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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask a sex offender not to attend

130 replies

Pondlife87 · 28/01/2020 21:46

I have recently found out a sex offender teaches an exercise class I teach. He has served time for secretly filming women in the shower and on the toilet, and for having indecent (classified as severe) photos of children on his computer. It has made me feel very vulnerable. What would you do?

OP posts:
spatchcock · 28/01/2020 22:54

"fwiw, one of the local delivery guys has a record for looking at child porn. I don't mind him delivering my parcels. He's got to make a living."

Gross. I would mind - very much. That's completely horrible and I'm surprised he has a job where he's likely to come into contact with children. And it's not "child porn". It's child abuse.

TheProdigalKittensReturn · 28/01/2020 22:55

Agreed with the suggestions to report the situation to both the leisure center and the police. If neither do anything I'd be tempted to take aside and warn every woman in the class. Which I'm sure someone is about to tell me is illegal, but I can't say I care much about the rights of sex offenders to have their reputations protected.

TwiddleMuff · 28/01/2020 22:55

"Thinking about what I wear when I do yoga and the nature of it, I'd stop attending if I know there was a predator present who filmed women in intimate / vulnerable positions. And I'd bet many (possibly most) of your other attendees would."

Me too. I actually think you have a responsibility to the women in your class to tell them (although I acknowledge that this man is not in any way YOUR responsibility).

1forsorrow · 28/01/2020 22:55

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MillennialPink · 28/01/2020 22:56

@Uncompromisingwoman I totally agree. I definitely wouldn't want to unroll my yoga mat next to a sex offender

TheMustressMhor · 28/01/2020 22:57

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okiedokieme · 28/01/2020 23:01

It's essential you check to see if he's on the SO registry or if it's spent - you could be sued for discrimination etc if he's no longer on the register.

I can see why you are uncomfortable but you need to protect yourself and do a full risk assessment before you approach him

okiedokieme · 28/01/2020 23:03

We had a situation at work and took legal advice, being on the SO register wasn't sufficient to ban him, just not to allow him to volunteer etc

1forsorrow · 28/01/2020 23:04

How could she be sued? Being a sex offender isn't a protected characteristic is it, disabled, religion, age, sex and sex offender?

SirVixofVixHall · 28/01/2020 23:05

TheMustressMor yes, indeed. Then he will have easy access to the changing rooms, loos etc.

Emmelina · 28/01/2020 23:18

Speak to the leisure centre manager for advice, and perhaps call 101 for their advice also. Not to report him as such, but that you run a yoga class and it has come to your attention that a male attendee has in the past been put on the register for voyeurism and having indecent images of children on his computer, so for your safety and your other clients you need advice how to deal with it etc.
As others have said, if he’s still on the register he will have conditions applied to his freedom which if he breaks may lead to him being sent down. They probably won’t be at liberty to advise you of these, but they will pay him a visit if he has beoken them, or may advise him it’s inappropriate to attend yoga. Good luck!

MyDcAreMarvel · 28/01/2020 23:20

Wouldn't photographs of a child being abused be pornographic? I mean it is both isn't it.
They are classed as images of child abuse, not child pornography.

flowerpot6 · 28/01/2020 23:21

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Emmelina · 28/01/2020 23:25

OP corrected her typos further down @flowerpot6 - the guy attends a class she teaches, he doesn’t teach it.

flowerpot6 · 28/01/2020 23:28

@emmelina ah, right ok, I didn't realise - thanks for letting me know. I wouldn't think you can stop anybody attending a public class?

RoomR0613 · 28/01/2020 23:28

flowerpot6 OP has clarified he attends the class not teaches it

flowerpot6 · 28/01/2020 23:29

@RoomR0613 thanks - sorry I did read the thread, but somehow missed this... I blame the 3 month old and sleep deprivation!

Iambloodystarving · 28/01/2020 23:32

bloody hell - there is no such thing as child pornography. Are we still struggling with this idea???FFS

glitterfarts · 28/01/2020 23:41

Can you just make the class for females only?
Then he has to leave it. My skin would be crawling.

PawPawNoodle · 28/01/2020 23:47

Which 'criminal justice records' did you check?

kateandme · 29/01/2020 00:11

your doing a class for people wellbeing and then this....no.tht is awful

Langbannedforsafeguardingkids · 29/01/2020 00:29

If you tell all the other attendees of the class, enough of them will probably stop going that you can shut down that class. Then maybe start up another one and ensure he doesn't hear about it (maybe just invite those from the original class).

I wouldn't want to attend a class with someone who has contributed to child abuse (by possessing / buying the images he is doing this) and also been convicted of voyeurism and filming women. I think the other attendees really have the right to know.

Thinkingabout1t · 29/01/2020 00:32

OP, I would give up attending a yoga class if I knew a man like that took part in it. I don't believe he's there for the exercise. Violating women's privacy is bad enough. But paying adults to sexually abuse children - which is how child pornography is made is truly evil.

I'm sorry I don't know how you can deal with it. But please do let management at the gym know. Aren't there certain conditions a sex offender has to meet?

Thinkingabout1t · 29/01/2020 00:35

I didn't mean to cross out "which is how child pornography is made". Anyone paying for child pornography is hiring someone to carry out child abuse.

midwestfornow · 29/01/2020 00:43

one of the local delivery guys has a record for looking at child porn.

One of the local delivery guys has been part of the sexual abuse of children.

People who view view child abuse images are part of the child abuse process, they create demand for child abuse, which is then recorded and put out on the internet for all time.
Imagine knowing images of you being sexually abused were recorded and put out for all time on the internet.
It is a very heavy burden to ask young people to manage.