To think I should be able to ask for a hysterectomy in mid 30s?

[CustardSlicesOnesNeverEnough]

Talking to a friend who asked for one a couple of yrs ago and they said no due to her age. She was 38..was done with kids and other reasons.

I've just had my 3rd dc @ nr 37.
And I'm up in the air regarding regarding contraception, I absolutely do not want anything inserted.. Too many storiesabout the cord being lost and trying to remove after time being painful.
And I feel like my body has gone through enough with hormones for hormonal tablets or whatever

DH has said he'd have a vasectomy. However trying to get the time off work for the procedure and recovery may be difficult as all annual leave is booked for when his dd is with us. And he's had to have lots of unpaid time off for other reasons beyond control. He works for a small company.. I. E 2 employees so this has a huge affect on them when he's off as he's the skilled person out of the 2.
If he asked they would sort it but this year it feels wrong to ask. They are a great employer and treat him really well.

Anyway back to me. I know that having another dc is not a good idea. I'm exhausted and between Dc1 and 2 is 12 yrs so I feel like I've already started again. Now we have a 1 week old.

I have pcos and endo so ttc originally with 1 and 2 we needed treatment. However out of the blue I fell pregnant. Unfortunately that one didn't stick.. Then 4 weeks later I fell again.
We wernt using anything as we were told it would never happen naturally for us..and it did, after the loss we'd decided that we should try but not hold out hope and it happened.
So now we feel like it's all too risky.

I suffer awful with my periods. Very heavy I have to use maternity pads. And change hourly at least. So painful codiene doesn't touch it. And they last for around 7 days.. This results in me being a moody mare.

I want to ask for a hysterectomy but feel they'll palm me off saying I'm too young. But I know that more kids is not a, financially possible. B, we feel like we've been parents forever and want to look forward to having older dcs that we can do more with and have a life of our own iyswim.. As we feel we've put ourselves on the back burner for so long.. I for one know that I always refuse a night out to stay with dcs. Or don't buy what I need for the dcs to have things. Etc because I feel like they are the only priority.. Dh always tries to tell me to put me 1st but I just can't whilst they're still so young.

I had a hysterectomy at 31 after countless years of gynae issues.
If you keep your ovaries you don't need HRT.
The recovery is harsh but I think easier at a young age - took me 3 months to feel human again but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I don't think YABU. If you're done with children and have draining painful periods and endo then I don't think it's the worst idea. Speak with your doctor. I think they'd probably suggest tubal litigation, though

You need to focus on your symptoms and whether a hysterectomy can be medically justified. Just because someone else was told it because of her age does not mean that applys to you or is the whole truth
I had one done within a month of having a hysterscope.The consultant when I went for the appt had already got permission for the surgery but he said that there was a strict nhs criteria that needs to fulfilled. Many people don't get over the risk criteria due to weight or smoking.
Focus on your symptoms nothing else.

I had a hysterectomy at the age of 35 as a final resolution to treat endometriosis and fibroids after a consultant did a bitch job on a myomectomy to remove fibroids.

I was discharged home two days after surgery, able to walk around the house ok and started going for daily walks to build my strength back up after 14 days...

My only regret is that I didn't try to have kids in my early twenties - but I wasn't interested in babies until I hit 29 and by then it was too late.

If you want a hysterectomy - speak to your consultant about how this surgery will improve your quality of life, due to struggling with pain management. Don't raise it as a contraception choice. Good luck x

Yes I take iron generally and thought pregnancy I had 3 infusions as tablets wernt enough..

If you're lucky you might feel human again three months post hysterectomy. Or it might be six months. Or twelve months.

And you could find you have long term issues with pain and/or bowel obstructions due to the scar tissue formed after the surgery.

It's a big deal.

I've had a hysterectomy for fibroids.

While I don't regret it, I think you're completely underestimating the pain and recovery involved. You're saying you don't want a coil cos of the pain but you'd consider major surgery? Are you serious? A hysterectomy is much more painful. 4.5 years on I still get mild discomfort from what I assume are adhesions (internal scarring, unavoidable).

The NHS only give them for clinical need. You may be able to argue your case due to your medical issues, but they won't give it for contraception.

Well, surgery turned out to be correct for me as I felt like the walking dead for years before my hysterectomy - years of exteme flooding periods and being anaemic plus unbearable pain that put me in bed for days whenever my period decided to show up. Not forgetting countless miscarriages and the pain associated with those losses.
Losing my womb gave me my life back.

He could have the vasectomy during his annual leave. My husband had his on a Friday morning at a Marie Stopes clinic and he was back at work on Monday.

And I had it the normal way (not keyhole) and was back at work 6 weeks later.

You could look into uterine ablation but they need to look into less invasive procedures first.

