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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you knew when to push?

122 replies

BlackBlueBell · 26/01/2020 15:28

Did you know when you needed to push in labour? I ask because I’m kind of scared about not knowing again next time.

I guess I got the feeling but I never knew I needed to push because I didn’t know what that feeling was until the midwife came and told me I was fully dilated. Thinking back now I had that feeling to push for at least 30 minutes before the midwife came and told me, I was just writhing in agony, I remember she told my dp it could be another few hours before I gave birth, hearing that I just thought I can’t take this pain for another few hours so I gave up and begged for the epidural which I absolutely did not want, I wanted a water birth. The midwife went and set things in place for me to be moved to the ward to get an epidural, they came with a chair to move me and then she decided to check me, she seemed a bit shocked I had dilated so fast but thankfully I was able to have my water birth. My labour was 18 hours but I only spent 6 of that in hospital and I went from 6cm to 10 in about an hour so I appreciate she wasn’t expecting it but I’m quite scared I’ll forget the feeling to push by my next birth and I’ll be left waiting for no reason again, or what if I birth unexpectedly and have to guide myself. Thankfully there were no complications but this is another thing that worries me as I know you’re only supposed to be in the pushing stage for so long. Overall I’m really happy with my birth but it’s just this part that’s really bothering me.

OP posts:
RufustheLanglovingreindeer · 26/01/2020 19:06

I thought I needed a poo

When i realised i said I needed to push to the midwife

And she said no i didnt Hmm

Yes i bloody did!

seaduck · 26/01/2020 19:09

With both my two, the urge to push was overwhelming, I didn't have a choice in the matter. In fact, both times the midwives advised me to stop pushing and I couldn't. I do seem to dilate very quickly at the end, caught them by surprise!

Overandabove1 · 26/01/2020 19:11

Yes I definitely got urge to push. I was induced pain got really bad on antenatal ward midwife checked I was only 2-3cm dilated she said. She got me to walk to the labour ward when I got there after a few minutes I had a really strong urge to push midwives thought I was crazy until the checked and head was there! Don’t know how I went from 2-3 to 10 so quickly the midwife that brought me over even brought my magazines for me safe to say I didn’t need them!

Seaandsand83 · 26/01/2020 19:14

I had an epidural with my first so had no urge which makes it so much harder!! My second was a water-birth and the only way I can describe it is like the sensation of being uncontrollably sick...but err out the other end. My body just took over!!

Rainbowbabymummy · 26/01/2020 19:15

Yep ! With both of my little ones I knew when I needed to push. Both times the midwives didn't believe me until the done an examination and had me pushing straight away

Hoohaahoo · 26/01/2020 19:16

Not with my first child but I did with my second.
I had a wonderful midwife who let me stay in the bath, didn’t do any internal exams once I was in established labour and just watched me to see what stage I was at.
My body took over and I went with it. It was amazing.

Parkermumma07 · 26/01/2020 19:18

The first time I never got the urge to push and the midwife had to tell me when. The second time I couldn't of stopped if I had wanted to. It was like my body took over and did it all for me.

Runnerduck34 · 26/01/2020 19:47

Yes I did have the urge to push , was desperate to get them out and get it over with! however it took me til my fourth child to read that I needed to pant not push during the stinging sensation to help avoid tearing, fourth DC was the only one I didn't need stitches for !

SallyLovesCheese · 26/01/2020 19:48

I kind of felt like maybe I could push, but no-one was encouraging me so I didn't. It was only when the gung-ho doctor was about to get the forceps out that the midwife said "Let her try to push first", so I did and it only took about 4 pushes for DS to be born. So I probably had been ready to push for some time, but it being my first labour I wasn't sure about the signals and was looking for guidance. If there's a next time, I'm going to be a better advocate for myself in labour!

Louiselouie0890 · 26/01/2020 20:09

First time I definitely did, it wasnt a pain though it was this uncontrollable urge. I kept saying I need to push but she said you dont your 5 cm. Someone came in and told her to check me and low and behold I was more than ready. Unfortunately the urge went and it was so much harder to push after that. Second time though there was nothing she just said your 10 we need to start pushing but second one was easier. I'll always remember the first feeling it was so intense I imagine if I pushed he would have flew out. It was so hard to fight it as she said I wasn't ready do not push.

