Why do middle class people have busier social lives?

[swimmingpoolshower]

Feel I may get flamed here but...
I'm WC, maybe a bit MC cos I went to uni. I am also a part time cleaner for MC families and have lots of MC friends. Why do MC people always have so much going on?

Is it money to be able to do things?
Boredom of doing the same things?
Letting off steam from stressful jobs?

No judgement at all but every weekend is house warming, birthday meals, theatre, trips to museums, and that's when you're not 'away for the weekend.' Centre parcs, Rome, Cotswolds, Air BnB in the city. It's January, everywhere is going to be cold.

I think I'm a bit jealous tbh.

My dh comes from a far wealthier background than me and his ideal day would be sitting in his pants watching TV

Sleveen I've come across this attitude before. I can sort of understand that but there seems to be this weird double standard with tv and books: ie books are a waste of time and self-indulgent but tv is ok which I don't understand.

Surely if you think anything non-essential is self-indulgent that would apply to all leisure activities, not just typically middle class ones?

I do think that money is a key factor.

An acquaintance of mine that seems to have the busiest social life is someone that married a very wealthy man, therefore she can afford the overnight posh hotel stays, European city minibreaks, tickets to balls, galas and other charity events, a private chef to cater for dinner parties at her house, etc.

Money definitely a factor, also maybe wider social opportunities and connections.

I disagree about money being a factor, it is about having a home tidy enough to receive visits at a moment’s notice. Also, the more visits you have, the easier it gets to have people around.

My social life was massively increased after I split with my exH/lost the cleaner. The house was tidier for the reason there was no one making an unreasonable mess of it. So if I started talking to a neighbour while I was working in the garden it was easy to just say “come in for a coffee” while before I would have just continued chattering over the fence.

I think money can be a factor. If you’re on the bones of your arse and completely skint; everything in life is more difficult

@BringOnTheBotox. I think your friend sounds quite unusual. Most folk I know couldn’t afford any of that, but still have very full weekends

Well obviously you need money to be able to indulge in those activities but I think it’s actually driven by a need to feel busy and successful in your personal life as much as in your work life. There’s a need to feel a sense of achievement even from leisure time.

Once your establish a friendship group with the same ideals the invitations and opportunities just flood in.

It’s not a case of there being just 1 factor which explains it, but a number, which are inter-linked and play different roles (sounds like the intro to an essay)

Money is definitely in there, if as an underlying or longer term background reason. It feeds into ability to pay for the drudgery to be done, creating more time for leisure and funds the activities. It opens doors to opportunities which open the mind and change attitudes and to meeting people who want to engage in similar activities, which can then lead to a snowballing social circle or access to more opportunities. Money is somewhere in the early stages of an upwards virtuous cycle and keeps it moving rather than stalling.

Somewhere along the line, attitudes become ingrained, so even without money, remain for a while - think the genteel poor - the stretched middle class who had an affluent background but now can’t afford the riding lessons or private school fees for their own kids, still value highly going to the library or meeting friends for picnics and doing the 11+.

Of course we have to make gross generalisations when talking about this. Peoples social lives and extent of them is determined by their personality type and a range of other factors and there are always those who don’t fit patterns, but broadly speaking, in terms of the millions, class (meaning background experience of money, education and attitudes - my definition here) does play a role.

I disagree about money being a factor, it is about having a home tidy enough to receive visits at a moment’s notice.

Seriously? You think that middle-class people busier social lives because they have cleaners, hence tidier houses, because the key to a better social life is being able to ask people to come to your house at no notice, and you can only do that if it's tidy?

I think that's one of the odder things I've read on here.

@Naomh I think that poster was just projecting their own experience rather than looking the the concept as a whole.

I'm happy not socialising. Don't get me wrong I love a day out somewhere with my family but the thought of every weekend being taken up with doing something would exhaust me. I love weekends where I have absolutely nothing to do but lounge around the house. I enjoy my own company and can happily read or watch TV without speaking to anyone. I did all the socialising I wanted to in my youth.

it is about having a home tidy enough to receive visits at a moment’s notice

Don't think it's this as such, but having a large well decorated home makes entertaining much easier.

For example, if you have a huge gorgeous trendy kitchen with a massive table and an island unit and a wine fridge plus a guest bedroom with an ensuite, it is a far more pleasant experience to have people round than if you have a galley kitchen, one bathroom and not even a sofa bed.

I have the money to do lots of things but increasingly I'm doing less and less, and enjoying what I do more and more.

I find that the options for leisure time (if you can afford it) are quite overwhelming and can all sound desirable. e.g. I find myself thinking, I'd love to see that band, film, play, go to italy/london for weekends, go out for meals with xyz, try new bars, go to galleries, have brunch, go away with female friends, take up horse riding, go on a yoga retreat, do paddle boarding etc etc.

But I'm beginning to wise up and realise that although each of those 'activities' would be nice, doing all of them is torture, as what I often really want is to be in my lovely home alone, or just with immediate family, and watch TV, or potter and organise my drawers, or make a play list, or have a bath, or MN in my pyjamas etc etc and all the incessant planning of activities can mean that I haven't in the past actually spent my time how I'd really want.

So I now try to have a balance. And recognise, whilst that activity/trip/event sounds lovely, and I could afford it...I'm going to say no as you can't do everything and still enjoy it.

I know this is privileged position, but it's taken me a while to work out how best to use it.

it is about having a home tidy enough to receive visits at a moment’s notice.

Of course, because all working class people are sletterns who live in a hovel and all middle class people are spotlessly tidy.

Obvious answer is more money!!!

Pmsl at the idea that working class people have untidy houses. My WC family and friends have much cleaner and tidier houses than my MC family and friends

@Dylaninthemovies1 definitely! WC homes are immaculate. I even know one woman who doesn't let her toddler eat anything except beige or white foods because of the fear of stains.
Did anyone ever notice that the hoarders on that clean house, dirty house programme were usually much more intelligent than the super clean ones? Just an observation.

It's not about cleanliness or tidiness...it's about having the space and furniture to accommodate guests. Large dining table, plenty of seating...spare bedrooms, extra bathrooms, large garden with garden furniture etc

WC homes are immaculate.
I was brought up WC. As in any class, the houses of those I knew varied from immaculate to filthy. This notion of working class homes being immaculate is a fallacy in my experience.