To think I should be able to ask for a hysterectomy in mid 30s?

[CustardSlicesOnesNeverEnough]

Talking to a friend who asked for one a couple of yrs ago and they said no due to her age. She was 38..was done with kids and other reasons.

I've just had my 3rd dc @ nr 37.
And I'm up in the air regarding regarding contraception, I absolutely do not want anything inserted.. Too many storiesabout the cord being lost and trying to remove after time being painful.
And I feel like my body has gone through enough with hormones for hormonal tablets or whatever

DH has said he'd have a vasectomy. However trying to get the time off work for the procedure and recovery may be difficult as all annual leave is booked for when his dd is with us. And he's had to have lots of unpaid time off for other reasons beyond control. He works for a small company.. I. E 2 employees so this has a huge affect on them when he's off as he's the skilled person out of the 2.
If he asked they would sort it but this year it feels wrong to ask. They are a great employer and treat him really well.

Anyway back to me. I know that having another dc is not a good idea. I'm exhausted and between Dc1 and 2 is 12 yrs so I feel like I've already started again. Now we have a 1 week old.

I have pcos and endo so ttc originally with 1 and 2 we needed treatment. However out of the blue I fell pregnant. Unfortunately that one didn't stick.. Then 4 weeks later I fell again.
We wernt using anything as we were told it would never happen naturally for us..and it did, after the loss we'd decided that we should try but not hold out hope and it happened.
So now we feel like it's all too risky.

I suffer awful with my periods. Very heavy I have to use maternity pads. And change hourly at least. So painful codiene doesn't touch it. And they last for around 7 days.. This results in me being a moody mare.

I want to ask for a hysterectomy but feel they'll palm me off saying I'm too young. But I know that more kids is not a, financially possible. B, we feel like we've been parents forever and want to look forward to having older dcs that we can do more with and have a life of our own iyswim.. As we feel we've put ourselves on the back burner for so long.. I for one know that I always refuse a night out to stay with dcs. Or don't buy what I need for the dcs to have things. Etc because I feel like they are the only priority.. Dh always tries to tell me to put me 1st but I just can't whilst they're still so young.

Ordinarily I would say you are mad to be considering what is relatively major surgery, because it's inconvenient for your DH to have a procedure that can even be done at a local clinic (and from what I understand, the 'down time' afterwards is minimal)

But if it's because of your other health issues, that a hysterectomy could help resolve, then I guess it's fair to at least have the discussion with your doctor.

Just to add - if your DH can't take a few days off to recover from a vasectomy, who will help take care of you when you're recovering from a hysterectomy?

A hysterectomy is major surgery, it’s not a contraceptive choice. Your other issues might mean it’s viable but it doesn’t come without risks and draw backs. And you will need help at home after. I had one in my 20s and I was barely able to get out of bed for a week. Took months to be fully fit. It’s hardly an easy option.

If you have this operation you won't be able to do anything for six weeks, my sister literally laid on the sofa the whole time and her husband had to do everything plus his full time job. The recovery time for your husband would be days. Can't you look after his DD while he recovers?

Ah I didn't know it could be done at a clinic. His job is very manual and he's previous had surgery on his genital area after a bad accident years ago so wasn't sure if that would delay recovery. But he would ask. And has said he'd make an appointment at the gp This week.

I have lots of family close by. Dad lives at End of my road and my mum Lives 1 mile away. Also good, friends all Within a shirt distance and inlaws are fab.

He would ask work but being a family business him being off loses them a few grand in a week. He's had lots of time off unpaid and they've had no issues with that either but it feels wrong.

A hysterectomy is costly to NHS and should only be done for clinical need. That’s not about contraception and your husband not wanting a day off work.

Lots of Marie Stopes clinics offer vasectomies on Saturdays negating need for time off from work.

You won’t be offered a hysterectomy for contraceptive purposes. It’s a really major operation even if done vaginally. Weeks of recovery time and significant risks attached. You could ask for sterilisation although people report difficulties in getting that approved, too.

You should ask for a gynaecology referral for an opinion on your periods. There might be treatments that could help with that. A hysterectomy is the absolute last option.

A vasectomy is a far less intrusive procedure. Many men will have a couple of days of downtime and then back to normal, if a bit tender. There are also risks with this but it’s less than female sterilisation.

You say you won’t consider anything inserted because of ‘too many stories’ but that’s the worst sort o decision making. Mirena coils can be highly effective for reducing bleeding and contraception. Ask a doctor for actual data, especially in relation to your condition rather than hearsay.

So YABU to think you should be able to have a hysterectomy on demand. Fortunately there are stringent guidelines for offering life changing procedures. Which is a good thing.

If you want this for contraceptive reasons then surely what you want is tubal ligation?

A hysterectomy is a massive operation compared to tubal ligation.

I can understand why they would say no to a hysterectomy, but I do think you should be able to request tubal ligation if you can make an informed decision on it.

You could be sterilised rather than have a hysterectomy.

