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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to be rushed out of a car park?

603 replies

MsMarvel · 29/01/2020 12:30

Travel around for work, so regularly use public car parks to then work at client sites (hotels, bars etc) always arrive early so never have any issue getting spaces in busy car parks.

Because i work in a public area at a client site, when i get back to my car like to grab my lunch quickly and make some phonecalls before heading home (todays journey is a 2 hour drive home)

Im fed up of people trying to find spaces in car parks seeing me going into my car, amd sitting behind me waiting for me to leave! I normally end up feeling rushed and just leave, but today i decided to sit and eat the steak bake i bought on the way to the car. Woman sits behind me for like 5 mins, then goes past slowly peering into my car giving me proper evils. Should add, engine not on, so not sitting with idling engine.

Aibu to take some time before leaving a parking space??

OP posts:
Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:52

But what difference does it make to other people who need to use the facility?

Well if they see her walk to the car and get in the drivers seat, they will think she is leaving and they can get the space. If she doesn't do that they won't think they are finally getting a space. Think that's 4 times I've said that now.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/01/2020 14:52

Bollocks to all the outrage!

Some of us work in / from our cars. If I want to use a parking space to eat my lunch, make phone calls, finish reports then I bloody well will. There is no law against it and my making a living is just as important as your need to go shopping.

I use the facilities, buy things, park and use the time allotted to do whatever I need to get done.

As do very many other people.

Wexone · 29/01/2020 14:55

don't think you are being unreasonabale hower as people saying its only manners that if you see people waiting for the sapce let them know you are not leaving. No needs to know why you are waiting, that is your own perogative.

PurpleGentian · 29/01/2020 14:55

I know it can be annoying if you want a space and people get into the car and don’t leave, but sometimes there isn’t anywhere else nearby that’s safe and legal for people like OP to park up in while they eat their steak bake or do whatever else they need to.

AdobeWanKenobi · 29/01/2020 14:58

Ah in greggs where you can sit in

Not in any of the three near me you cant.

PrimalLass · 29/01/2020 14:59

It's just consideration, and behaving to others as we'd like them to behave to us. That was instilled to me as a child, and I find it really odd that other people don't see life that way.

Except you want your needs to take precedence.

lottiegarbanzo · 29/01/2020 15:02

Ignore them. Actually moving because you feel pressured is crazy behaviour. Their reading of the situation is understandable though, so to save them the confusion and delay, sitting in the passenger seat is a great idea.

Frazzled2207 · 29/01/2020 15:06

Mixed feelings here yanbu to do what you do but those that want the space are not unreasonable in thinking you might be leaving soon.
As annoying as it is you need to signal to them that you're not going yet.
Personally if car park full I would drive out and stop somewhere where less demand for a space.

SunshineCake · 29/01/2020 15:08

@LittleMissGrumpyGrot the car park in town states one has 15 minutes to get out from the time of payment.

Sitting in the passenger seat is a brilliant idea.

Juliette20 · 29/01/2020 15:13

I'd just ignore them, but if the car park was full, if it was possible to go somewhere else to eat I would.

Siting in the passenger seat is a great idea though, that's ninja level.

Andtwomakesix · 29/01/2020 15:14

I don't often jump in my car and head straight off. Sometimes I make calls etc (especially if it's noisy outside). I do sometimes hover a bit when I see people heading to their car if I need a space but if they don't turn the engine on straight away I presume they aren't leaving yet and move on. It's not like they are obliged to leave so not their problem I need a space. People who hover when you are trying to get small kids into their seats and pushchairs into cars wind me up...more than once I've shouted over that we will be a while. It's just impossible to get everyone in the car, strapped in and settled in any short space of time when they are small. If they are happy to wait the while then at least I warned them.

Besidesthepoint · 29/01/2020 15:22

@russell19

It annoys me when a car park is clearly full and people sit in their cars not caring.

I have type 1 diabetes and will check my bloddsugar levels to see if I'm fit to drive. If I'm not I wait in my nice, dry, warm car till I can drive. Safety first and all that. Don't judge when you don't know the reason why.

cologne4711 · 29/01/2020 15:23

Those of you who think it's fine to stay there even if the space is needed - what do you think about people who sit in their cars having got petrol and paid for it, if there's a queue behind them? And if you think it's different, why?

