To ask a sex offender not to attend

[Pondlife87]

I have recently found out a sex offender teaches an exercise class I teach. He has served time for secretly filming women in the shower and on the toilet, and for having indecent (classified as severe) photos of children on his computer. It has made me feel very vulnerable. What would you do?

Pornography suggest consent has been given by all parties. Children cannot consent. Calling child rape and abuse porn lowers the seriousness in many peoples eyes (not suggesting yours PP!) and contributes to the gradual acceptance of such things.

Disappointing to still see child 'porn' being used to address imagery of disgusting abuse.

OP I would have to take it further, for the women in your class- he could have a camera on him and all sorts. As you have evidence of his SO registration I would communicate to centre mgmt you wont have him at the class and why- then contact the non emergency no. for advice in case he is breaking any conditions of his arrest. Frankly he can fuck off and do his bloody yoga at home, can't he

How did you find out?

The OP has already answered that @Blurby .

And I would definitely not attend if I knew a man with convictions like that was there, and I would be telling you why. I wouldnt be blaming you but I would want you to know that this is an issue that could potentially lead you to losing clients.

I guess the reponsibilty for who makes the decision on this depends on the arrangements for the class - if this is a yoga class run by the leisure centre and you are employed albeit on a self-employed basis to teach then this must be handed over to the leisure centre to deal with. So if you are paid a flat fee by the leisure centre and if you stopped they would just employ someone else.

If you hire the leisure centre and run the class then this is your responsibility and your decision. So if you pay rent for the hall hire and keep all the money paid for classes. As long as you are not discriminating against someone for a protected characteristic then you can refuse entry to your class to anyone you choose. I suspect most people in your class would leave if they found out and realised you knew.

But I'm not sure how you know - do you google everyone who attends your class for newspaper articles or was there a reason you looked up this guy - because if you knew already it stands to reason other people will as well so it will come out eventually.

If you are employed by the leisure centre though this would be their decision - but you would hope they would take your feelings into account.

Either way I would discuss it with the centre manager as they are responsible for a venue that presumably has changing rooms etc and you may need their support if there is any backlash.

Really difficult one, you say he served time therefore paid his debt, what could a gym do?
Also yoga is often sexualised, but usually only by people who don’t practice it.
I totally understand that it’s making you uncomfortable, I’m a yoga teacher too, but it was made very clear, by my Swami during training that if someone asks you to teach them yoga then you do. Without judgement. In a vedantic sense he is burning karma.
I would suggest that you talk it over with your guru, I think they will be able to help you. 🙏

Even if he isn’t filming anyone he’ll be getting a chance to see them up close and personal in all sorts of interesting positions. I’d tell him to leave. If everyone else found out you’d have no class to teach.

Maybe bring it up with the owner/manager of the venue you teach at? Explain the situation? I would be very uncomfortable knowing a sex offender was attending the same class as me

Slightly off topic, but why is it that some people think it's ok to be scathing to others when they use the wrong terminology re child abuse / pornography?
If you feel someone needs educating on why we use the term abuse, then please, can't you do so without being so awful? I can picture some of you shouting at your phone whilst typing ferociously. If I use outdated or incorrect terminology I'm happy for you to point it out, but please don't be so aggressive.

I think we all get why we should be calling it child abuse and not porn. Show some kindness peeps!

I agree that I would feel very uncomfortable too but unfortunately he has legally paid his dues and unless his release conditions prevent it (in which case he’d be very stupid) then there is nothing you or the gym can do. I am also unclear as to how you know though - what made you google him? Local gossip presumably.

And totally agreed with Soontobe60 - stop being so aggressive to people who use outdated terminology. Honestly, it’s so rude - correct and explain in a nice way and then people will take it on board. Not knowing something is not being thick. And also just to say thank goodness this thread didn’t get derailed into the ‘he’ll identify as a woman’ blah blah. I am beyond fed up with it.

What are the changing and toilet facilities like at the leisure centre? Are they mixed sex or single sex?

It’s not just the changing facilities though is it, I know when I did Pilates which is similar there was an awful lot of leg stretching and when the class was full you’re mat wasn’t a million miles away from the next persons leg stretching.

I wouldn’t want a sex offender that close to my groin.

For those of you asking how i know - he invited me to a group he attends, so I wanted to know about him first.
Thanks everyone x

"Teaching this class is my livelihood. I need it to be popular or I don't eat. I realise that you have done your time and have a right to live your life but the fact is that it's very easy to find our who you are and what you've done from online info, and if the other attendees in the class find out then they won't feel safe and will stop coming, and then I don't have a livelihood. you need a men-only yoga class, this class cannot accommodate you."

I don't blame you for not wanting the despicable beast there.

However if his conviction is spent then it could it not be seen as discrimination if you exclude him.

I would not want to attend a yoga class where this creep was in attendance and possibly getting his cheap kicks. One way or another, he needs to be booted out.

There's nothing in the world that says it's illegal to discriminate against someone for this reason. Discriminate away. More people should.

Is he your only male attendee? If he is and you don't want the difficult conversation, you could tell him you are becoming a female only group.

Telling someone child porn is actually child abuse nicely? Ok I will accept that but they came back to defend their position that is unacceptable this is not a graze on the knee being exaggerated FFS

As a Polpotnoodle has also asked. What 'criminal justice records' did you check OP ?

@PlumsGalore I was suggesting a sweep of all toilets and changing areas for cameras will be necessary

I love my yoga class, but I would stop attending if I knew a convicted SO was in the room. Happy baby pose next to someone who thinks voyerism is OK? No thanks!

Protect your livelihood and your other clients OP

You need to find a way to get him out before your other clients find out about him or you will soon find he's your only client. No way would I attend a class with a known SO. Have a word with gym management. They could lose clients overall if and when people find out, so it's in their interest to prevent him setting foot in their gym.

I don't know why people think porn implies all parties have consented. I looked up a definition of pornography and this one is typical.

printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate sexual excitement.

Nothing there suggests consent by all parties, what about adults who are forced to perform if you are implying that the children are innocent but adults are culpable I don't think that is fair.

It is pornography and the children, and often adults, involved are abused. It doesn't have to be either or.