His dd doesn't live with us. But he's fought in court to have her with a difficult ex. So his annual. Leave is for her in the holidays.
I have no issues in having her at all.

It wasn't meant as an easy option, I didn't meant it to come across like that.

Maybe I'm. Over thinking his work thing. We're good friends with his boss and when we see them this week. Maybe we'll mention it..

I know it's major surgery. But part of my reason was the other issues I mentioned.
I think atm I'm up In the air with everything, hormones, new baby, tired that I'm. Not thinking straight.

Sorry, just remembered you wrote about menstrual problems - that makes it more complicated but I’m still not sure about getting a hysterectomy on demand.

Thank you. Will look into all options mentioned.

My xh was back on his bike within a week. It's a very minor procedure. You may be able to get an evening or weekend appointment. Or even do it when his daughter is around and time is already booked off.

I agree a hysterectomy is using a hammer to crack a nut here (no pun intended). You then have risks like prolapse etc which can be life limiting.

Go & see your doctor. Write down how often you change your protection & the absorbency level of the protection eg maxi pad changed at 8am, maxi pad changed at 8.30am, large clots, maxi pad changed at 9.30am. Write down how long you bleed for, have all the data ready so you are clear as to why this level of bleeding is unacceptable. You will probably be invited to have an ultra sound and internal ultrasound, have those so the drs can see how thick your uterine lining is, whether you have fibroids or ovarian cysts etc. You might be offered a hysteroscopy so they can examine your endometrial tissue. I had an endometrial ablation which removes your endometrial tissue, no more periods. Go in fully armed to the GP with gynaecology as their speciality at the practice, you can ask the receptionist. Good luck.

My exdh didn't take any time off work for his vasectomy. Booked it for after work on Friday, lay on the sofa all weekend with a pack of frozen peas over his bits, then went back to work Monday.

YABU and I doubt the Dr would entertain it, even with the medical issues you face. It is very major surgery and very costly. You’ll be laid up for a fair while and that without any complications.

A vasectomy is much more simple, and less costly on the NHS.

The waiting time for an appointment for a consultation is 4-6 weeks, by the time he gets it done it’ll be nearer 8-12 weeks.
The procedure is spoken about first then he’d be given an appointment if he want to go ahead.
It takes about 15-30 minutes to do under a LA and they can go home afterwards, and though he’d have to rest for a day or so and will be a bit sore normally, it’s a pretty speedy recovery. There are exceptions to the norm obviously.

It’s more effective than female sterilisation apparently and remember you’ll have to use contraception for a few months after the procedure, as they need to take two samples to check it has been successful.

You're worried about the short term pain of a coil removal if the cords get lost, which probably won't happen, but are more than happy to take the pain/risks of major surgery, not to mention the inconvenience of the recovery period.

I understand your reluctance over a coil as I too was really uncomfortable with the idea. However, in the end, I took plenty of painkillers before and it wasn't that bad and really made a huge difference to my quality of life. In the end, I lost it - it fell out and I didn't even notice until the heavy bleeding returned.

If a coil will help your medical issues as well as being a contaceptive then it seems a no brainer to give it a go.

If you are sure you want a hysterectomy, look at the nice guidelines, the main guidelines that need to be followed are that you have completed your family & a mirena coil is not suitable or you are not willing to have one done, that you have tried other hormonal methods to control your periods. A hysterectomy for endometriosis can be carried out by keyhole surgery, which means just an overnight stay in hospital, yes you can't do any heavy lifting for 6 weeks but the recovery is easier than an abdominal one, ask your doctor for a referral to a gynaecologist, don't mention you want it for contraceptive reasons & state your case, the fact that one week in four you are in agony & struggle to manage your family is one reason.

It's a cost to the nhs that is not necessary.

It's significant surgery.

It puts you into an early menopause. We all have to go through it but being in the mist of it now, I would say it's the last think you want to face whilst looking after find children. If you think heavy periods are hard to cope with, the menopause could be much worse.

Then there are the risk associated with early menopause, osteoporosis and more.

I've had all the tests and just get palmed with pain killers.
I've had 4 laprocopys to remove endo and cysts Within 3 years.
But I think we'll give it all Some thought and write everything down.

It is 7 years since I requested a sterilisation. I’m still waiting, using valuable appointments once every few months to request yet again.

In an ideal world the NHS would have a budget for everything. It doesn’t and unfortunately it is very often women’s health services that are cut and cut and cut.

Please get yourself to the GP to be referred to a consultant Gynae &/or endocrinologist.

Such heavy periods & being mum to 3 DC is draining the life out of you.
No wonder you are so depleted that a major operation seems like the answer to your contraceptive needs.

There are many treatments on the endo & pcos pathways before a hysterectomy would even be considered on medical grounds.

@CustardSlicesOnesNeverEnough
Our posts have crossed.

@Nat6999 has it. Don’t fly the contraception flag as it’s not your own priority & it’s not a factor to the referral you really need.

Also given your heavy menstrual flow, have you been checked recently for anaemia etc.