Who wants a whole street parking thread? Bring popcorn, it's a long one!

[originalcatlady]

See diagram below. I WFH and have no life but I'm pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!

House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.
House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting "who's is this?" and similar nonsense.
House C, one car but not usually home, so is either forced to park in space X or further along from X, where there are two spaces in front of a garage.
House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3.
House E, house with drive.
House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4.
House G, H, I, J have drives.
House K have two cars and no drive. They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks house Gs drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4. I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.
House L, house with drive (me).
House M, drive but no car.
House N, house with drive.

Houses B, F, G and M frequently have street gossips/meetings/bitching sessions declaring that people who haven't lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can't just park where they like etc etc.

So, if you're still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no shits about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.

This is a quality thread. Supposed to be writing an academic paper but I’m going to read through it now. Excellent diagram, OP, btw.

Workman getting tools from van.

B: what are you doing, how long will you be there
Just doing some work why
B: you're too close to my car

Wait for the best answer ever....

Yes but am I touching?

I can't breathe 🤣🤣🤣

Too close to the car of the woman who will park on people's bumpers? She but be one of the most self deluded hypocrites I've ever heard of.

Ha I love van man

Shameless place marking. This is stopping me working. Hilarious.

What was her response? Was it a tut and flounce?

Too close to her car???

Move forward then and stop parking like a twat.

Are K just getting their friends with vans round on purpose? 😂

Today's van went to M.

She kind of stuttered and went red and stomped back in. She's still watching.

C is double parked further down, sitting in her car waiting.

Is B wearing her pink dressing gown?

B is completely unhinged. Now here's the big question: What type of car does she drive? I have seen so many instances of small cars taking up two spaces at once, it's almost unreal.
Also, it's people like her who give female drivers a bad name.

So have B&C ever come to blows or has it always been passive aggressive?

I do think you need to make an excuse to go round and speak to K, show her you're onside!

Got hooked on this last night when feeding baby. Cannot believe some people 🙈🙈

Mrs K is definitely lurking on this thread somewhere, yesterday the black VW, today a van - though that might be one of the other MN on this thread.

Oh so Mrs M is on here too, probably found gransnet not edgy enough for her.

I used to live on an excellent road opposite a school and church in the middle of a historic village with a narrow main road. There was also a row of parked cars outside the church, taking it down to one lane. At school run time it was carnage, with SUVs, buses and commuters all fighting for space. Sometimes they would all get out and shout at each other. We used to watch from the top windows.

I'm bringing my incontinent jack Russell too. She likes the look of b's doorstep

How is B going to resolve this one seeing as M is one of her parking allies?

Yes she's in her pink dressing gown.

It's a Peugeot 206.

It's always been passive aggressive. But it's a funny one. They are the only ones that seem mates in all this. Like I've heard them say "got your text" and B chats to C's DC. It's like a competition with those two of who gets to use 2 (properly in the case of C!). But it's like parking is the elephant in the room if they ever chatted.

I don't think she will seek to resolve this after

YES BUT IS IT TOUCHING

Best thing I've heard all year.

B has come out again in her pink dressing gown? Can she not even be arsed to get dressed? I used to have a Peugeot 206 - easiest car in the world to park (in a small space too).

I de-lurking to let you know that “yes but is it touching?” is the best thing I’ve read this week so far. Might possibly become my new username 😂

Bins on the road. If they do this check your council's web site, here it's bins out only on the day of collection otherwise they're causing an obstruction.

I think we need to adopt white van man - he seems like he has the measure of B (I'm sure he is well used to prickly parking people, seeing as he has to park a random white van on people's streets each day).

Love this thread OP - please keep it going. I too WFH and mostly at the kitchen table which looks out on the street - I jokingly refer to myself as the neighbourhood watch!!!

Haha see. It's just our equivalent of office gossip!