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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to be rushed out of a car park?

603 replies

MsMarvel · 29/01/2020 12:30

Travel around for work, so regularly use public car parks to then work at client sites (hotels, bars etc) always arrive early so never have any issue getting spaces in busy car parks.

Because i work in a public area at a client site, when i get back to my car like to grab my lunch quickly and make some phonecalls before heading home (todays journey is a 2 hour drive home)

Im fed up of people trying to find spaces in car parks seeing me going into my car, amd sitting behind me waiting for me to leave! I normally end up feeling rushed and just leave, but today i decided to sit and eat the steak bake i bought on the way to the car. Woman sits behind me for like 5 mins, then goes past slowly peering into my car giving me proper evils. Should add, engine not on, so not sitting with idling engine.

Aibu to take some time before leaving a parking space??

OP posts:
Oulu · 29/01/2020 14:16

If you are using the facility then you need the space, if you are not, then you do not need the space and you should leave.

You can use a facility just as much by having lunch there as by doing anything else. Presumably if OP sat on a bench outside her car park before going to the car and had her lunch, you would have no issue, @Thestrangestthing? What's the difference?

DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 14:16

So let's get this straight. She's allowed to spend five mins on a random bench somewhere eating lunch while her car is in the car park. But it selfish for her to use those very same five minutes to sit in her car. Even though her car is taking up the exact same amount of space for the exact same amount of time. One is selfish and one isn't, apparently.

I imagine most people's thought processes when driving around looking for a space go:

'Oh is that person leaving? I'll wait a second. Nope doesn't look like it.' And on they go. Just like when you aren't sure if someone has just arrived or is leaving or if they are pulling out of a space to leave or just straighten up. It's just part of using car parks.

Oulu · 29/01/2020 14:16

OP, if you do this regularly, how about carrying a large sign with you saying "Sorry, not leaving yet"?

Mia1415 · 29/01/2020 14:16

@Thestrangestthing really! So you think its safe to drive when you can't see through the tears and are utterly distraught. You sound like a lovely person.

flouncyfanny · 29/01/2020 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsStrangerThing · 29/01/2020 14:17

Eckhart, fair enough, I do of course appreciate not every area is the same. I am simply stating what I do, if that isn't possible everywhere, that is fair enough. However most posters genuinely cannot see why it is nice to help someone out when it is possible to do so, that is what I find peculiar personally. I often eat lunch in my car but it genuinely has never occurred to me to do it somewhere that has cars circling desperate to get a space when I could easily park elsewhere to eat Confused

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:17

Where would she move to given parking spaces are in such high demand?

I couldn't give a specific location because I don't know the area

DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 14:17

@Mia1415 but at least they aren't SELFISH! GrinGrin Oh wait. Wanting someone in tears to drive off before they are ready just so you can park. Hmm... I wonder what that's called.

DesLynamsMoustache · 29/01/2020 14:18

Also if there is easy parking nearby for her to eat her lunch, then why aren't the 'circling cars' using it?!

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:18

You sound like a lovely person.

Well if you are going to be ridiculous, I will too.

AuntieMaggie · 29/01/2020 14:19

I think this is fine except if you are taking up a space in a hospital or a disabled/ parent and child space where there are no others available and people really need the space.

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:20

The op stated it was a public car park so I'm assuming it's a council owned and operated so for what ever the op wants to do, not therefore for a specific site.

Councils don't just stick random car parks in places where no one will use them. They are usually next to shops, or parks, or council facilities like swimming pools, so they usually to have a specific purpose.

Wtfdoipick · 29/01/2020 14:20

I do agree consideration should be shown however it needs to work both ways and it isn't considerate to try to hound someone out of a car parking space. If someone is sitting in a car and not leaving then leave them to it and presume they have a reason.

I will be courteous and move my car as quickly as possible, I'll even indicate I'm leaving and point to my car as I'm walking back to it but that doesn't stop it being rude the way some people try to barge you out of a space before you are ready.

Mia1415 · 29/01/2020 14:20

Some of us are simply pointing out that we don't because we find it good manners to not take up a space when there's other options.

And that's fine and great, but there are not always other options.

