To think I should be able to ask for a hysterectomy in mid 30s?

[CustardSlicesOnesNeverEnough]

Talking to a friend who asked for one a couple of yrs ago and they said no due to her age. She was 38..was done with kids and other reasons.

I've just had my 3rd dc @ nr 37.
And I'm up in the air regarding regarding contraception, I absolutely do not want anything inserted.. Too many storiesabout the cord being lost and trying to remove after time being painful.
And I feel like my body has gone through enough with hormones for hormonal tablets or whatever

DH has said he'd have a vasectomy. However trying to get the time off work for the procedure and recovery may be difficult as all annual leave is booked for when his dd is with us. And he's had to have lots of unpaid time off for other reasons beyond control. He works for a small company.. I. E 2 employees so this has a huge affect on them when he's off as he's the skilled person out of the 2.
If he asked they would sort it but this year it feels wrong to ask. They are a great employer and treat him really well.

Anyway back to me. I know that having another dc is not a good idea. I'm exhausted and between Dc1 and 2 is 12 yrs so I feel like I've already started again. Now we have a 1 week old.

I have pcos and endo so ttc originally with 1 and 2 we needed treatment. However out of the blue I fell pregnant. Unfortunately that one didn't stick.. Then 4 weeks later I fell again.
We wernt using anything as we were told it would never happen naturally for us..and it did, after the loss we'd decided that we should try but not hold out hope and it happened.
So now we feel like it's all too risky.

I suffer awful with my periods. Very heavy I have to use maternity pads. And change hourly at least. So painful codiene doesn't touch it. And they last for around 7 days.. This results in me being a moody mare.

I want to ask for a hysterectomy but feel they'll palm me off saying I'm too young. But I know that more kids is not a, financially possible. B, we feel like we've been parents forever and want to look forward to having older dcs that we can do more with and have a life of our own iyswim.. As we feel we've put ourselves on the back burner for so long.. I for one know that I always refuse a night out to stay with dcs. Or don't buy what I need for the dcs to have things. Etc because I feel like they are the only priority.. Dh always tries to tell me to put me 1st but I just can't whilst they're still so young.

@Hellbentwellwent the thing is my surgeon (and bearing in mind this was 30 years ago) said that the guidelines are ridiculous. They are for older women having hysterectomies not fairly young ones.

He says that telling women to do more or less nothing is why recovery takes so long. They should be up and moving as soon as possible. Walking every day helps a lot.

The women I know who sat or laid around afterwards and did nothing all took months to recover and most of them had problems. The ones who had a positive mental attitude and just took things a little easier than normal all got over it quickly.

Sitting around doing nothing means you almost seize up. Obviously if you are in pain take painkillers but don't just assume you will be in pain because it may well not be true

@ActualHornist what an ignorant comment re: trans men

OP I had a hysterectomy at 39 due to PMDD, endo and adenomyosis.
My husband had already had a vasectomy because I couldn't tolerate any contraception (due to PMDD). He was up and about the same day and back in work within 48hrs....

It's not something to be taken lightly and I had to go through over 2 years of consultation before it was decided it was the best treatment for me.

It isn't irresponsible to say that we got over our major surgery with relative ease - it is just what happened, as lynsey said some of us had our operations when we were young and physically fit.
I'm sure having any major operation when you are in your 50s/60s/70s has different recovery times to a woman in her 30s/40s.
All surgery has its complications and risks - a consultant explains this.

If you got over major surgery easily then I don't think that it is irresponsible to say so.

It would be possible to say too that if you harp on about how difficult and horrendous it was then potentially you could put people off who could benefit from it.

Thanks howl, FYI I’m young and fit so cheers for the implication I must be old and feeble because I didn’t bounce back like you did.... which is exactly why comments like yours and Lynsey are irresponsible

The problem isn’t the immediate recovery which can be very swift. Most people shoe up and about the next day to enhance their recovery.
The risk is longer term around long term HRT use and osteoporosis risk.

I have endo too and it typically doesn't help because endo grows outside of the uterus. I wouldn't because of the risk of complications and increased risk of heart disease.

My last surgery for endo I struggled with recovery and I was 37 and in great shape.

@Hellbentwellwent I don't see how telling the truth is irresponsible. Of course some women will take longer to get over a hysterectomy but I would guess many have the same sort of experience as I did.

My surgeon was adamant that, unless there were any problems, I was to get out of bed the next day and have at least a short walk round. Also to see if I could shower, which I could.

He said the advice to stay in bed for a couple of days makes things much worse usually.

A woman I worked with had a hysterectomy exactly the same time as me but in a different hospital. She was a couple of years older than me.

She was told she was not to get out of bed the next day. In fact not for a couple of days. She stayed in hospital for just over a week and could barely walk when she went home. I believe that was because of the difference in the way we were told to behave after the operation.

I had a keyhole hysterectomy which went pretty smoothly. I wasn't allowed to drive for 6 weeks and no heavy lifting for 3 months.
I was exhausted for at least those 6 weeks. Granted, on a sliding scale, but for the first week it was a struggle to even just shower.
I've no idea how I would have coped with small children.

I have PCOS, fibroids and endometriosis (plus had a septate uterus which led to miscarriage which is how I found out all the above - many women will have any or all but won’t know if there is no reason to investigate). After having my children I experienced 10 day periods plus flooding which was a nightmare. I was put on tablets to reduce the flow - they just delayed it and once I stopped them it began again. To the point of when wearing a tampon and pads on my 30 minute drive to work I had leaked all over my clothes and car - to my knees 😳
I requested the birth control pill and I have thankfully not had a period since.