Original poster
MsMarvel · 29/01/2020 15:23

Wow was not expecting this amount of replies!! Glad i seem to be with the majority opinion but i suppose its not surprising that its mixed (there has to be some people that are the ones that bang on windows...😂)

To clear things up, it was a council town centre car park, not attached to any specific facility. Was a free car park so no tickets or fees needed for anyone.

The other option for my lunch was to stand outside in the rain and eat it.

I tried to catch the other drivers eye to signal i wasnt leaving but she was obviously satisfied she was getting a space so was looking at something on her phone while she waited for me to leave. Was one woman on her own, no kids or elderly relatives.

Next time ill sit in the passanger seat, as that appears to be the answer to avoid confusion.

OP posts:
DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 15:25

But petrol stations aren't car parks Confused Some of them do have parking spaces, though...

Original poster
MsMarvel · 29/01/2020 15:26

Also, no where else i could have moved to to eat my lunch (and yes it was a greggs steakbake!), old town centre with little narrow roads and then straight from there onto a fairly busy a road so no real opportunities to park up somewhere else. And not sure why i would need to hunt for somewhere else to park when i was already parked...

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 29/01/2020 15:26

Some people see a half empty car park and yet decide that the only space that will possibly do is one that already has someone in it. I find that completely bizarre

Me too. I usually find as well that if there is one space free, the people in the car next to the space will have all the doors open and take ages to sort themselves out.

If OP can find somewhere to park up, then so can anyone else

Well perhaps. But it's easier to stop somewhere for 10 mins to eat a sandwich (steakbake in this case) than find a space for say 2 hours.

cologne4711 · 29/01/2020 15:28

But petrol stations aren't car parks confused Some of them do have parking spaces, though

They do, I didn't mean the spaces, I meant the people who sit in their cars for ages having paid for their petrol. Hence why I always try to go to my local petrol station when it's not busy as people faff so much.

I think it's broadly the same principle though - not blocking someone when you've finished.

isabellerossignol · 29/01/2020 15:30

I remember a thread on mumsnet ages ago where the OP was outraged that people leave their cars at the pumps in order to go in and pay. Confused

onionface · 29/01/2020 15:34

Those of you who think it's fine to stay there even if the space is needed - what do you think about people who sit in their cars having got petrol and paid for it, if there's a queue behind them? And if you think it's different, why?

Totally different. There are usually only a few petrol pumps. People tend to go to a petrol station to use the petrol pumps, as it's the only place that provides petrol. There are often other spaces to park up if you don't need petrol.

If it's a hospital car park, doctors surgery etc then your comparison to a petrol station is valid. If it's a general car park not attached to an essential service, people can use it for whatever reason they want to. Including parking up to eat a steak bake.

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 15:37

There is no law against it and my making a living is just as important as your need to go shopping.

How do you know what people are there for???

CruCru · 29/01/2020 15:37

To be fair, some car parks are verging on hellish. I've had people slowly follow me in their cars while I do a cut through from one street to another and then get annoyed once it became clear that I wasn't walking towards any car.

Realistically, even if there is somewhere for the OP to pull over and eat in her car, she probably won't know where it is if she doesn't live or work there.

Yes, sit in the passenger seat. Then at least you won't get food on the steering wheel.

LakieLady · 29/01/2020 15:38

YANBU.

When I worked out in the community, my car was my office, my canteen, everything bar the lavatory, really.

Between visits, I'd sit in it and eat my lunch, make calls, answer emails, write up notes etc on my laptop and sometimes just read the paper.

We got banned from accessing client records in public places after someone complained because they were able to read the notes on the database over a worker's shoulder when they were working from a cafe in a supermarket. After that, the only way you could avoid getting really behind was to do your inputting from your car.

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 15:39

Not in any of the three near me you cant.

Strange, everyone I pass now has seating, no matter how small, they cram seats in there.

Eckhart · 29/01/2020 15:40

@cologne4711 It's different because one is a car park and one is not.

Why do you think it's comparable?