Wtfdoipick · 29/01/2020 14:23

Councils don't just stick random car parks in places where no one will use them. They are usually next to shops, or parks, or council facilities like swimming pools, so they usually to have a specific purpose.

I obviously live in a very different area to you as our local council do just provide car parks around the town not attached to any particular facility, and the nearest one to home is a good few minutes walk to the shops they do also have ones attached to things like the leisure centre but I wouldn't class that as public.

Highonpotandused · 29/01/2020 14:23

Today 13:42 Thestrangestthing

Next time get a donut too, OP

Yes be more selfish, that's what the world needs.

————————-

Oh give over. Sometimes a few minutes in the car is the only time I get to be alone. It’s not rude at all.

MrsStrangerThing · 29/01/2020 14:23

Des, as has been explained many times, if you are pulling over just to eat, you can pull over everywhere. If you are pulling over to park for a few hours, it is much trickier. Especially if you have to park near to where you are going, perhaps have a tiny child, are elderly, have a large item to carry. You honestly cannot see that??

When I am going in to work, I have to park in the work carpark due to the amount of medical equipment I have to bring in and out. Same when I am doing my home visits, I really need to park close to where I am going. When I pull over to make calls or eat or whatever, I don't have these restrictions Smile Can you not see the difference?

Thestrangestthing · 29/01/2020 14:24

You can use a facility just as much by having lunch there as by doing anything else.

If you are using the facility to have lunch, then you are eating in that facility, not in your car taking up their car parking spaces for people who actually need to use the facility. It's just common decency.

Highonpotandused · 29/01/2020 14:25

Where I live there is no where to park up. Every road is parking permit controlled or single or double lines.

Eckhart · 29/01/2020 14:27

Also if there is easy parking nearby for her to eat her lunch, then why aren't the 'circling cars' using it?!

Yes. There does seem to be an assumption from some on this thread that there's loads of other spaces available for the OP to move to, or that if she's in the car, it sort of ceases to exist as a physical entity...

Cheeserton · 29/01/2020 14:28

If the ticket is valid, you can keep parking. Nobody else's business what you do. The end.

howabout · 29/01/2020 14:28

Surely this is just queuing etiquette. The person who arrives first gets the space for as long as they need it. If you want to guarantee yourself a space you have to plan to arrive earlier or avoid busy times. The needs of the next in line don't trump the needs of the current incumbent.

I purposely park at the back of the car park or the top level of the multi-story to avoid being harassed. It is amazing how many people will wait for a space as close as possible to where they are going even when there are plenty more slightly further away.

00Sassy · 29/01/2020 14:28

I don’t think YABU OP, perhaps just a gesture to let them know you’re staying is reasonable though.

As for people having a go at passengers, I once asked my DP to collect me from the ‘pick up point’ at the supermarket rather than park up and come inside to meet me as was going to be less than two minutes as I was just about to pay.

Got to the pick up point, went to open the boot and a woman properly shouted at me ‘you shouldn’t park there, it’s for taxi’s only this part’
I replied that I’m not the driver so I hadn’t parked there and was just being picked up and that it’s not just for taxi’s (it’s really not and there was space for at least 3 other cars there at the time)

She wasn’t having it that the pick up point was for picking up anyone other than taxi passengers and told me to ‘think on before you park there in future’!

At this point I asked her if she’d like to take it up with the actual driver of the car, considering it was him who parked there and she told me to fuck off Grin

BarbaraofSeville · 29/01/2020 14:29

Car parks are for leaving cars parked up and unattended.

If you are not leaving the car unattended you have much greater choice in where you stop.

If you are in the car and there is a shortage of spaces, it is rude and selfish to keep the space when other people are waiting.

I bet all you people who think it is OK to sit in your car when people are waiting also think it is OK to spend ages in a toilet cubicle when there is a queue because you fancied a sit down for a bit.

Changedusername76 · 29/01/2020 14:30

YABU to not signal to them that you aren’t leaving yet. It’s perfectly reasonable for them to assume that you are going to drive off as soon as you get in your car. A friendly gesture that you’re not ready to leave yet would mitigate all the stress leaving you to enjoy your steak bake in peace.