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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to be rushed out of a car park?

603 replies

MsMarvel · 29/01/2020 12:30

Travel around for work, so regularly use public car parks to then work at client sites (hotels, bars etc) always arrive early so never have any issue getting spaces in busy car parks.

Because i work in a public area at a client site, when i get back to my car like to grab my lunch quickly and make some phonecalls before heading home (todays journey is a 2 hour drive home)

Im fed up of people trying to find spaces in car parks seeing me going into my car, amd sitting behind me waiting for me to leave! I normally end up feeling rushed and just leave, but today i decided to sit and eat the steak bake i bought on the way to the car. Woman sits behind me for like 5 mins, then goes past slowly peering into my car giving me proper evils. Should add, engine not on, so not sitting with idling engine.

Aibu to take some time before leaving a parking space??

OP posts:
Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:30

Presumably if OP sat on a bench outside her car park before going to the car and had her lunch, you would have no issue, @Thestrangestthing*? What's the difference?

The difference is, obviouy people will think she is leaving the space if she gets into the drivers seat Hmm honestly don't know how many more times I have to say this.

DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 14:30

No, but I do like to take the time to wipe my arse properly regardless of the size of queue. I don't think many people enjoy sitting for leisure in a public toilet, do they? It's hardly the same as a car, unless random people are shitting in the back seat.

MrsStrangerThing · 29/01/2020 14:31

Eckhart, it is more the general thinking really. A lot of posters are simply saying they should be able to sit and faff around in their car as long as they like, regardless of others needing a space. That's their right, but obviously it would be kinder to move on and let someone else get parked up. If you are saying your issue is that there's genuinely nowhere else at all that you could possibly pull over to faff, then fair enough, but that means you are in agreement that it would be best to move on (you just can't). So clearly you are actually on the same page......

isabellerossignol · 29/01/2020 14:34

I bet all you people who think it is OK to sit in your car when people are waiting also think it is OK to spend ages in a toilet cubicle when there is a queue because you fancied a sit down for a bit.

Do people do that? Shock. Of all the places you could have a little sit down just because you fancy it, surely a public toilet is the worst of all options.

starfishmummy · 29/01/2020 14:34

But June someone eating in their car in a hospital car park doesnt mean they are going to leave. They might be having their lunch BEFORE their appointment and prefer to sit in the car than in the germ laden waiting room. Same thing applies in other places and in other scenarios like doing make up or reading.

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:35

I obviously live in a very different area to you as our local council do just provide car parks around the town not attached to any particular facility,

Well I would imagine they're not there for people to sit and eat lunch. I doubt the council are spending money putting in car parks for that reason. They just put them where they can fit them, but yest they will be there for the town center etc.

DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 14:36

Ah, to bring business to the town centre, like where OP purchased her steak bake Grin

Eckhart · 29/01/2020 14:36

If there's other places to go, then the new arrivals should use that, rather than pressure those who arrived earlier and have already parked and paid.

Blitzen2 · 29/01/2020 14:37

This drives me mad. If the car park is really busy and there are no spaces why can’t you just be kind and move along? I’m sure you could find somewhere else to park up for 10 minutes.

MrsStrangerThing · 29/01/2020 14:37

Des, dare I ask what a steakbake actually is? I have to say, it sounds pretty good!

isabellerossignol · 29/01/2020 14:37

As to the car park question, it depends entirely on whether the car park is busy. Some people see a half empty car park and yet decide that the only space that will possibly do is one that already has someone in it. I find that completely bizarre (disclaimer: obviously it is different if the space they want is the only disabled space or something, and another one just isn't an option) and don't feel anyone should be under any obligation to move just because someone won't use a different space.

If it is a busy car park with people driving round and round looking for spaces, then yes, get into your car and get out of there.

DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 14:39

They are godly (if it's a Greggs one. I hope it wasn't a cheap knock-off as OP would definitely BU). It's just beef and gravy in puff pastry. But the simplicity is its secret.

Scillyme · 29/01/2020 14:39

Could you not lie on the back seat to eat your food thereby giving the impression of the car being vacated.

