Why do middle class people have busier social lives?

[swimmingpoolshower]

Feel I may get flamed here but...
I'm WC, maybe a bit MC cos I went to uni. I am also a part time cleaner for MC families and have lots of MC friends. Why do MC people always have so much going on?

Is it money to be able to do things?
Boredom of doing the same things?
Letting off steam from stressful jobs?

No judgement at all but every weekend is house warming, birthday meals, theatre, trips to museums, and that's when you're not 'away for the weekend.' Centre parcs, Rome, Cotswolds, Air BnB in the city. It's January, everywhere is going to be cold.

I think I'm a bit jealous tbh.

Money, opportunity, time, inclination.

I think it is partly money and partly attitude to money.

DH and SIL are both from WC families and now would be classed as middle class. Both of us have more money. The difference is DH and I are happy to save and not spend our money, so happily potter at weekends and not go out all the time. SIL on the other hand has money but as she works hard feels she deserves to treat herself and spend it, so is forever out for dinner, drinks, weekends away etc.

We both are fortunate enough to have the money to have those options, but it is down to how we view the money and spending/wasting it that also affects what we do socially.

Actually reading other messages, i think money makes it easier but it's also what is your norm and confidence.

I used to have friends round for dinner a lot and would just make the same dinner but get in some wine as the point was to sit around chatting or watch a film together. One of my wealthier middle class friends would do a posher than usual dish because that was her norm. You don't have to do this though, my one pot dinners cost a fiver and people still came.

I consider myself WC, but have a MC job. I have plenty of WC friends who manage to have busy lives doing stuff. So, it isn't just confined to the MC being fortunate. Some people prioritise these things more..it's as simple as that.

Its not just money, pubs used to be very working class places - well for the men at least

thepeopleversuswork I live in a market town in a poor area. Many of the people I know have never lived anywhere but here and their entire families still live here. Amongst my work colleagues many were from all over the UK and also from overseas. We had to socialise with friends as did they because they lived so far from their families. It sort of ties in with your post.

MIndset and thinking ahead. Some money, but not sufficent to say a difference.

The cost of a premier football ticket - the cost of a ticket to an opera?

Walking around an art gallery all afternoon or watching the tv?

Encouraging the children to do soemthing that they will get something out of, or just letting them play?

Eating out costs - whether its each weekend at McD's or once a month at a smarter restaurant - cost = same.

If you can afford a person to "do" for you then it does free up more time. That could be a paid employee, or it could be sharing the chores.

Waht the f is wrong with being middle clas anyway?

Frothybothy, no one said there was anything wrong with it, did they?

And are you trying to say that typically working class and typically middle class activities cost the same? Cos they really really don't.

I grew up middle class but poor (not poverty stricken, just usual eighties levels of skint). My parents lives were packed full of cultural and political interests. They were involved in loads of local pressure groups, and weekends were often spent fundraising, manning stalls or going on protest marches.

They had people round for dinner regularly, they are vegetarian so not expensive food. Then they'd ramble on for hours.

They didn't eat out or go to the theatre, but did loads of cultural stuff locally (book groups, library events, cinema etc).

I think they were probably a good example of middle class activity levels on a very modest budget. They didn't need money to facilitate their interests, as mostly they were free or cheap.

Interesting thread and actually I think you're right op.

I'm definitely more wc now but had a very mc upbringing. My friendship group is very mc. They all do so much more than me with their friends and family. Yes, it's a money thing and also seeing their friends is a more formal event...so will meet in a nice restaurant or invite them round and they entertain 'properly'. So where a wc person might invite someone round to their house and its more casual...the mc person will have set the table, planned a meal of several courses and bought several bottles of good wine. It's easier to entertain in big, well decorated homes.

Since I went to university and have a professional job, I certainly wouldn't consider myself among the working classes anymore

I take the view that if you need to work to keep a roof over your head, you're working class by definition. A literal approach I know.

But it'snot about "class", it's about money. As someone pointed out, other countries absolutely have social levels, and it comes down to how much money you have not who you were born to. And maybe it's easier to be #blessed with all your #lovelyfriends when you have money and can afford to do pastimes where you meet people.

Nothing wrong with MC. I’ve experienced both WC and MC and I much prefer MC.

Some people just can’t sit down and chill for a day. I know middle class families who are always on their feet going somewhere. It’s tiring to just listen to it. Every single hour has to be filled with activities. It’s also about keeping their kids occupied as these children are so used to high end entertainment from an early age that it pushes down their boredom threshold very low.

for some its the pressure of keeping up with the Jones
doing and being seen to do the right things /go to the right places
hanging out with the right people (having them round for dinner / drinks etc)
getting their kids into the right social circles

and of course having the money to do it.....

