Leaving DS home alone

[ThisIsNotADrillLangCleg]

My DS 8 was off school sick today. He was fine last night but didn't sleep well and woke up with a sore throat and a temperature. Tonsils were swollen as well so I kept him off school. I literally had no milk or bread in the house at all and needed to go to the shop. I asked DS to come with me but he wanted to stay in bed.

He'd had paracetamol and his temp was under control. He was tucked up in my bed watching TV. I set up the I pad and face timed him from my phone downstairs, then spoke to him the whole time I was gone. He was happy and confident. He promised not to get out of bed. I could see him, he could see me and was happily chatting to me/laughing at Scooby Doo. I was gone 11 minutes.

This is ok isn't it? DH thinks I should just have waited for him to get home from work at 6.30pm. I've never left DS before but felt in these circumstances it was acceptable. Is it really that selfish to want a cup of tea? AIBU?

I would’ve gone and not FaceTimed!

Not sure why you are both worried!

Bit different if he’s throwing up.

I've only just started leaving my 10 year old home alone for 10 minutes so I wouldn't have done it at 8 but I might be on the cautious side

At 8 I would have left DS2 home alone for 10 minutes while I popped to the shop because I trusted him and he was happy for me to leave him. DS1 would not have been happy for me to leave him alone at 8 so I didn't. What you describe sounds totally fine to me.

I would have done the same assuming my child was happy to be left.

11 minutes? Unless there are issues that you haven't mentioned, as long as he was ok with it I don't see a problem. I wouldn't have done the facetime thing though.

I'm sure you are out in the garden or kitchen or wherever without him in sight for longer than that when you're both at home

Absolutely fine OP.

Yes I absolutely would have done. If he was in bed watching telly and you were only gone 10 mins, then there's no problem. Bugger waiting all day for a cup of tea and a sandwich!

I'd have left him and not even thought about FaceTiming!

He’s fine and you had a valid reason. God, my mother used to leave me home alone from 6 year old, to go to town with my sister shopping.. but that’s another story

Of course it’s ok. I wouldn’t have even FaceTimed

Fine in those circumstances as a one off. I didn’t start leaving until 10 but I can see why you did it.

Nope I think 8 is too young.

It depends on maturity in my opinion rather than age. I could have left my DN home alone from 5 as she listened and Was very responsible - in fact I often would leave her downstairs with her younger brother and food out and available while I worked from home upstairs. My eldest DN who is 18 is still so irresponsible he doesn’t even have a key and his mum arranges for family to sit with him even if be has to be left alone for an hour.

It's fine

Totally fine, I do this regularly with my 8 yr old so we can practice safety rules and he can gradually experience independence.

Absolutely fine. In fact (though I knew they were mature enough) I'd have done the same without FaceTime when my daughters were that age.

Hells teeth, what a lot of fuss over nothing. He’s 8, if he can’t be left for 10 minutes without all this fuss you need to up your game. Your DH 🙄

Perfectly fine, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. He was happy and tucked up, yiu were able to get essentials

8 is a bit on the young side, but you needed to go out, it was a very short time and he was safely tucked up in bed.

I would have done the same - without the facetiming and talking on my phone all the time I was out.

Yes as long as he was happy to be left. Probably wouldn't have FaceTimed!
My own mother left me in similar circs when I was younger than 8. That said that was in rural north wales.

My DS is 8 almost 9 and I've just started leaving him for a few minutes. Twice so far. The other day ds2 and DH were on a walk , it started pissing it down just as they were about to come up the big hill so I popped down to get them.

I think it's fine, you know how well your child can cope.

We have a few things in place. DS has our phone number in case something happens. He knows not to answer the door or pick up the phone. If the phone goes, he calls us straight back in case we're trying to get hold of him.

Thanks everyone for your comments. DH has asked me not to do it again. Obviously it's a one off and not something I would be doing every week any way, but I felt it was reasonable. DS is sensible and I do trust him. The FaceTime I think was more for my reassurance, it was good to be able to see that he was still ok and exactly where I left him.

DH thought it was illegal to leave him, and now believes it should be illegal. But how else do you allow a child to be independent and confident if you don't do things like this? Obviously only if it's age appropriate and and only if the child is comfortable with it too.

For goodness sake what is it with these threads?

Yes of course it was ok, although the Facetiming was ridiculous and probably made him feel like there's something he should be scared about.

I woudn't have done it but I don't think that you were unreasonable to do it, you were available on Facetime and so on. If your DH doesn't like how you do it then tell him he can stay at home next time your DS is off sick.

Too young.