To not want to have sex with partner after finding this out?

[Namechange224]

DP and I have been together a few years. I was just on his email account on our shared computer looking for a booking reference and discovered an email from 7 months before we got together. He had ordered chlamydia treatment medicine.
I had asked him before in conversation if he had ever had any STD/STI and he said no, so obviously lied.
I know it was before me but I can't help feeling repulsed by it and also now repulsed at the idea of having sex with him!

AIBU? Would you feel the same??

[happycamper11]

He could have just ordered/taken it as a precaution. it's easy to buy and lots of people do it

[happycamper11]

You cannot just “order online”. Well you can, but why would you risk self diagnosing and buying fuck knows what illegally when you can get it easily via the NHS.

Yes you absolutely can from legitimate uk online pharmacies

[Mrsmadevans]

Frankly I'd be more relieved that I was with a capable adult who got himself tested & treated, than I would be bothered about him lying about ever having one when asked.
Exactly my thoughts.

[Ugzbugz]

I've had it and wouldn't admit if I was asked, also he may not have defo had it and just took them as a precaution, it's a very very common STI

[waterSpider]

When my new partner was diagnosed with chlamydia (at start of our relationship) it was easier to take the medicine without doing a diagnosis. So, it's quite likely I didn't have it, but didn't seem worth waiting for a check. This was many years ago (15?).

[BettyAll1]

Does he typically have diagnosis and treatments emailed to him? I’d be asking him more questions rather than assuming he’s covering something up.

[Tiredtiredtired100]

I took it once as an ex-fling told me he had it. I also got tested at the same time but as results take two weeks they told me to take the medication as a precaution. I didn’t have an STD but still took the medication as a recent ex had told me they were infected. So it’s possible he didn’t have chlamydia in the end either.

[GreytExpectations]

Why sort of keyword did you search that went from a booking reference to a fucking STI treatment email???

[Lovemusic33]

You can buy it online and you can buy the testing kit online too.

I think your being a bit OTT OP, your were snooping, you don’t really know he lied, he could have bought the medication for someone else (partner at the time, friend) and even if it was for himself at least you know it was treated before you got together. It’s not really a major issue is it? Lots of people pick up STI’s and get them treated without discussing it with the world.

[listsandbudgets]

Lucky you OP. You have netted yourself a man who's willing to confront issues regarding his sexual health and deal with them appropriately. Many people would shy away from it.

As others have said he may have taken medication preemptively and then later found he didn't have it.

Sounds like you have got yourself a sensible man there.

[xoxoxoxoxoxoxo]

idk. Chlamydia is a funny thing, I think. Middle aged woman here, started IVF about 15 yrs ago and was told I tested positive for chlamydia! DH and I had treatment, but who had it first? How long had we had it? Was it an issue? (no - my infertility was due to early menopause).

Luckily had 2 DCs since so not relevant - but it never occurred to us to wonder where it came from, or who had it first. If your DH had it (or not) and it was given the all clear, I really wouldn't give it another thought. It was in the past.

[YicketyYackMamasBack]

So.. you would have ratcheted him not get tested and treated? Not have it treated, then meet you, give it to you, neither of you find out for years and then by that time your fertility is shot to shite?

Just be glad he was obviously being sensible about testing and treating.

Me and OH got it, turns out OH’s previous long term relationship had been cheating on him for a long time. Neither of us found out for 3.5 years so I was scared our tattooist would have been affected. It wasn’t thankfully but we should have been more careful.

It certainly doesn’t make me love my DP any less though, or make me not want to have sex with him, it’s just a shame we were both so stupid not to get tested more often.

Lesson learned.

[CameronG]

but it never occurred to us to wonder where it came from, or who had it first

What, really?!

If I was told I tested positive for chlamydia my husband and I would be exchanging some very serious words.

[YicketyYackMamasBack]

Actually I said me and OH got it. He definitely had it as he was having symptoms after the 3.5 years and tested positive, so I hopped off to the GP and after saying “my OH has chlamydia” the GP stopped me, told me I probably have it too, and wrote me a prescription. I never got tested but got treated for it anyway.

[Bluerussian]

Just tell him you came across the order and ask him about it. He may not have had chlamydia and, if he suspected he had, could have been embarrassed about it. No biggie.

[deydododatdodontdeydo]

If my nosey new DP asked about my previous sti history I'd probably lie too, since it wouldn't be any of his business.
It would also be a bit of a red flag for me about him.

[MarthasGinYard]

'Looking for a booking reference turns up a years old STI email?'



Where was your booking Chlamydia Sur Mer?

[EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall]

I dont think he should have to tell you about any medical history that was before you and that doesnt affect you.

It doesnt even mean he had it

[Dellow]

Possibly a big stretch but ......Does he keep birds of any kind ? Chlamydia is easily confused with chlamydiosis which is a common occurrence in various cage & aviary birds ( Latin: chlamydia psittaci) and you used to be able to buy the treatment online - doxycycline - not sure if you still can though.

[YasssKween]

Judging by your reaction I think he made a wise choice.

He had no obligation to inform you of a medical thing from before you were together. You're being ridiculous.

Imagine if a man posted on here saying he discovered his girlfriend had taken that treatment before he met her, but when previously asked about and STD had said she'd never had one. If he said he was now repulsed by her, felt she lied and didn't want to have sex he would get his arse handed to him on a plate. Rightly so.

And unless you're staying at Hotel Chlamydia soon, you were snooping at least to the extent you clicked on emails that clearly weren't to do with the booking you mentioned. Even if they came up in search results. Emails you knew were private. It's ok to own that, it's silly to pretend you didn't.

[Justaboy]

Its a very common infection it may well be caused by another infection route other than sex, you really need to talk to a doctor for advice on this one.

[thecapitalsunited]

A few years ago my DH ordered some pills from an online pharmacy for Delhi belly just in case he picked it up on a business trip to India. I looked the drug up and it could also be used for chlamydia treatment.

I bet you’ve been searching emails for a order confirmation and put 2 and 2 together to make 5.

[VenusTiger]

How do you know it was for him OP and not a previous partner who asked him to order it for them?

Have you discussed previous bouts of thrush or uti with him?

Are you worried he still has it?

[dontgobaconmyheart]

Not sure OP is 'lucky' . I'm with you OP, he lied/was happy to lie and that doesnt speak well of him. Anyone 'mature' would be a) not having unprotected sex, and b) visiting a legitimate sexual health clinic for screening, not ordering meds online.

I would have to discuss it with him because frankly I'd want to know if he bothered to actually get a proper diagnose or took a wild stab in the dark at what he needed and ordered online, whether he retested since to ensure he was clear etc.

I'd get a screening OP, but equally, I would (and have) when I've slept with a new partner regardless- and do not do one night stands or partners who aren't on board with that.

[deydododatdodontdeydo]

Anyone 'mature' would be a) not having unprotected sex


Ok then.