Time and money, I would say.
We’re MC by education and both have well paying jobs, but taking 3 DC anywhere is very expensive when you factor in entrance, snacks and drinks etc., so big day trips out don’t happen often, and we don’t even know what nipping away for the weekend even is

We were invited round to a person's house who was very working class. When we got there, there was no formal food or drinks set out. We were offered a drink but it was more of an afterthought. Nothing had been cleaned or prepped for our arrival...although it was perfectly hygienic...just baskets of washing left out, which I'd have stuck out of sight of we had people over. No food offered except our host ran into the kitchen and asked us if we wanted a frozen pizza. I'd taken some cakes round...they could have put them on a plate and served them with tea or coffee but this wasn't done either. Main tv was on...Kids in their bedrooms, whereas I'd insist my children were present to say hello. I don't just think it was a money issue...they're wc but not poverty stricken. I just think it's an upbringing thing. They had zero idea how to host. It was completely different to my mc friends. You'd be welcomed in, the place would be prepped for guests...drinks set out, food planned out for the visit, tv off, low level music on.

the mc person will have set the table, planned a meal of several courses and bought several bottles of good wine.
I don’t recognise that scenario at all. MC would be a big pot of chilli con carne on the kitchen table with a bottle of wine or two from the supermarket. But definitely not several courses planned in advance with “good” wine to match and a properly set dining table. That’s a very different beast.

Nothing wrong with being mc but odd assumption that just letting kids play means they aren't getting anything out of it when there is so much evidence of the importance of free play and boredom.

I don’t recognise that scenario at all. MC would be a big pot of chilli con carne on the kitchen table with a bottle of wine or two from the supermarket. But definitely not several courses planned in advance with “good” wine to match and a properly set dining table. That’s a very different beast

Yes, that's a more casual but mc gathering. Main difference is that food and drink has been planned and the host's are hosting if that makes sense...unlike the wc scenario I described.

Honestly this isn't about me, I'm happy with my lot, it's just an observation.
Friends: going to stay with friends is more of a MC thing as these are usually friends made through Uni who tend to be spread all over the place and have larger homes that can accommodate guests.
My mate who went to Oxford has friends everywhere, when she was round the other day a friend rang and asked if she wanted to go stay in their summer house in Stockholm. My friends all tend to live in my hometown and very few have moved out. I think that's to do with working at a younger age, settling down younger, feeling worried about being away from family support network.
This leads me onto my next point;
Confidence: Some WC people seem to lack confidence when it comes to trying new things. My MIL won't go anywhere on her own, she also doesn't drive (I think because she didn't work when her DS's were young so they couldn't afford two cars.) Their whole side of the family seem to have a pack mentality where everyone has to do everything together. It drives me bonkers! NT property visits, everyone's there, sisters, cousins, nans! We have to all agree on what to eat, when to eat, what to see first, what route we're driving. This might just be a very niche example but I do think that lacking in confidence is a big motivator in not trying new things.
Money: I'm skint. I know there are a lot of free activities but they always cost something. We have a great musuem in town but the problem is that it's in town, with all the shops, bakeries, ice cream parlours. It's not for everyone constantly saying 'no' to your dc's and I think that is also a class thing. Saying no because you're trying to teach your kids about money and not spoiling them feels very different to saying no because you've got £2 in your bank account.

Just opinions!

Agree. It's money. I'd love to go out but when you're living on £150 a week for food/petrol/everything else, there's no way I'm going to blow £100 on a visit to somewhere.

Not all mc are well off - time you take off the mortgage and monthly bills, it doesn't always leave a lot spare for much else.

Friends: going to stay with friends is more of a MC thing as these are usually friends made through Uni who tend to be spread all over the place and have larger homes that can accommodate guests

This is definitely true.

"I take the view that if you need to work to keep a roof over your head, you're working class by definition. A literal approach I know."

Gosh, I really don't think many people would define it as such. That would mean 99% of the country are working class which is obviously not true.

I think it's money, but also a very high emphasis placed on fitting in and doing what's expected of you. Very mc people don't tend to have the kinds of showdowns and relationship explosions that I've had in my life which mean i have a very limited number of people to do stuff with, even if i had the money. It's been more important to me over the yeats to be honest with myself when people are unpleasant to be around than to put on a stiff upper lip and carry on putting up with their shit for the sake of appearances. (Which tends to be the only acceptable MC thing to do).