You have other options.

The real problem is that an early hysterectomy carries the risk of health problems for you. It means going through menopause well before your body evolved to do so. It means a risk of bone density loss and heart disease. Now, you might have symptoms that are causing real known health problems now. The question is can those problems be treated in a less invasive manner? You have to decide that with your doctor, but The default should not be to skip to hysterectomy. It’s the last resort that you can’t go back from.

Have you asked your doctor about endometrial ablation. It eliminates or minimizes Periods for many women. It must be done in combination with other birth control, like a vasectomy, but it’s much less invasive then hysterectomy.

If you have Pico and endometriosis I think it’d perfectly reasonable, I had one at the age of 38 for the same reasons.

Op they will never agree give you a hysterectomy, you are too young and the health implications of having one you age is high.

I've never been able to take contraception without huge horrible side like you. And suffered for years with my periods, and was done having kids. So I had my womb linning lasered away and got sterilised at the Same time. Recovery was realky fast and no periods!

Why don't you talk to your doctor about having what I had done

@pintoffginplz - Is that a fact huh? Some of us posters had hysterectomies in our 30s. Apart from the usual risks of major surgery I fail to see the health implications?

You do not go through a sudden menopause after a hysterectomy unless you have your ovaries removed.

I doubt very much the OP would be offered the operation due to the fact she's only just given birth a month ago.

GP here. We're actually encouraged to avoid hysterectomy because of the risks involved with the operation and recovery. We are encouraged to advise pharmaceutical options or other surgical techniques that aren't a hysterectomy.

And when the pills don't work? What are the options?

The specialist usually discusses the best options with the person but when someone comes in for a referral for hysterectomy, we explain that it might not be the best or safest option for them and therefore they should discuss their options with the gynecologist who could give more specific advice about the risks and benefits to them as an individual.

I've seen a few women who have been sterilised for fertility reasons and although I wouldn't say any regretted it, there was a sense of loss for some.

I had a hysterectomy in my early 40s. I had large fibroids, one of which died which was extremely painful. When I was referred to a consultant, he pretty much recommended I have a hysterectomy if I was done with children (which I was), he said the alternative was fire fighting the fibroids for 10+ years. I had it done vaginally, retained my overies, so no forced menopause and the recovery was fine (2 weeks off work I think, but I was up and about after a day or two).

I know it's not to be taken lightly, but in my case, it has been brilliant!

A hysterectomy is not a form of contraception , the recovery time is weeks , you cant lift even a kettle at first you have to be very careful for a long time .You will need to take hormones to avoid early menopause .
You need either your tubes cut or your husband needs a vasectomy

A friend of mine had a hysterectomy ladt year , she had loads of problems and very long recovery

YOU do NOT go into menopause unless you have had your ovaries removed. FFS how many more times.

Women SHOULD be able to just ask for a hysterectomy but often can't. I had one, it was the very best thing I ever did and no, I didn't have lots of complications/problems/menopause afterwards. Don't be put off by all the doom-sayers!

I also had dreadful periods, terrible pain and no let up, despite lots of consultants, and two children. However, I'm older and so this was in the days of old-fashioned doctors and views. I'd looked at options - if I could have afforded to go privately I could have got what I wanted but we didn't have much money so that was out of the question.

I did it the 'long way round'. My son was diagnosed with a problem which could have been genetic, firstly I went to the GP and asked to be referred for sterilisation. They were very iffy about it all but I pushed for the fact that I'd completed my family and my son had a health problem. In the end they did it. It was in the days when my husband had to sign the consent (!!!) and the Registrar agreed to the sterilisation by saying "Well, I suppose we don't want your sort breeding, do we?" which was shocking....but I said nothing as I was getting what I wanted.
Sterilisation was fine, took 24 hours stay in hospital.

Two years later I went back. By this time we had moved, I had a new GP who we were vaguely friendly with. Told him I was still having period problems, since I could no longer have children as I'd been sterilised anyway, why couldn't I have a hysterectomy? The GP wasn't keen, said it was a big operation, not to be taken lightly etc, etc. But slowly agreed since there was no option of my having more children, he couldn't argue against really. So he referred me....

Yes, hysterectomy is a big operation and you do feel delicate and odd for a bit afterwards. But it was fine, the body heals and it's fantastic. No more periods, no more pain, no more buying sanitary wear, no dreading every month.

I felt absolute freedom after my hysterectomy, I have never looked back and I still think women should be able to have one on demand, assuming they understand fully the implications. You don't go into menopause unless your ovaries are taken out at the same time. And no, it doesn't affect sex or your sex drive.

In my experience, if you see a hysterectomy as being positive and freedom, you will (generally) recover well; if hysterectomy is forced upon you because of other health issues, or you see it as negative and "losing your womanhood" you will find this colours your attitude and possibly your subsequent recovery....

@pelirocco123 if you read my posts (and a couple of other people's posts) you will see that often recovery does not take weeks. Also it is completely untrue that you cannot even lift a kettle. A full kettle maybe but one with enough water in for 1 mug is fine. You are just continuing the old wives tales.

@pintoffginplz I was only 34 when I had my hysterectomy plus I had no children.

I kept one ovary and think I went through menopause mid to late 50's. I can't be sure because I really had no symptoms or problems except a couple of hot flushes.

I have had a couple of bone density scans over the years and each time have been told my bones are stronger than expected for someone of my age.

@HowlsMovingBungalow that’s true, but it’s also true that most women who keep their ovaries will go into menopause within 10 years of the hysterectomy