To be honest ( to a degree ) to 3 year old about periods.

[Cinders29]

So, my friend was round the other day ( she is a bit of a prude ) I was on my period and my DD3 went to the toilet and was like 'what's that red in it ?' You know when sometimes a bit is left in the bottom of the toilet anyway, my friend was like 'oh it's just jam!' I didn't disagree DD started asking why jam was in the toilet etc but soon moved on. I spoke to friend later on and explained that I had no problem with my daughter knowing it was blood. She is always asking what my tampons are and I explain that sometimes mummies bleed but it doesn't hurt etc. The reason I had to go into such detail is because a few months ago I had to race downstairs for something and I leaked - on the kitchen floor and of course I had to explain this to her so she wasn't shocked etc. Anyway, she takes it well and I figure I'd rather normalise it ( as it is normal ) so when we come to have the actual conversation in a few years time she's already half prepped.

Anyway, friend was mortified and said it wasn't appropriate etc and now I'm worried I've done the wrong thing.

Just wondering on everyone else's opinion on it.

People who lie about things like this are the ones who end up with terrified, confused teens/tweens. Like those who are taught incorrect names for body parts and then can't disclose abuse because it narrows no sense...

Never worth it. Sorry if that offends, but if it does, wouldn't you feel far worse if, in the future, your child ends up in one of those positions?

My 13 year old has been able to trust me at every turn and completely understood what her periods were and how to handle them. She was also able to clearly and accurately describe when someone touched her inappropriately and it could be dealt with literally instantly!

Do not put your child in the position where these things go wrong, or yourself in the position of regretting getting it wrong and your child coming to harm.

OP, one day, when she is older, your daughter will thank you for being so pragmatic amd practical.

yep, 4yo explanation: every month my body makes a little room called a womb all soft and squishy and comfy with blood in case a baby wants to grow in there. but if a baby doesn't grow my body gets rid of the blood. it can feel a bit achy and squeezy but not sore like a cut.

jam good grief, way to make your child suspect you tell them lies...

@SweetpeaOrMarigold that's a great explanation.

@babdoc that's not a good thing in my book.

I purposefully haven't distracted my DC.

Making it a normal part of life is what I always wanted to do. As it is, in fact, a normal part of life.

Rather them know that at 5yo than be pre-pubescent and think it's something they aren't allowed to ask/talk about.

I agree with you.

I told my children about ‘bum plasters’ when they were very little as if I wasn’t getting time alone on the toilet then they needed to know what was going on!

Mine are all boys by the way, not that it should make a difference, bodily functions for both sexes should be completely demystified.

I completely agree that young children need to know about periods in an age-appropriate way. When DD was little she was glued to my side and followed me to the bathroom all the time. There was no way I could not tell her, and she accepted it as a completely normal fact of life. It got to the point where she would sort through my tampons and ask me, 'What colour do you want for your vagina today, Mummy?'

YANBU at all.... Completely agree an age appropriate message is useful, dd is a toilet clinger so I also have had to explain the blood in a way that makes sense before; she was very worried at one stage. She is now very blasé about it and knows that this is just something normal that happens to grown up ladies when they don’t have babies in their tummies... hopefully the general awareness will make for an easier transition to fully disclose what she needs to know later so she’s prepared and aware of what’s happening to her that day and not freaked out like I was with little to no prep.

I told my kids that it was mummy's body telling her she wasn't having another baby and not to worry about it yet.
Gradually went into more detail if they asked as they got older but kids are fairly accepting of the truth of pit appropriately

Convo with my 5 year old last month, word for word:

(Getting out bath)
DD: Mummy, you've got a blue string hanging out your minny.

Me: Yes, I know.

DD: Oh have you got your red wees again?

Me: Yes I have.

DD: I don't have red wees because I'm not a mummy. I will when I'm older though. I think I will use a plaster. Don't want blue string hanging out my minny!!!

She knows that I have "red wees" once a month and she knows that it's so grown up girls can have babies. I'm not going to sugar coat it. If she asks she will get an age appropriate answer.

@AlbertaWildRose

'What colour do you want for your vagina today, Mummy?'

Nearly wee'd a little bit with that one!! 😂

You did the right thing. Don't mystify it. A simple explanation then change the subject. That way it's absorbed and non dramatic

Ridiculous of people to suggest sheltering children from periods, especially up to age 10. I have 3 DDs and have never upset them or worried them by being honest. It normalises it's so that they hopefully aren't shocked when they start, feel they can come to me for support about it etc.

My son knew in an age appropriate way from about age 4 (I can’t remember exactly how old he was but I vividly remember being asked about it in a sports centre toilet...) At the time he was desperate for a baby sibling and would be sad that it meant I wasn’t having a baby for him!

We're the three of you all in the toilet?

BirdieFriendBadge, I think you’ve confused my post with MintyMabel’s! I was advising parents to be honest with their DC at an age appropriate level - it was MintyMabel who preferred to distract them! As a doctor, I’m all in favour of sex education.

Jam? Ah, presumably your friend occasionally notices that someone has been putting nutella down the toilet?

No, all 3 were not in the toilet. I have a downstairs toilet next to my kitchen ( where me and my friend were ) and she shouted the question out to us.

My son was aware that women bleed sometimes from a very young age. Can't imagine why anyone would make up an absurd explanation for a normal bodily function