To think you don’t call your wife’s sister ‘sexy’?

[InnappropriateConversation]

Came across a Facebook message DH had sent to my 10 years younger, and very attractive, sister. She had asked him a totally innocent question and he had responded starting with ‘hey, my sexy sister in law’. Then sent another message straight afterwards saying that he had forgotten to add a kiss.

I am quite pissed off about it (I don’t think he expected me to see the message but he had his messenger page open) whereas he has minimised it as ‘banter’. TBH if he’d referred to a female friend like that I’d have been less upset than I am about him referring to my own sister like that. She is a younger, slimmer version of me and I know he fancies her.

AIBU to think he’s crossed a line?

Yes he’s crossed a line. Betrayal.

How can you bear him making it obvious he fancies your sister?

Yes it’s inappropriate

I'd probably end a relationship over this.

YANBU. What a creep.

I think he would be an exDH for me. YANBU - completely inappropriate

This Is the first time I’ve seen 100% unanimous on YANBU!

That’s just wrong and creepy

Creepy. And I'd say there's prob been other messages that he's deleted.. I'd keep an eye.

Yep. Definitely an ex. It's gross that you can tell he fancies your sister. And him calling her sexy is way over the boundary of in-law 'banter' or should be called 'twanter' because anyone who uses the word banter is a twat. Fact.

I’d be really creeped out if my BIL sent that in a message to me - is ‘banter’ a feature of their interactions normally?

What a creep perving over your younger sister. I would stand over him while he rings your dsis to apologise.
After that I don't know if I could live with someone with such a lack of boundaries.

I think you need a talk with hi..

That’s gross and probably made your sister feel really uncomfortable. Ew.

NOT ENVY. Awful for you and for your sister. What a position to put her in.

Urgh, gross! 🤢

That's really inappropriate, I'd be disgusted if either of my sisters' DH addressed me like that, and devastated if DH spoke to one of my sisters in that manner.

How did your sister reply?

He’s not just crossed a line, the line is a mere speck in the distance. I’d be beyond furious with him.

How embarrassing for her. Speak to her and give her your blessing to block him.

Yes, he has definitely crossed a line. And not for the first time if you know he fancies her.

They rarely see each other as we live far apart so I’m not concerned that anything’s gone on but he’s known her since she was 12 (we’ve been together 20 years now) and I’ve noticed he is more animated when we do meet up. She had a crush on him when she was a teenager and they’ve always been jokey with each other.

I was wondering if I’m over reacting especially as I’ve put on a lot of weight with my DC and she hasn’t which he has mentioned! We also don’t get on and had a big falling out a few years ago and it feels like a betrayal of loyalty to me as well as to our relationship .

I can’t hardly divorce him and tell the DC it was because he called their Aunt sexy but it’s a nice thought!

Eww creep.

should be called 'twanter' because anyone who uses the word banter is a twat. Fact.

^^ Definitely agree with this. It's the stock phrase of arseholes who try to minimise their creepy misogynistic behaviour as 'a laugh/just joking'.

Crossed the line, over the horizon and still accelerating

She replied ‘You’re crazy xx’

My BIL calls me sis, but that's it. It would be so many shades of wrong if he referred to me as his sexy SIL. Ask him how he would feel if it was his brother calling you that

Totally inappropriate 😮

I did Whisky and if I’d called his brother the same thing. He said he wouldn’t and if I did he’d know I was just joking.

Yes, it is. And I say that as the 12 year old sister.

Hes known her since she was 12? Ugh revolting!!!