Wtfdoipick · 29/01/2020 14:41

In our council they are there to make money, yes they are where they can fit them in but they are also the ones that you would use for any purpose not just for going to the shops. I'm also in a walking area so you would use the same car park for various of the local walks, the same car park for the local church, the same car park for the health centre, the same car park for various other things too. Seriously there is absolultely no way my council would have an issue if someone used them to sit and eat lunch they are there simply to make money,

I'm not saying it isn't polite to move as quickly as is reasonable however I also think using your car to eat lunch and make phone calls is a reasonable use. I do however think it is wrong of other drivers to make someone feel harrassed to move their car.

BohoBunney · 29/01/2020 14:41

If she was sat on a bench in the carpark she would still be using the space so why is it any different? She will still be using the space for the same allotted amount of time?

Strugglingtodomybest · 29/01/2020 14:42

I've voted Yanbu to sit in your car, but yabu not to indicate to people waiting that you're not going anywhere soon, especially as it's winding you up!

Eckhart · 29/01/2020 14:42

I've not been in Greggs for years but I used to, just so I could say 'A steak bake and a flake cake, please!'

They stopped doing flake cakes though and I lost interest.

Oulu · 29/01/2020 14:44

If you are using the facility to have lunch, then you are eating in that facility, not in your car taking up their car parking spaces for people who actually need to use the facility. It's just common decency.

But what difference does it make to other people who need to use the facility? OP could sit outside the car park and eat her sandwiches, then go to her car and leave. Or she could go to her car, eat her sandwiches and leave. The likelihood is that in scenario 2 she will leave slightly earlier, as she hasn't had to find somewhere to sit and eat. Isn't that better from the point of view of anyone who wants to park there.

urright · 29/01/2020 14:44

YNBU. I have returned to my legally parked car on a council run car park feeling poorly, had to sit in the drivers seat and wait a few minutes until I felt better. Someone loudly banged on my side window, scaring me, asking if I was leaving, I said no, he did go away then. I now sit in the passenger seat if I'm feeling unwell and need a few minutes before leaving or need something to eat as well. There simply is nowhere nearby to park up legally and it's safer anyway to wait. I have paid for that space until I am ready to leave.

onionface · 29/01/2020 14:44

Of course YANBU to eat your lunch in your car. I've sat in the car in a car park plenty of times to eat or to feed a hungry baby before setting off. You can't do those things while driving so you do need the space, just as much as anyone else who might want the space.

rottiemum88 · 29/01/2020 14:44

*It is really annoying when people sit in a totally full car park to eat their lunch/make phone calls though.

Why don't you go and park up elsewhere so somebody else can have your space?*

So you're suggesting the OP leaves a car park, where she's already parked, to park up in (presumably) another car park? I can't understand how people aren't seeing the insanity of this suggestion.

Most car parks don't come with usage instructions do they? I.e. that you need to be out of your car for the duration of the time you're parked there, or that you must leave as soon as you return to your vehicle?

If the OP so chose, she could rock up to any car park, get her ticket, go back to her vehicle and sleep for 2 hours if that was her prerogative, then pay for her ticket and leave. Choosing to sit in her car and eat her lunch before setting off on a long journey is no different. The reasons the other drivers have for needing OPs space are no less valid than her own.

Oulu · 29/01/2020 14:45

This drives me mad. If the car park is really busy and there are no spaces why can’t you just be kind and move along? I’m sure you could find somewhere else to park up for 10 minutes.

If OP can find somewhere to park up, then so can anyone else.

HairyFloppins · 29/01/2020 14:46

YANBU. I would just let people know I was not leaving.

Eckhart · 29/01/2020 14:49

@MsMarvel I voted YANBU and think you are totally within your rights to keep your car in the space for as long as you pay for the space, whether you are in it or not.

But I just wondered how you would feel if you turned up early in the morning and every space was already filled with cars, and all the cars were occupied by drivers eating?

I think this is a bit more nuanced than a simple yes or no.

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:50

Ah, to bring business to the town centre, like where OP purchased her steak bake

Ah in greggs where you can sit in 😂