To not want to have sex with partner after finding this out?

[Namechange224]

DP and I have been together a few years. I was just on his email account on our shared computer looking for a booking reference and discovered an email from 7 months before we got together. He had ordered chlamydia treatment medicine.
I had asked him before in conversation if he had ever had any STD/STI and he said no, so obviously lied.
I know it was before me but I can't help feeling repulsed by it and also now repulsed at the idea of having sex with him!

AIBU? Would you feel the same??

[TokenGinger]

If he's ordered it online then he's bought it as a precaution. If he'd been diagnosed with it, he'd have been given the treatment for free there and then.

Regardless, YABU. It may be embarrassing for him and he isn't at liberty to discuss something which has been treated prior to you which you have no risk of catching.

[baubled]

There's such a stigma around it, not many people are going to admit it early on in a relationship, why potentially ruin something with someone you really like over something that is in the past.

[Cantwaitforsummer2020]

Chlamydia treatment medicine is a very common antibiotic. One which is prescribed for thousands of other ailments. YABU

[OlaEliza]

I know it was before me but I can't help feeling repulsed by it and also now repulsed at the idea of having sex with him!

AIBU? Would you feel the same??

No. As long as his tests were now clear it's not really any of your business. It was before you.

Would you feel repulsed that he'd had chicken pox or flu in the past? As long as he's clear now what's the difference?

[PityParty4one]

Depends when you asked him.

Frankly I don't share that kind of personal information with somebody I am just dating/have not known long.

[BumbleBeee69]

He had ordered chlamydia treatment medicine

are you sure it was medicine and not an online Test Kit ?

I had asked him before in conversation if he had ever had any STD/STI and he said no, so obviously lied

if it was a Test Kit it could have been negative, in which case he didn't Lie OP.

just a thought...

[mrbob]

I have taken treatment for chlamydia without actually turning out to have it. Dickhead boyfriend slept with someone else who then told him she had chlamydia. He got tested and had it. I felt a bit sore and so doctor was happy to treat presumptively. Test then came back negative. I can understand why he might feel embarrassed. Lying is never great but I am not sure it is the most awful thing to lie about (if it was herpes or contracted from a sex worker or something else similar that might not be my answer!)

[Vanhi]

You can carry a chlamydia infection for years without it manifesting itself. It may be that an ex contacted him and said 'I've been tested, I've got chlamydia, I don't know when I got it. I'm contacting all ex partners to let them know. You should have a treatment just in case, or get yourself tested.' Then rather than get tested he just ordered a treatment for himself just in case.

Any sexual activity my OH had prior to me is all filed under 'Don't ask'. Neither of us were virgins when we got together, any sexual activity carries with it a risk. This wouldn't bother me. The lying might concern me a bit but generally my OH is so up front about pretty much everything I'd be inclined to think 'no good ever comes of snooping' and leave it at that.

[Polly111]

I think YABU. Just because he’s ordered the drug doesn’t mean he’s had chlamydia. I think it’s more strange that you asked him if he’d had any stis before he met you, how is it relevant to your relationship? He probably lied because he was embarrassed and you come across as quite judgemental. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if it was my oh and I’d found that email.

[williams345]

I've had clamyida but I've never been embarrassed about it and always willing told people and actually laugh about it but
I can complete understand why someone would feel embarrassed or ashamed as it is something very personal; he doesn't have to share that sort of info with you

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Looking for a booking reference turns up a years old STI email?

[ExhaustedGrinch]

I know it was before me but I can't help feeling repulsed by it and also now repulsed at the idea of having sex with him!

AIBU? Would you feel the same??

I don't understand why you feel repulsed by it and no, I wouldn't feel the same. He lied because, unfortunately, there is still a stigma associated with STIs but there absolutely shouldn't be. IMO all you've done is prove that he was right to feel the need to lie about it.

BTW I would think differently if he still currently had an STI whilst sleeping with you but that's clearly not the case here.

[Dividingthementalload]

Oh for goodness sake, stop it. It dates from before your relationship began. He was probably embarrassed. Let it go.

[sleepylittlebunnies]

I wonder what key word was used to search for a booking that would also turn up chlamydia treatment in the results?

YNBU to be a bit upset that he lied but it was a very nosy question to ask so early in the relationship. Questioning his past behaviour prior to your relationship, along with asking how many sexual partners they’ve had is asking for very private information. I’m not surprised he said No. It’s not definite that he was lying either without more information from you, I’m sure you read the entire email. Really what he said early in your relationship is no worse than what you’ve done years into it.

Also maybe he guessed you might be repulsed if he’d said yes. I think repulsion is a massive overreaction to a treated infection.

[TheStuffedPenguin]

When did you ask him - recently or early on ? It's not really any of your business anyway ...

[Boom45]

Ordering medication on line is weird - not telling a new partner you've had chlamydia is not that weird.
I wanna know what search term you used to accidentally get a email that gave you enough info to know he's definitely had chlamydia.

[Waveysnail]

I think hardly anyone would freely admit to having a treatable sti in the past.

[katkit]

Sometimes such meds are taken/ prescribed before a firm diagnosis. Or maybe he was just worried he may have taken a risk?

I was given a load of antibiotics when we thought my (new partner) had a painful nut. Tests showed it to be an injury, but we’d already taken all the drugs by then.

[Sunshinelollipops1]

Chlamydia is treated with antibiotics. I’m confused how you know he bought “chlamydia medication treatment”?

[ComtesseDeSpair]

As others have said, antibiotics for STIs also treat other infections - ex-P used to take one for prostatitis which is also used to treat gonnoreah, the one I took recently for BV also treats chlamydia and trichinosis.

Even if he did take it for an STI, having an STI doesn’t make you dirty or disgusting, all you need to have done to catch one is have sex with one person who has one. There shouldn’t be any more stigma than for tonsillitis or bronchitis. But there is, and so people lie because they’re embarrassed and worried people will think they’re promiscuous, which I expect is why he lied, if he did.

[Pinkyyy]

I can see why he wouldn't want to tell you if he expected this type of a reaction. He had a treatable infection, which he treated. It was his private medical history that he had no need to share with you.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I had chlamydia, caught it from my cheating ex husband, I am now clear. No biggie.

And tbh if anyone I was going to sleep withasked I would probably say that I have been tested, which I have, and am clear. Nothing more than that is anyone elses business but mine.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

The thing is though everyone is allowed a past, and If he didn't want to share that is his prerogative. He probably feels ashamed and didn't want to drag it up.
Obviously don't get me wrong. It would be very very different if he wAs still infected.
Would have been any less repulsed if he'd have came out a nd said.
"By the darling before we met I had Chlamydia."

[bluebluezoo]

As pp have said “chlamydia treatment” is an antibiotic.

Which is prescription only. You go to GP, test, diagnosis, prescription written, off to pharmacy.

You cannot just “order online”. Well you can, but why would you risk self diagnosing and buying fuck knows what illegally when you can get it easily via the NHS.

If he’s self diagnosed and bought “treatment” off the internet i’d be dumping him for being a stupid idiot who knows nothing about his sexual health and is more than happy to risk subsequent partners health by not seeking proper treatment.

The actual sti not such a big deal...

Or it didn’t happen...