To think driving and the anxiety I feel will never get easier?

[Gretasmyname]

Posted a thread recently about driving anxiety-newish driver v.
Little experience and not had a car very long.
Been trying to go out little and often
To build up confidence
Main issue is manoeveres
Been going out at quiet times.
Went out today to big supermarket car park. Did a bit of forward bay parking which I did okay. Rushed though, as even though car park empty I felt it was going to get busy any minute!

Drive around a bit but hated it the whole time. Now I've got back all I can do is think if it!!it's all like a whirl and I am trying to replay it all in my head
Nothing comes natural. It's like an ordeal!
Will this stress ever go?

Are you driving a manual car? I think if you swapped to an automatic you might feel better as there's no chance of stalling etc it's literally a go kart

Missed your post about already having an auto. But good luck

I can't drive a go cart either!

OK, Greta - you can drive, just go out and get it over with.

Go get petrol - it will be pretty quiet mid morning most places. You won’t pull up in the wrong place - there’s no real ‘wrong’ place, as you can only fit your car in one straight line next to the pump anyway, and the hoses are flexible so even if you could be in a ‘better’ position it still works. People expect to queue a bit in a petrol station - once you’re parked at the pump you have to fill up (like everyone else) and pay (like everyone else) so a bit of queuing is inevitable.

You can do it. And park on the street, it’s fine! Maybe sit in the car with DH when he moves it though, and ask him to explain the reference points he uses.

And remember - you can come home any time you like! If the petrol station looks busy, or the car park at the supermarket is busy, you can just drive off. No one will care.

Go on, you can do it.

Ok I'm going out in about 40 min. Not petrol though. Not yet . Can't face the supermarket as it will be Busy even morning. I'm going to take the dogs to a little park. Close by but too far to walk. Just gotta psych myself up

It's no good. I can't do it today
It's now nearly 130pm and I've been looking at doing it all morning and still haven't.
I've wasted my one day off.

There is something to be said for learning young. I passed aged 17 and never gave it a second thought. Been driving 27 years now.

However, I have noticed the anxiety or fear of driving tends to be a female issue. I do wonder why.

I agree
And to the female thing

I dont know any men who are the least bit bothered though I have spoken to quite a few women that are

You can still do it...

I feel the same - passed in December after 5 attempts in 4 months 😳

Was so looking forward to the freedom but in reality I won't go out of town because I'm terrified of encountering things I don't know - we don't live near dual carriageways or motorways so I haven't done either and never had to overtake or anything like that despite living hear lots of farms!

I need to drive every day to so the school run and work but I'm used to that now and I'm fine unless it's busy.

squirrels
I won't today now.
Got to get dc in couple of hours and I've loads to do at home as only day off. I cant waste any more time dithering and over thinking It.
I talked myself out of the park as I couldn't visualise where to park on the street(no car park). Started imagining having to do a turn in the road or reverse when I left so wasn't worth the grief.
So digs went to usual walking distance park instead!!
I wish it was summer and light nights and id get up about 5am.

dogs

It does get get better with practice. Would it be better to have a calm passenger with you while you practice?

floozyat least you are going to work and school.
I've never attempted work.and school I've done once when I had no choice.
Massive stress. School road busy and id have never even considered working there , so parked on another road and that was horrible too.

I think someone with me if it was the right person might be helpful .I have no one to ask.
Too humiliating when they were how clueless I am. Especially DH

And like unsaid upthread, family are acting like I haven't even got a car!! Unlike work colleagues who seem to take great delight asking if I've driven to work when they know i haven't.

When they see how clueless I am

Push through! I've had crippling CRIPPLING anxiety with driving since before I passed. I then passed my test and then didn't drive for 5 years. I took a couple of refresher lessons and I've forced myself to drive and yesterday I did a 100 mile round trip all by myself. It was terrifying and involved motorways, multiple weird roundabouts and numerous country roads, but I did it. I wouldn't have believed you if you told me that I could do it a few months ago. I've been sitting and doing .a few minutes of controlled breathing before I set off as well. It's really helped.

Well done cheese
Massive achievement

Thanks. It's a massive achievement and I even went out of my county! It helps to break down the journey as well. Rather than looking at the journey you're going on as a whole, try and plan out each thing as a separate event. Also, I use P plates at the moment. It doesn't make everybody nicer but people are more inclined to let you go and give you more time to make decisions.

I don’t understand why so many women have anxiety over driving once they’ve passed.

It’s just driving a car.

@ACautionaryTale it's a physical reaction to danger. To me, getting in the car has numerous things that can go wrong both as a result of my error and the unknown of other people on the road. While I can logically explain to myself that the likelihood of anything happening is low my body would start shaking and I would find it hard to breathe.

For me it's more to do with the unfamiliarity of it all. Yes I've had loads of lessons and drove loads. But always felt like artificial situations.
Plus I had someone telling me what to do
I find the general mechanics of a car difficult to get my head round

How to control and move it in tight or difficult situations that arise.

Definitely chew gum as helps with anxiety cant remember why ..
I suffer with anxiety and anxiety of driving , have for years .I always think on going to have a accident of some kind .also I'm a crap passenger if sat in front .
I ve started using a hypnois download for driving anxiety and a separate one anxiety.
Can buy for around £10 on amazon or download from youtube .(free)
Hopefully will help.

Just come on here to reiterate what everyone else has said. It really does get better the more you do it. I passed in the summer of 2015 and for the first few weeks I would get really anxious about driving and a few occasions became tearful and told DP I hated driving and didn't want to do it. But I had no choice because DS started school not in walking distance and using public transport would be too expensive. So I HAD to do it. I avoided parallel parking and reversing into a bay for ages, but as I became more familiar with my car, the size, the way it drives etc, it became much easier to do these things. I used a sat nav even for short, local journeys just to familiarise myself with the journey until I knew it in my head. I couldn't imagine not driving now. Driving to the shops, taking the DC on day trips or to parties, it's so much better than relying on lifts or public transport. It WILL get better.