To think I should be able to ask for a hysterectomy in mid 30s?

[CustardSlicesOnesNeverEnough]

Talking to a friend who asked for one a couple of yrs ago and they said no due to her age. She was 38..was done with kids and other reasons.

I've just had my 3rd dc @ nr 37.
And I'm up in the air regarding regarding contraception, I absolutely do not want anything inserted.. Too many storiesabout the cord being lost and trying to remove after time being painful.
And I feel like my body has gone through enough with hormones for hormonal tablets or whatever

DH has said he'd have a vasectomy. However trying to get the time off work for the procedure and recovery may be difficult as all annual leave is booked for when his dd is with us. And he's had to have lots of unpaid time off for other reasons beyond control. He works for a small company.. I. E 2 employees so this has a huge affect on them when he's off as he's the skilled person out of the 2.
If he asked they would sort it but this year it feels wrong to ask. They are a great employer and treat him really well.

Anyway back to me. I know that having another dc is not a good idea. I'm exhausted and between Dc1 and 2 is 12 yrs so I feel like I've already started again. Now we have a 1 week old.

I have pcos and endo so ttc originally with 1 and 2 we needed treatment. However out of the blue I fell pregnant. Unfortunately that one didn't stick.. Then 4 weeks later I fell again.
We wernt using anything as we were told it would never happen naturally for us..and it did, after the loss we'd decided that we should try but not hold out hope and it happened.
So now we feel like it's all too risky.

I suffer awful with my periods. Very heavy I have to use maternity pads. And change hourly at least. So painful codiene doesn't touch it. And they last for around 7 days.. This results in me being a moody mare.

I want to ask for a hysterectomy but feel they'll palm me off saying I'm too young. But I know that more kids is not a, financially possible. B, we feel like we've been parents forever and want to look forward to having older dcs that we can do more with and have a life of our own iyswim.. As we feel we've put ourselves on the back burner for so long.. I for one know that I always refuse a night out to stay with dcs. Or don't buy what I need for the dcs to have things. Etc because I feel like they are the only priority.. Dh always tries to tell me to put me 1st but I just can't whilst they're still so young.

Good tip @TheSandgroper - provide empirical evidence to back up your case.

As an aside, when my mother bled out overnight in bed - long story - the paramedics asked me to scoop up the bedding so that it could be weighed on admission to A&E.

A hysterectomy is major surgery and not something you do just because you have minor endo pain (Codeine prescription = minor) and can’t be arsed with contraception!

I’m recovering from a radical hysterectomy, currently 8 weeks post op. I had it to treat adenomyosis, fibroids and had excision of stage 4 endo during the op. They took everything and I’m not battling surgical menopause. It’s not a fun ride and it was absolutely the last resort for me after multiple laparoscopies.
If heavy bleeding and contraception is a concern you could ask for endometrial ablation, it basically removes your womb min in g so it can’t build up and you won’t generally have periods again or if you do they’ll be much lighter, it’s also essentially a sterilisation procedure. May be worth considering, but a hysterectomy won’t cure your endo, it’ll solve the heavy bleeding but you’ll be at greater risk of prolapses later in life and you’ll have to take at least 6 weeks off any lifting which with young children can be difficult. My husband took two weeks off work to do all the housework and childcare post op for me and then I relied heavily on family support

Everyone saying that hysterectomy is a massive operation, if you get a surgeon who does it keyhole, it isn't too bad, 4 tiny cuts no longer than 5 cm, catheter & drain overnight & then hoke as soon as you can go for a wee. I kept my cervix my consultant said that was the best way to maintain my pelvic floor. I had mine done one Friday evening, came home first thing Saturday morning, walked to the local shop in the afternoon & was out & about socially in the pub by monday afternoon, I drove after 5 days & was back on the school run after a week. I had endometriosis & had both my ovaries removed, haven't had any recurrence of the endometriosis, I am on HRT, it is 9 years since I had it done & I have never regretted it.

I would definitely try a Mirena and depo (not together) before considering a hysterectomy. Both can treat heavy periods and endo.

You'd probably have to have a hysteroscopy (camera into uterus) at some stage anyway when they could fit a Mirena. Most people have no problems with them and are extremely satisfied. (Of course there are a few unfortunate women for whom they don't control the bleeding.)

You can ask for a local anaesthetic to make the fitting more comfortable. If you've got a young baby (and especially if you had a vaginal delivery) it is likely to be straightforward and relatively pain free without an anaesthetic.

My husband had a vasectomy on a Thursday afternoon, drove himself home, and was back to work on Monday.
He'd have to be home for weeks for you to recover from a hysterectomy with small children.

I'm in a similar position. It looks like I will be having a hysterectomy at some point. The criteria was that I had exhausted all other options - tried all contraceptives, tablets to reduce bleeding and I had an endometrial ablation.
It's considered the absolute last resort.

Two if my friends who’ve had hysterectomies for endo still get it in their abdomen, and around their bowel.

YANBU ago want a hysterectomy for problem periods. I had one in my mid 40’s (had to have it done privately) and wish I had had it done in my 30’s after I’d had my DC. I had keyhole, left my ovaries and cervix, and have had no problems since. The economy has probably gained from me as I’ve been able to work more hours, and also been to the GP less!