I was driving 5 days after having a keyhole hysterectomy, I was a single mum to a 7 year old, if you plan things properly there is no reason you can't manage, batch cook & have meals in the freezer, do small amounts & rest, other than hoovering & washing I had no help, have shopping delivered & ask the driver to put everything on the kitchen worktops so you don't have to lift any heavy weights, start getting your older children self sufficient in sorting things for school, washing & dressing etc, you are fine to do the walk to school or plan to have the op during or just before the school holidays. Keeping a diary of how badly your periods & endometriosis affect you is a good idea, the fact you already have a diagnosis is good. Find a sympathetic doctor at your surgery & go armed with all your information & ask for a referral. If they turn down your funding request, write to your MP & get them to support you in an appeal, I had to do this but won my appeal.

Sympathies as I know how awful endo/heavy periods are. A hysterectomy will not treat endo however, but it will treat adenomyosis (endo in the uterine muscle, can be diagnosed via MRI)
Endo should be treated by excision (cutting away) rather than ablation (burning) as this doesn’t get the root of it out. I would get seen by an endo specialist (not a regular gynaecologist).
Best of luck XX

You need a referral to gynae to discuss your options.

And there are options.

I was like you period wise so I sympathise.

For me the contraceptive injection stopped all periods and all associated symptoms.

I'm post menopause now but I had an ovary removed due to huge cysts.

If you go for sterilization your periods will not be changed.

Hysterectomy is a huge op with at least 6 weeks recovery during which you cannot drive or even pick up a bag of potatoes.

After a hysterectomy there can be other problems, the major one is that you will effectively go through the menopause if they remove your ovaries. Which means you are at risk of bone thinning and heart disease.

You can be put through a chemical menopause with drugs from a gynae, an option I considered due to my age as an alternative tot eh ovary removal.

Get your GP to refer you to a gynae for your symptoms and get your dh to book a vasectomy, it can be performed with local anesthetic and cost under £500 private, or you can get an NHS vasectomy.

Recovery for a manual job is still days, maybe a week and this could be timed when your dh's dd is staying.

I have 4 kids, been on depo for years and wanted to take control and have booked to be sterilised, boyfriend is fairly new and doesn’t have his own kids so wouldn’t ask him but am totally done Having kids but absolutely wouldn’t have a hysterectomy unless it’s medically warranted tbh

A hysterectomy is costly to NHS and should only be done for clinical need. That’s not about contraception and your husband not wanting a day off work.

The OP makes it clear that her PCOS/Endo problems are the driver behind hysterectomy, the sterilisation would be a useful by product. The NHS is generally appalling at treating/managing Endo and not a lot better for PCOS.

Ex had a vasectomy on a Saturday morning and went to work Monday, he even took the kids to the park on the Sunday, it's a very minor procedure, no more than the fibroids I get removed every year or two (so got no sympathy from me). Major abdominal surgery takes months to recover from, it used to be no driving for 6 weeks at least. Try the mirina coil , I've been told in 80% of women periods stop or are very light (still waiting but it's only been a month)

As PP’s have said, a hysterectomy is a major operation and you won’t be able to do anything for weeks so your DH would need lots of time off to help you anyway. A Vasectomy is straight forward and generally men can return to work the following day. Since your DH has offered to have one, definitely go down that route.

You wouldn’t be allowed to pick your children up after a hysterectomy either fwiw so your DH would need to take weeks off work.

The OP makes it clear that her PCOS/Endo problems are the driver behind hysterectomy

No she doesn’t she has talked far more about the supposed inconvenience of a vasectomy and her need for contraception.

I had a hysterectomy in July last year.
It takes a long time to recover- my core strength is still weak.
They left my ovaries so I still have pain during ovulation from the pcos- causes back pain/syatic pain too.

Hysterectomy just for contraception is a ridiculous idea. One for your other symptoms is tempting.

I was 39 - but did ask early 30's and was dismissed- push hard if that's what you want to control your symptoms.

OP clearly has no idea what the recovery from a hysterectomy will be like. She’s going to get the shock of her life if she actually succeeds in getting one.

she has talked far more about the supposed inconvenience of a vasectomy and her need for contraception.

Second half of the OP talks about the problems she experiences of PCOS/Endo symptoms as does the third post. Endo is a common driver for women in their 30s/40s to seek hysterectomies and at that age it serves the dual purpose.

Of course actually being taken seriously for endo is something else entirely.

When your periods come back, keep and weigh all tampons and pads for a complete period. An electronic scale is the most precise. Remember to preweigh a clean one to be sure you only measure your blood loss.

Then when you discuss the issue with your gp, your information can be measured properly.

One thing a lot of people don't know us that a hysterectomy often leads to a prolapse of the vaginal vault. The uterus is supported by ligaments that also hold up the vaginal walls. When you remove the uterus the vagina loses support and can collapse. I've read studies where this happens in nearly 50% of people who've had a hysterectomy! Please think very carefully. There are ways to deal with awful periods that don't involve removing a major organ. If you got a vaginal vault prolapse you'd face years of discomfort, future surgery and it's possible complications. Vaginal vault prolapses are often accompanied by eneterecole - where part of the intestine drops down in to the pelvis.