ButterflyBitch · 26/01/2020 20:28

With my son , no. He was stuck and I got told when to push especially after they gave me a spinal block.
With my daughter who was born in a birth pool with no drugs/intervention yes. My body kinda took over and I couldn’t have not pushed. I have it a bit of extra welly as wanted it over with but my body was doing it anyway. Completely different experience to my son’s birth where I didn’t know what was going on.

mrsm12 · 26/01/2020 20:29

I had an epidural on my first so no urge to push, second was twins, got the feeling of intense pressure on twin 1 and told the midwife I thought I needed to push but didn't get any urge on twin 2, doctor kept telling me to push and I kept telling her I didn't need to yet (only 9 minutes between them).
Last baby had an overwhelming urge to push and there was no way i could have stopped it.

Bluewavescrashing · 26/01/2020 20:34

Not with first- epidural due to horrendous back to back position. Baby's spine grating on mine. 🙄

With my second the pain was so much less that I suddenly needed to push whilst still at home. DH shoved me in his car, we left DD with the neighbours and baby was very nearly born in the car. I had 2 puffs of gas and air. After he popped out the midwife asked who I was and if I had any maternity notes. No time before!

Buttonmoonb4tea · 26/01/2020 20:36

Didn't with my first due to epidural and not feeling anything. I just couldn't feel the pressure or urge and so ended up having a forceps delivery.

The second was very different. I felt the urge and my body did the rest.like @SciFiScream I made this deep noise almost like a drawn out grunt. Completely uncontrollable, as soon as the midwife heard this, she said I was involuntary pushing. My mum said she did the same and my sister said she did this also.

It's like your body just starts taking over and produces noises too Grin

DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld · 26/01/2020 20:53

Yes. It was like doing a reverse sick and made me go ooooouurrrghhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Poetryinaction · 26/01/2020 20:56

No I never got the urge to push with any of my 3.

Bluerussian · 26/01/2020 20:58

It just happens naturally, there's a change in labour and suddenly you get down to business. Please don't worry about it in advance, when you get to that stage you know it's all happening and it is quite exciting.

Lipperfromchipper · 26/01/2020 20:59

Good lord YES!! It was so overwhelming, I just had to push or I would get sick...3 pushes for both and they were out!! I think I was pushing for about 15mins.

MerryDeath · 26/01/2020 21:15

nope. 2 pain relief free 'normal' labours and both times i was at the point where i'd had enough, asking for drugs, in agony, and being told I'm fully dilated and there is nothing they can do i've just got to push. news to me! i definitely didn't have an urge to push only an urge to dissociate from my body Confused i do recall the midwife saying to the other midwife that i needed "guided pushing" which i assume means they had to give me a ton of encouragement which they bloody did i couldn't have done DS2 who was back to back without their... tough love.

Shodan · 26/01/2020 21:17

Both times I just felt like I was about to do a poo.

2nd time I'd forgotten that , was quite out of it on gas and air, was standing by the bed and thought "I'll just do this poo here and then get on and give birth" Blush I was in the process of doing that when the midwife came back in, got me on the bed to see how I was doing and said "Oh! baby's crowning!", Couple more pushes and I was done Grin

RandomMess · 26/01/2020 21:20

With DC2 the urge to push was really strong, with DC3 and DC4 my body just did it 🤷🏽‍♀️

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 26/01/2020 21:21

I couldn't help myself, I felt like I had to push!

OrwenOrdduOrgoch · 26/01/2020 21:22

Yup! Second stage of labour was 7 mins and three contractions long.

PuttingouttheFirewithGasoline · 26/01/2020 21:33

My body birthed my baby not me.
I was a passenger. I didn't push, my body just went into pushing mode.

Wynturphelle · 26/01/2020 21:37

No urge to push with number 1 as had an epidural. For number 2 I had to think about pushing. With number 3 my body completely took over the pushing and I just moo'ed my baby out...coming, ready or not.