My mum had a hysterectomy for gynae issues and she says it was the best thing she ever did other than putting her into premature-ish (she was 42) menopause (and she kept her ovaries).

She had it the old way with a big scar across her stomach. I am sure that if you have keyhole it's much quicker to recover from.

Two if my friends who’ve had hysterectomies for endo still get it in their abdomen, and around their bowel Yes I know someone this has happened to. She had the operation in her 20s so was saying goodbye to the possibility of having her own kids - and it didn't work.

You have to weigh it up and whether there are other ways of dealing with your periods.

I think you've conflated two issues. One is contraception, which is NOT what a hysterectomy should be for.

The other is very heavy periods. A hysterectomy might be necessary to deal with that but only after all other options s have been explored.

It might be helpful to take the test on this site here so you know whether you fall into the NHS criteria for heavy periods

www.nhs.uk/conditions/heavy-periods/

If so, you need t go and see your GP and explain about your periods. Keep a diary for a couple of months and take it with you. Do not let the GP fob you off.

If your willing to pay for it yourself of have the insurance to cover it then YANBU. If you're expecting the NHS to cover it for non essential reasons then YABVU.

*you're and or!!

Talk it through with a gynaecologist. I had libel ligation after my 3rd c section and just had further surgery as a result of that. The surgeon also said a hysterectomy is not a good choice due to prolapse potential when I suggested cutting it all out.

Bear in mind that, as others have said, it's not a sure cure for endometriosis, depending upon what type you have, how extensive, where it is sited and whether the surgeon can get it all out at the time of the surgery.
So far as I know, the risk of recurrence afterwards is around 19% - that's one patient in five. If all the disease isn't removed then all bets are off.
Some types of endometriosis can manufacture their own hormones and self-fuel. It's now known that the rogue tissue probably doesn't come from the uterus in most cases.
In the 80s and 90s when hysterectomies were done almost as a matter of course on many endometriosis patients, they just ended up with a lot of ill women who had also had unnecessary hysterectomies and suffered all the complications that can bring, such as prolapses, on top of their endometriosis. This is why it now isn't offered for endometriosis except in specific combinations of circumstances.

I had a Mirena fitted under general anesthetic during a hysteroscopy examination on 7th December last year. It is meant to treat heavy bleeding (I have had years of flooding periods) but so far I can't say that my experience of it has been totally positive.

I'm still bleeding more than 7 weeks after the operation in varying amounts each day, but with no let-up. Last night I had some significant cramping for a good couple of hours and a fair bit of bleeding. I'm also feel as though I am in a permanent state of PMS, so I am not convinced about the claims that the hormone release remains localised.

However, it is likely to be pushed as your main first option, so be ready for that. Don't use contraception as your reason for asking about a hysterectomy. It suits some people but not others. Unfortunately, you can't know whether or not it will suit you until you try it.

Personally, I wish I had held out and not taken the Mirena, but that is just where I find myself right now. Everyone is different. I will be making yet another GP appointment soon.

I actually think YABU to ask for major surgery for no real reason

Sorry, to clarify, I mean that Mirena suits some people but not others.

There is no one size fits all whatever your circumstances, I suppose.

OP, you have a one week old baby. Your hormones are resettling. It’s a time when you can easily obsess about small issues.

Give yourself six months to reassess.

FWIW, we use condoms for contraception. We don’t have sex often enough to warrant invasive procedures for either of us!

I had a surgical hysterectomy aged 34 because of a fibroid the size of a football and very very heavy periods. It was the best thing I ever did. I kept 1 ovary so didn't go through early menopause.

I had the operation Thursday afternoon, got up Friday morning and had a shower. Surgeon came to see me asked me to walk along the corridor, which I did, and he said I could go home.

I had no pain relief whatsoever. No pain just a bit of a niggle. I do have a high pain threshold though.

My surgeon told me not to take it too easy. He said that is the worst thing you can do and is the reason why it takes so long for some women to recover.

He told me to go for a walk every day starting with fairly short walks. He said not to hoover or change the bed but other than that I could do housework. He also said it was perfectly fine to lift a kettle provided it wasn't completely full.

I went back to work 5 weeks later. I could have gone back earlier though as I was fine

Obviously every woman is different but some posters are making it sound horrific

Lynsey^^ Some posters are making it sound horrific because for some women it is horrific!

You need to separate the 2 issues

1. contraception- short term condoms

Long term- vasectomy

2. heavy periods/ pain

Go to the gynaecologist and get treatment and don’t be palmed off. They could do ablation or other things to help you.

Hysterectomy will cause menopause do you realise that??

It will cut your life expectancy!

@Hellbentwellwent and for many it is not.

Condoms...?

Lynsey and for many women it is major, in fact I would say it’s irresponsible for women to brag about how easily they got over it. The nhs guidelines are there as an average guide to recovery, 6 weeks off work is standard but even the nhs guidelines say that it is average 3 months before women will be back to ‘normal’. I’ve heard many women talk about how they felt pressured to go back to work before they were physically or mentally able because of stories like yours being used as evidence that hysterectomies are no big deal. They are a big deal, you were very lucky and you need to be more aware that for most women there is a much longer healing process going on. It can take up to a year before all internal healing has actually taken place according to my surgeon. If women feel like they need to rush their recovery they increase their chance of prolapse which puts them on a path of further corrective surgery and a prolonged period of time off work and recovery.