To ask if you knew when to push?

[BlackBlueBell]

Did you know when you needed to push in labour? I ask because I’m kind of scared about not knowing again next time.

I guess I got the feeling but I never knew I needed to push because I didn’t know what that feeling was until the midwife came and told me I was fully dilated. Thinking back now I had that feeling to push for at least 30 minutes before the midwife came and told me, I was just writhing in agony, I remember she told my dp it could be another few hours before I gave birth, hearing that I just thought I can’t take this pain for another few hours so I gave up and begged for the epidural which I absolutely did not want, I wanted a water birth. The midwife went and set things in place for me to be moved to the ward to get an epidural, they came with a chair to move me and then she decided to check me, she seemed a bit shocked I had dilated so fast but thankfully I was able to have my water birth. My labour was 18 hours but I only spent 6 of that in hospital and I went from 6cm to 10 in about an hour so I appreciate she wasn’t expecting it but I’m quite scared I’ll forget the feeling to push by my next birth and I’ll be left waiting for no reason again, or what if I birth unexpectedly and have to guide myself. Thankfully there were no complications but this is another thing that worries me as I know you’re only supposed to be in the pushing stage for so long. Overall I’m really happy with my birth but it’s just this part that’s really bothering me.

And I didn’t have pain relief either time

My first was a messy induction, syntocin, hyperstimulated contractions, 3 epidurals that all mostly failed, I couldn't feel down below (thank heavens!) But could feel all the contractions and distinctly remember shouting 'I need to push, I'm pushing now, I'm pushing now' and I'd gone from 4 to 10cms in 30 mins after syntocin drip. I cant even remember the feeling but I definitely knew! Second I had off the chart contractions that were rolling into each other with no break and was only 1cm. Another induction gone wrong and ended in emcs but I had no pushing urge despite those contractions being absolutely unbearable. I think mostly your body knows.. I'm sure it will be ok and your body will tell you when it's time! Good luck!

It started happening involuntarily for me when I hit 10cm....

With my first two no, I pushed when told to.

With my second two I was actively trying not to push but my body was just doing it regardless.

I started pushing without realising that was what I was doing. I had been told I wasn't in active labour (they wouldn't examine me, or admit me - I was in the waiting/triage area) so - and sorry if this is upsetting - I actually thought that the pushing was the baby convulsing, because by that point I thought he was dying and that no one would listen to me. Finally got someone to examine me and they announced that they could see the head, so it was indeed time for me to go to to labour ward...! DS was born 30 mins later.

I didn't decide, my body took over and decided for itself - totally different type of contraction, bearing down rather than squeezing - took me by surprise. I wan't fully dilated, but baby was in distress and needed to come out, so they said go with it. Good job she was small

A bit- not much though.

I felt the midwives were frustrated with me a bit as I was having contractions, fully dilated, only gas and air, but no real desire to push.
I ended up pushing anyway, and babies were born, but not the ovewhelming urge I have felt others describe.

Yes but it felt better when I was upright as opposed to being on my back. That made a huge difference. I could feel the need much much better.

Any other position just felt like pain!

Yes I knew and I couldn't have stopped it if I tried.... it was me saying "I need to push", them not believing me, then finally listening to my husband who backing me up that they checked.... only to find I was fully dilated and she was breach 👍🏻

With an epidural no not really but midwife guided me and it was ok, without epidural yes I totally felt my body try to push.
I explained it to a friend like that feeling when you know you need to be sick - your body will naturally take over.
Try not to overthink it. Good luck!

Nobody had ever explained what the urge to push felt like so I didn't recognise it at all when it happened. I felt like I needed a poo and fought against it because in my drug addled state I didn't think emptying my bowels was the appropriate thing to do at that time. I was like that for what seemed like hours (probably wasn't) until the midwife got impatient and said 'Matt, does it feel like you need to do a poo? Yes? Well that's the urge to push, let's get a move on!'

It was overwhelming and involuntary.

Without wishing to be graphic I'd say it was like vomiting. I couldn't have stopped pushing any more than you can stop throwing up once your gut has decided it's evicting the contents. Sorry that's a gross analogy but it's the closest way I can explain it. If a midwife had said stop pushing or wait I honestly don't think it would have made any difference.

@MattBerrysHair exactly the same for me! I had a home birth with my first and keep taking myself off to the loo because I thought I needed to poo. I wishes they'd explained that better in antenatal classes! I didn't realise that everything is learnt/read/heard was all about contractions/getting dilated and I had no clue what happened once you were fully dilated!

If you can get onto your knees or squatting. It's much easier to feel that then! Also with second baby the head may not engage until you're in labour so you'll feel that pressure gradually increasing throughout the labour.

With my 3rd I was kneeling and I actually felt her drop right down as my waters broke and then she was out in a couple of pushes.

Your instincts are much better as you have more babies!

Were you lying on your back?

I did, but when the midwives put my on my back the sensation went.

I had an overwhelming urge to push with each one of mine. ( I have 11 )
I can remember saying ' I need to puuuuush ', and thinking thank god, no more pain. ( Contraction wise ) husband forgotten about due to gripping my thighs and going for it.
On my last birth I had an epidural and I still felt the urge to push.
I can only describe it as needing a huge poo as others have said.
It's a weird sensation as everything suddenly seems to be concentrated around the hip area, just like it is when you really do need the loo, followed by a slippery sensation when baby finally decided to slide into the world.

with my 1st i wasnt sure but with my 2nd i knew, had asked for an epidural but by the time they came round the push urge, feeling kicked in, they stayed and watched

The first time I didn't get the urge to push at all and she was pulled out ventouse. The second time my body just ejected him, I couldn't have stopped it if I wanted too.

I didn't really have a 'choice' per se, my body started to push by itself with every contraction. Unfortunately due to a lung operation the midwives really didn't want me pushing for at least two hours after I was fully dilated-absolute torture! They guided me through some breathing technique to try and stop the pushing but it felt so wrong when that was what my body clearly wanted to do.
My son ended up twisting into an unbirthable position and it all got a bit dramatic ending up in an emcs. Sometimes I wonder if he'd have made it out vaginally if I'd have not tried to stop what my body wanted to do but hey ho, he got out and five years later it doesn't really matter as much

With my last, the midwife told me to stop pushing as my midwife had stepped out and the cover midwife had no gloves on. I had no control and couldn't stop.

My body just took over and pushed ..I didn’t really do much ,it was weird ,my body just seemed to know what todo

I have 2 dc and both times I just had an overwhelming urge to push. It wasn't a conscious decision. My body did it itself. I had 2 fast labours, no pain relief at all either time. No tears.

No no urge to push at all, apparently my babe hadn't descended the birth canal and that's why I had no urge. Ended up with an emergency C Section