To not want to be rushed out of a car park?

[MsMarvel]

Travel around for work, so regularly use public car parks to then work at client sites (hotels, bars etc) always arrive early so never have any issue getting spaces in busy car parks.

Because i work in a public area at a client site, when i get back to my car like to grab my lunch quickly and make some phonecalls before heading home (todays journey is a 2 hour drive home)

Im fed up of people trying to find spaces in car parks seeing me going into my car, amd sitting behind me waiting for me to leave! I normally end up feeling rushed and just leave, but today i decided to sit and eat the steak bake i bought on the way to the car. Woman sits behind me for like 5 mins, then goes past slowly peering into my car giving me proper evils. Should add, engine not on, so not sitting with idling engine.

Aibu to take some time before leaving a parking space??

That is soooo true isabellerossignol

That thought came into my mind earlier - that I'm willing to bet quite a lot that all these decriers of sandwich-eating selfishness would never in a million years approach, harrass, or hover behind the car of a smartly dressed businessman in his parked car and expect that he stop making phone calls, or eating lunch, or looking over his paperwork. They'd see 'important man doing work stuff' and move on. Nor would they expect such a person to move for them, or even for that thought to cross his mind - which is the point here, what 'should' be in his mind.

It's all very 'burn the witch'. If those posters can't make a convincing general point e.g. a case that eating in a cafe would somehow cause the parking space to be vacated earlier (as this case cannot be made), they revert to stories that are vaguely similar but not actually relevant, about their different experiences in different kinds of car parks, or in their particular home town, to try to build up an adjacent but not actually relevant portrait of a 'selfish woman'.

Fascinating to watch.

A 'straw-woman of sandwich-eating selfishness', no less (steak bake works too). Ah, well that's my alliteration for the day done.

Right...
What do we think of putting on make up or MNetting while sitting in your car in a car park? Is having a snog with your partner ok?

And what are parents with children doing in busy city centres? Getting in the way of working people? Surely they're just going to waste their time at the local soft play area.

I'm just back from a hospital car park where there were cars trawling for spaces. There is absolutely no way I would have felt comfortable exerting my right to sit in my car for as long as a liked w/o signalling to the car indicating for my space.

Wow, @TooMuchTrouble4Me, you were the one who said there is no wastage of fuel in driving round to find a space in a nearby road rather than taking the direct route home. Don't blame others if you can't see the flaw in that. It's interesting that you resort to personal abuse in lieu of making a sensible point.

TheOrigRightsofwomen

I'm just back from a hospital car park where there were cars trawling for spaces. There is absolutely no way I would have felt comfortable exerting my right to sit in my car for as long as a liked w/o signalling to the car indicating for my space.

See upthread @Bekstar who needs to sit in her car because it’s connected to her nebuliser. She can sit in the car park all she likes, she should feel perfectly comfortable exerting her right.

Well, I'm just saying that I would not have felt comfortable.

I do think you have to take hospital/doctors car parks out of this equation if you have no medical/emotional reason to sit there and you are eating pastry goods and making phone calls etc.

I was thinking it relayed to normal supermarket/ pay and displays/multi storeys etc like you would find in any town where you would go shopping.

When my mother was seriously ill and, we thought, dying, I just needed somewhere to be on my own for a bit. All I could think of was my car, and that was where I went. I couldn't go for a walk - it was chucking down - and I couldn't drive out because I needed to be nearby, and I was in no state to drive anyway. Lucky for me that no-one thought that was selfish and horrible of me.

Carry a pre-prepared huge sign to stick in your window for future use. “Dear hopeful parker, to save you asking, revving, beeping or tapping on my window..... No I am not about to leave. Thank you....”

One of these would do the trick

You would all hate my DH right now. He is sitting in his car in a busy hospital carpark working on his laptop. He is very early for an appointment as he had to drop me at the station first. He decided he would rather just get a space and sit and work in his car rather than wait elsewhere then not be able to find a space later.

I am on the fence now @Apolloanddaphne, if he has an appointment then of course he will need a space especially if there's a risk of not getting one when his actual appointment is.

But what about the people that have an appointment before him and can't find a space?

Yup. That's the car park lottery! I have to say he will have no qualms about doing this. In fact it will never have crossed his mind that he shouldn't. He needs to be there, he needs to do some work, he has paid his money so he will sit in his car.

The car parks in hospitals are so expensive I wouldn't want to pay for any longer than necessary but best to not have the worry of desperately trying to find a space at the last minute

This is the 'do you get your food or a table first in a cafe' scenario in another format.

In both cases the people who use the facilities for longer than they strictly need to contribute significantly to the shortage of spaces/tables so therefore they are the ones who are being unreasonable.

If people didn't arrive early and not move on promptly afterwards, there would be less demand and therefore fewer people having to wait.

That's a chicken and egg situation too. People arrive early because they are scared of not being able to park. Then there are fewer parking spaces because each person is using each one for eg 3 hours instead of 2.

I have to say he will have no qualms about doing this. In fact it will never have crossed his mind that he shouldn't. He needs to be there, he needs to do some work, he has paid his money so he will sit in his car.

Ahahahaha! @isabellerossignol's point of 11.56am in one.

Oh dear oh dear... lottiegarbanzo & isabellerossignol .... don't just jump on the usual bandwagon by suggesting its about women being self sacrificing. It's sooo passe.
"Treat others as you yourself would want to be treated.... " A little consideration goes a long way and you may be in dire need of urgent car parking one day so think on that.

I do treat others as I'd want to be treated myself. I wouldn't want someone to feel obliged to leave their parking space before they are actually finished using it because I don't actually think I'm more entitled to it than they are. I'm fine with how I treat people, and generally find that other people are considerate as well.

Hospital car parks are funny things though. Ours isn't always full - just at visiting and clinic times and the clinic tends to overbook and so runs progressively later. If you get there 15 minutes before clinic start or visiting time start there is plenty of parking. If you try to arrive within those times so eg clinic starts at 9 and you have a 9.30 appointment. Arrive at 8.45 and park where you like but arrive at 9.15 and nowhere to park. In this scenario the early arrivers aren't actually using up more scarce parking time but rather queuing early in the same way you would waiting for a venue to open.

What one should do and what one habitually does are two entirely different things cuparfull Conflating the two does not create a coherent argument.

We could agree that everyone should think of others and act accordingly; to the extent that everyone's needs are regarded as equal and needs are more important than wants.

Thus, I am right to say that my need to eat lunch is more important than someone else's want to park in my particular space, rather than going to the effort of driving up to the next level to find another one.

But the point isabellerossignol made and Apolloanddaphne 's husband has illlustrated so neatly is that only women would think to question placing their right to meet their own need, or want, over servicing other people's needs or wants.

Apolloanddaphne 's husband will not be starting a thread on Mumsnet to query whether what he did was ok, because, unlike OP, it wouldn't occur to him that doing what suited him wasn't perfectly fine.

That - the inner workings of people's heads - is the difference between male and female socialisation. That's got bog all to do with what anyone should do in such a situation. But, given this difference, in general, 'men, be nicer and more considerate of others' would be a far more sensible slogan to take away from this discussion than 'women, remember to put others' wants in front of your own needs at all times'.

@TigerOnATrain. Bit of a stretch no? Assuming @Thestrangestthing has low self-esteem...This thread has turned nasty for some weird reason. Was funny up until a few pages ago.

Or, more briefly, my recommendation would be that, in terms of thoughtfulness and consideration, which are good things; men should try to be more like women, while women should try to be less like servants.

@Apolloanddaphne

Surely he'd be more comfortable working from the hospital cafe than his car?