Why do middle class people have busier social lives?

[swimmingpoolshower]

Feel I may get flamed here but...
I'm WC, maybe a bit MC cos I went to uni. I am also a part time cleaner for MC families and have lots of MC friends. Why do MC people always have so much going on?

Is it money to be able to do things?
Boredom of doing the same things?
Letting off steam from stressful jobs?

No judgement at all but every weekend is house warming, birthday meals, theatre, trips to museums, and that's when you're not 'away for the weekend.' Centre parcs, Rome, Cotswolds, Air BnB in the city. It's January, everywhere is going to be cold.

I think I'm a bit jealous tbh.

@TwiddleMuff Alright, chill out.

More money and more time.
WC now often work incredibly long hours to make ends meet, while UpperC have very demanding jobs with long hours as the expectation.

Personal preference, we were "upper middle class" by the definition but had very quiet lives because stbexh was boring and dd is autistic. My life is far busier now, because I choose to be

When I didn't have much money I had to say no to a lot of things. Now I'm much better off financially I can say yes to more things and host a lot more things

I am pretty sure it has been found that people who move away from family networks (likely to be higher earners) have more socially isolated lives and fewer social and support networks

I'd have thought the reverse. If you don't have family networks around you, you need to create them for yourself. I have a couple of friends who were born in the place where I live (everyone else is an incomer). The 'incomers' are much more open to doing things together than those who have local family. The latter tend to keep themselves to themselves.

Perfectly chill, thanks @LoveIsLovely. In fact your mansplaining about societal divides amongst this general handwringing "am I middle class" posts have made my evening!

I think you hit the nail on the head with the social media thing. The majority of people I know seem to have formed a habit of documenting and showing off every event/activity/holiday these days. I’ve been on days/nights out over the years that have been borderline disastrous but have friends who will make out it was the best time ever on social media.

I don’t have social media anymore and while I still go out (not all the time) it’s quite nice not having pressure to post anything.

Not convinced by the social media thing. I don't have social media, and neither do my friends. It's not very middle class to do social media, especially not if you're over 40 (as I am, sadly).

I think money equals choice. DH both work in financial services, so in order to do the jobs we do, we have a lady to iron and a lady to clean and 2 guys to take care of the garden and a full time nanny, who works 55 hours a week Monday to Friday and a babysitter every second Saturday night, so we can go out for dinner.

I bought memberships to everywhere like National Trust, Transport Museum, RHS gardens, Royal Historic Palaces etc, so our DC have lots of options for outings.

And when they go to classes, they make more friends, which I suppose expands a circle of people to meet out and about.

Also, I don’t like staying in. I spend so much time in an office in a formal environment, I need to be outside and seeing people and being busy on the weekends. I need to plan at least a weekend ahead, as there’s such little free time. Usually we’ll spend a weekend morning at home playing, but otherwise we’re out somewhere.

P.s. I’ve got a steam mop. I loved it for about a month and used it every night before bed, but I soon went back to using a mop, as I like cleaning the kitchen every evening after cooking dinner and the steam mop became a bit of a faff to get out every night.

It's accessibility as well as money. When my oldest two were my only two. We didn't have much money but would go into the our city grab a bag of cheese straws and a bag of yums yums from the bakery along with drinks from home.
Hit one of the museums/galleries which were either free or a pay once and gift aid get in for free all year or an event going on in town.
Then Sunday would be pack a picnic and off to the big local park. Raincoats and wellies if needed.
We were never in.

Nowadays I live in a place that has a lot less going on so we spend Saturdays at home building lego and baking and pop out most Sundays usually to the supermarket as there is bugger all else to do.

If I lived somewhere like London I would always be planning something to do and our weekends would be filled.

Is it just about money though? You also need the friends to do a lot of these things. Ok anyone can go to a museum or the family can go away for the weekend, but things like housewarmings or dinner parties - you can only do those if you have the people to do them with.

I would consider myself mc I guess. Sahm, enough money to have a holiday each year etc etc BUT we don't have much going on at all socially! Kids don't do clubs at weekend as we like it as family, I don't employ a cleaner as couldn't really afford or justify it as sahm I suppose. My house is tidy enough but never perfect as that's family life! I think social media is to blame mainly as we would never normally know what people's houses look like/what holidays they've been on/what they've been up to.

@TwiddleMuff It's called a discussion, you may encounter that if you participate on a discussion board.

Really interesting thread. I'm sure sociologists are all over this like a rash, but I haven't seen/heard anything.
Anyway, I agree with OP to an extent. I think Working class people can be equally busy but in these days of social media they're not doing the sorts of things deemed shareable. Ie going down the pub or whatever (sorry if I'm stereotyping), whereas a ski trip or outing to a botanical garden (both spenny thiings to do) with the kids is v Instagram able.
My experience growing up with wc parents who were 'rising' through their efforts in business is that they never went out really, and certainly never with us! Me and DH are thoroughly MC - post grad educated with friends who are doctors and professionals but also farmers and fishermen) is that we go out a little more and it tends to be en famille
Yes, really interesting thread

We grew up MC but was by no means wealthy. Alot of focus was placed on having a good education, being ambitious and driven.

Dh and I are always 'busy' doing all of the things you say op.
Right now we have planned 2 big holidays planned among other things. So working backwards we need to have certain things in place for that to happen.
Alot of it does come down to money, but then to have money you need to have a good income, from a good education. Well that's what's worked for us, not saying everybody will have the same thinking.

I’m not entirely sure it’s always true - we are MC by education/current position but have very little social life’s week in week out yet my family - all very much WC - spend every weekend doing something different. We tend to save to do bigger things whereas they spend little and often.

People declaring themselves MC because they -

Went to uni
Go to museums
Have dinner party’s
Have picnics
SAHP
Have a nice holiday every year

You do realise WC people do this too..

PGtips, how do you define middle class then?

Since I went to university and have a professional job, I certainly wouldn't consider myself among the working classes anymore.

Shrug. Perhaps you have a different definition.

I disagree about the money aspect, although I think it certainly helps.

It’s the need and want to “see and be seen” as middle class/wealthy , therefore doing lots of middle class things

I think it’s the ability to pay for more experiences and also a thirst for new experiences. Also why they want to do certain things, whether it’s keeping in with their acquaintances if it’s a social thing or feeling enriched culturally by going to the theatre, whatever. They have the money and the inclination.

When I had disposable income I would always be out. Now it’s gone I settle for wandering about in my pyjamas and eating biscuits.

A lot of it is to do with money.

My DF and DSM are middle class, step mum is always out for lunch with friends and hosting dinner parties/drinks in the garden, they have the money to do that where as I can only afford to eat out once a month and can’t afford do host a party (and haven’t got the room). They also go on holiday a lot and take part in activities and days out. All of these things cost money.

.

I'm not convinced OP, I'm very MC but we have no social life. My WC friends and colleagues have way more nights out and weekends away!

It’s the need and want to “see and be seen” as middle class/wealthy , therefore doing lots of middle class things

Very much disagree. I could care less about being seen somewhere. I care more about something existing and wanting to experience that too.

Of course its purely money. Social gatherings take money- going out, taxis, buying drinks/dinner, buying outfits to wear, buying housewarming gifts, charity events etc all involve money.

If you have barely enough to pay for your own heating in the winter, you aren't going to have cash to spend to put on a dinner party to entertain people are you? and you aren't going to spend cash on going on evenings out to the theatre, cocktail parties, galas etc if a tin of baked beans is your evening dinner.