To ask if you knew when to push?

[BlackBlueBell]

Did you know when you needed to push in labour? I ask because I’m kind of scared about not knowing again next time.

I guess I got the feeling but I never knew I needed to push because I didn’t know what that feeling was until the midwife came and told me I was fully dilated. Thinking back now I had that feeling to push for at least 30 minutes before the midwife came and told me, I was just writhing in agony, I remember she told my dp it could be another few hours before I gave birth, hearing that I just thought I can’t take this pain for another few hours so I gave up and begged for the epidural which I absolutely did not want, I wanted a water birth. The midwife went and set things in place for me to be moved to the ward to get an epidural, they came with a chair to move me and then she decided to check me, she seemed a bit shocked I had dilated so fast but thankfully I was able to have my water birth. My labour was 18 hours but I only spent 6 of that in hospital and I went from 6cm to 10 in about an hour so I appreciate she wasn’t expecting it but I’m quite scared I’ll forget the feeling to push by my next birth and I’ll be left waiting for no reason again, or what if I birth unexpectedly and have to guide myself. Thankfully there were no complications but this is another thing that worries me as I know you’re only supposed to be in the pushing stage for so long. Overall I’m really happy with my birth but it’s just this part that’s really bothering me.

Two kids two different experiences and it seems I am not the only one - many on here don’t have the same birth each time. So don’t get too fixated on what happened last time. It is not necessarily predictive of the future.

Bloody hell, I couldn’t not push, the contractions turned into the most overwhelming force on my body that I had no control over, the midwife saying “don’t push yet” was pointless.

So for me, yes, I knew. 25 years later I remember it like it was this morning.

No epidural though.

Had my first baby 6 months ago. I did feel the need to push but the same as you I was unsure. I said to my mum I wasn't sure if I needed to push, she turned to me and said you don't get that feeling unless you're ready. I got to hospital 8.10a.m my DD was born 8.57a.m

I had the urge to push - Absolutely no control! I can only describe it as being like the same feeling if you have ever power vomited - it’s automatic and unstoppable - that’s what mine was like 😂. I have seen on One Born and the such where they say ‘don’t push yet‘ or ‘slow down’, I literally couldn’t have stopped.

100% with all 3 of mine I had an uncontrollable urge to push. I told the midwives who didn't believe me (I seem to labour very quickly) but agreed once I was examined and away I went.

Yes both times. Accompanied by a deep noise that I have never made before or since. In fact in the second labour when I started making that noise DH and I told the midwife - baby is coming. She was convinced otherwise until she looked and was really surprised!

Yes!!!! My stomach muscles just started to contract and push and very little I could do to stop! I was supposed to have had an epidural and it clearly didn’t work as I was like I NEED TO PUSH NOW and the midwife was like shhhh no you don’t. I NEED TO PUSH - CHECK! 10 seconds later waters broke, she checked, I was 10cm and needed to push/body did all the work. She was a bit embarrassed!

I didn't with my first, back to back baby and an epidural but it was such a obvious thing with my second, it was completely different experience and like my body knew what it was going so I found it much more empowering. I think every birth is different though, can only see what happens!

Yes of course, there was loads of pressure I couldn't have not pushed

I've had three natural births at home. The first two with no pain relief, the third with gas and air until my lovely massaging friend could get there.

Oh my, no question at all about when to move onto the second stage. My body just convulsed and pushed. I know I was lucky, all my second stages were less than ten minutes. An incredibly intense ten minutes

I was 18 with my first me and my mum will never forget me shouting "I can feel her!!" The pressure to push was massive , I had no pain relief at all not sure if that makes a difference. With my second , a son, I had the exact same massive urge to push I knew when I needed to. Again no pain relief, both early inductions. :)

With my 1st I remember the midwife saying let me know when you need to push&i just thought well what if I don't know. About 30 seconds later I had the overwhelming feeling to push and like pps have said, I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to. Completely different experience with my 2nd in that I never had the feeling at all. Not sure if this was the last minute pain relief that I had though

My body did the pushing without me consciously deciding I was going to. I felt a lot of pressure and then started pushing but not making a conscious effort to, only towards the very end with the last 2 or 3 pushes.

@blueMoon1103

That’s exactly how it was for me - very well described!

Did assisted pushing with DC1 (due to utter exhaustion after a 49h labour) and once I managed to get the baby 'round the u bend' then instinct took over.

Was animalistic with DC2 and DC3 (DC3 was an induction but only had x1 pessary and then all my own work!)

Yes, with all of mine, the pushing was basically uncontrollable, like vomiting (much as I hate to compare the two). I remember with my third, the midwives - home birth - had disappeared off to the next room with cups of tea and left me alone with DH. Then one contraction came and at the very end I realised I had pushed a little, and immediately the midwives appeared and said ‘you’ve started pushing, haven’t you?’. I was massively impressed with them as I hadn’t fully processed it myself and they must have been listening like hawks!

Pushing felt totally out of my control with second and third DC.

It was very involuntary. Like a reflex. My body seemed to know what it needed to do but my mind didn't. Was very empowering but also pretty scary.

I didn't with my first: it was 3 hours between me being fully dilated and DD being born. It sounds nuts to say I just didn't realise what I needed to do!

DC2 I knew absolutely when it was time and he was out in 2 pushes

I remember getting the urge to push with DD, she was born fairly quickly after that

DS2 i was induced and ended up havig an epidural, i couldnt feel the pain but i could feel the pressure

I remember saying to the midwifes, hes on his way, my body is pushing! I got all panicky and shouted "its not me pushing, my bodys doing it"

They had a look could see his head & he was born not long after. It makes me laugh when i look back, me panicking because my body was doing what its suuposed to do

Not at all but I had an epidural and forceps birth. I remember them all shouting "your doing it!!" I was so out of it I was like DOING WHAT!? 😅 So yeah didn't even know I was pushing

I'm slightly confused because my body took over and I couldn't help but push when it told me to with all 5 of my children. I only had gas and air though.

Yes both times my body just took over and I didn't have to think about it.
Have you considered having a birth reflections appointment to talk all this through about your previous birth? It will help you work through any worries.

No, no urge to push either time.

The only reason I did push was because the pain was unbearable and I knew that’s the only way it was going to stop.