Leaving DS home alone

[ThisIsNotADrillLangCleg]

My DS 8 was off school sick today. He was fine last night but didn't sleep well and woke up with a sore throat and a temperature. Tonsils were swollen as well so I kept him off school. I literally had no milk or bread in the house at all and needed to go to the shop. I asked DS to come with me but he wanted to stay in bed.

He'd had paracetamol and his temp was under control. He was tucked up in my bed watching TV. I set up the I pad and face timed him from my phone downstairs, then spoke to him the whole time I was gone. He was happy and confident. He promised not to get out of bed. I could see him, he could see me and was happily chatting to me/laughing at Scooby Doo. I was gone 11 minutes.

This is ok isn't it? DH thinks I should just have waited for him to get home from work at 6.30pm. I've never left DS before but felt in these circumstances it was acceptable. Is it really that selfish to want a cup of tea? AIBU?

I leave my 9 year old home alone to take his 11year old sister to a music class. I am gone 5-15 minutes.

It all depends on how sensible the child is. I wouldn't let the 11 year old go by herself but the 9 year old is sensible enough to be left by himself. Knows not to answer the door but back door left unlocked in case of fire.

11 minutes? I'm in the shower longer than that! I saw another thread recently on here about kids having no independence these days and most of the posters were saying they were out playing in the streets/fields/woods/rivers etc for hours at that age. Assuming the house doesn't have faulty wiring, with irons and chip pans plugged into overloaded sockets and your son is not anxious to be left without you, I don't think I would worry too much about an 8yo tucked up in bed at home for 11 minutes (but my DC is still little so I can't say for sure!).

A typical 8 year old would be fine to leave a short time in those circumstances.

No need to FaceTime either.

Absolutely fine at junior age, they have to start learning independence. Year 6 walk to school on their own in our village & I regularly see children of 9& 10 buying sweets at the corner shop or at the park together without parents.
My niece is y5 and has been allowed to call on her friend who lives near by since last summer.

@Fivetillmidnight, your post made me chuckle...

"as a law enforcement officer ... tell your DH to piss off !" 😂😂

Literally in the small village where I live if the 8 year old wasnt poorly and there was no bread or milk in the house, the 8 year old would be the one sent to the shop. On their own.(It's in the middle of the village no more than 5 mins from any home, lots and lots of footpaths and safe walking routes).

Fine. I didn't leave my eldest until he'd just turned 9 (then it was 20 min while I collected his younger brother), but he'd have been OK at 8 for ten minutes. I've found 8 the age at which I've felt comfortable giving more independence overall (introducing walking home from school alone, popping down the road to a shop, that sort of thing).

Sorry if I've missed a PP, but when would your dh consider it OK to do what you did?

My eldest DN who is 18 is still so irresponsible he doesn’t even have a key and his mum arranges for family to sit with him even if be has to be left alone for an hour.

There has to be a reason surely?
If not are they going to go to work with him too?
If there are no medical reasons for him needing supervised then thats insane.

I think it's down to the individual child. Your 8 year old sounds independent and sensible, so no problem at all. My DS loves being home alone, and we've been gradually building up his time since he was 10 (he's 13 now). He's always been sensible, so we've never had an issue. DD, now 12, won't be left...she is a worrier, so would rather just come with me when I pop to the shop if DH isn't here. Both absolutely fine, imo...it all depends on the kid!

Good grief. I think it's absolutely fine!

Absolutely fine, if he was ok with it. Your DH is BU.

Op you sound very sensible, you covered the bases and it was 11 mins. Absolutely fine. I would have done it.

No issues here either. You know your DS. I used to leave my eldest DS (then aged 8) on his own for 30 mins once a week as it was the only way he could get to the athletics club he loved (after 30 mins DH would arrive home and take him to the club). If they are sensible, follow the rules, and are well briefed on what to do in various scenarios, it's all part of slowly developing independence. Mine all loved being left on their own for short periods like that, from aged 8 or 9 onwards.