/2020 22:44

@Lincolnfield

Don't be so daft! That's such a silly post! Are you actually claiming OP should walk down the stairs say "hello" to the dog walker and walk back up the stairs again! lol that's hilarious.Of course she'd have to make some small talk!

Of course you don't work every second when at home but you also choose when you stop for a break - not when you're in the middle of something. Don't you ever chat on the internal messenger? Have a phone meeting? You can't just drop things when you feel like it.

The dog walker is going to have no clue (and nor is she going to care) whether OP doesn't come down because she's in the middle of something important or because she just can't be arsed. Most dog walkers are in the house for about 30 seconds before they're out again. If it was a cleaner in there for four hours I'd come out when I was free and say hi but a dog walker who's in and out is definitely not going to expect or want it in most cases.

DreamTheMoors · 01/02/2020 22:47

@HolesinTheSoles

I never said that. In fact, I literally said the opposite.
My DW comes in & shouts hello - I shout back hello unless I’m involved in a meeting.
PP just love to twist people’s words on MN.

LolaDarkdestroyer · 01/02/2020 22:51

Meh if you can't be stars you can't be arsed, if she was that pissed off by it she would be saying "is your mummy an ignorant cunt" in a loud doggy voice as well.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 01/02/2020 22:54

Is this a professional dog walker? Or a friend doing you a favour? If the former then it's fine to just keep working. If you weren't working you wouldn't need a dog walker in the first place. Even without being in a conference call it would be annoying to lose my chain of thought for such a pointless interaction. The dog walker would probably then feel like she had to say something in return and would be frustrated and want to get on with her job.

Ohyesiam · 01/02/2020 22:55

I think I know what you mean op. Sometimes human contact can seem so onerous off I’m not “people ready”.
Just yell Hi, she’ll understand.

MarchSurprise · 01/02/2020 22:56

I'm a dog walker and completely understand that if a client is home they don't always have time for a chat. I'd be mortified if hey felt they HAD to break offfrom what they're doing to come and chat with me -surely I would become more of a hindrance than help at that point? Don't feel rude for shouting hello either though, that's fine too!

Wereallsquare · 01/02/2020 23:00

Not rude at all, OP! How tiresome to have to get up every time. You are nice to the dog walker when you meet her. You do not have to greet her and make small talk if you are not up for it. If I were you dog walker, I would be grateful to be able to just do my job.

Piplette · 01/02/2020 23:05

I don't think it seems rude at all.

I'm often working from home when the dog walker comes (and currently on mat leave). If I'm near the door when the arrive to collect or drop off I'll say hi and sometimes have a quick chat but I don't make a point of coming downstairs etc to say hi.

I don't see its as an issue and given they are usually b2b walking dogs I'd imagined they are glad not to have to waste time on general chit chat.

My SIL worked as a dog walker for a while and she preferred it when she could just pop in and out quickly without the awkward small talk!

maimeo · 02/02/2020 01:53

My own dog is so interested in your dogs life that he's RTFT unlike many of the self righteous posters here. He's so envious of the early morning walk by you OP, and the hour with your obviously excellent DW, and a doting granny for company, not to mention the massage time, that he wants to go and live with you!

Ridiculous answers here, you're a committed dog owner and not rude at all to your DW, just business like.

melj1213 · 02/02/2020 03:22

Idk if it's just because I live alone (when DD is at her dad's) and only a limited number of people have a key, but if I'm in my house and someone lets themselves in, I always shout "Hello" at the very least.

I mostly do it so that they know someone is in the house and that someone is meant to be there (ie I'm not a burglar who has broken in and is trying not to get caught) but equally, if the person coming in is a thief then they are immediately aware the house is not empty and they have been heard/possibly seen.

If I was the OP and I was expecting the dog walker, then I would just call out "Hello? Is that you Mary?", using the dog walker's name, as then they will either reply and you know it is the dog walker or if it is someone else then they can make themselves known.