They didn't use car seat!

[jollybobs89]

Ok so DD almost 2! Grandparents looked after her at the weekend for the day asked if they needed the car seat to which they said no probably won't go out!

Anyway turns out they did go out and took DD in the car with no car seat on MIL knee to a supermarket which was probably a 13 mile round trip!

DH has gone mental said it's not acceptable at all which it isnt! Caused a massive row as they said she was 100% safe that they are upset that we think they would put her in danger?! (But they did there was no need to take her in the car one of them could have stayed home) they have said that she was probably safer on MIL knee that she would be in a car seat!!! And said thats just what they do ?! They have numerous grandkids.

AWBU? To be mad re this?? They didn't tell us they'd gone out it was till a few days later we realised from pics they sent of having her.

Just don't want everyone falling out re this! But they won't hold their hands up and apologise they just think it's acceptable

I'd not be happy with this, in the UK car seats are easily available and mandatory they should definitely be used!

I think it is a generation thing though so I would still speak to them but they must understand.

Even if they are not happy that's just tough.

We often travel (with young DC), to a country where car seats are not the norm, my kids always go on laps like they would in a taxi emergency here and I just have to accept that risk. I know it would be better if they were in car seats, it's just not realistic when we are there.

If it was unacceptable not to use a car seat for a 13-mile journey, it should be equally unacceptable to take the child on the same journey at all

Don't be ridiculous.

They wouldn’t be babysitting again. I couldn’t trust them. It is absolutely not a generational thing my parents are in their 70’s and use car seats as do in-laws and car seats have been used for many many years now.

Pettycontractor Say what now? eh?

This makes no sense
If it was unacceptable not to use a car seat for a 13-mile journey, it should be equally unacceptable to take the child on the same journey at all, given they could have stayed at home. The difference to safety a car seat would have made for that journey is similar to the difference between making the journey with a seat and not making it at all. But no-one is threatening to cut off access just because the child was in a car for an unnecessary journey.

My MIL never used car seats for her other grandchildren.
Guess who does not have lone access to my DC?

This happened to me but with a friend.I was livid.

Do they use seatbelts for themselves? Same logic applies, as seatbelts weren't widely used until late 70's onwards. Fucking idiots.

It really doesn't matter when they were born or what generation they are. If they are of sound mind to look after a child, they are also capable of familiarising themselves with current safety standards and regulations. There's a whole load of other new inventions and rules they have had to learn since their childhood, car seats are no different.

What's weird though is you dont have to have a car seat if you are travelling in a taxi.Its still a car though.Does anyone know why this is?

Please could you link your source @PettyContractor

What a careless thing to do! How can they possibly say she was safe??? Yes nothing happened on the journey (thank god) but that’s not the point, if something were to happen, well I’m afraid to say what the likely outcome would be. You don’t need to fall out forever but I would definitely make it VERY clear they put your baby’s life at great risk. I wouldn’t trust them to babysit even again however. Seatbelts and car seats exist for a reason.

Also, do the give a baby brandy for teething? Seriously. My DM suggested this to me, just because it was the done thing in her day. How many other old school beliefs do they have that put your DC at risk?

@PrincessHoneysuckle because it many situations where you are using a taxi it isn’t always feasible to have a car seat with you, let alone if you have 2 or 3 children. You can really carry them around. I believe some companies do have some to use if you ask but goodness knows how they have been stored or looked after.

@Thesearmsofmine I do get nervous ds not being strapped in if we need to use a taxi.Youre just as likely to be in an an accident in one as a normal car imo.

What's weird though is you dont have to have a car seat if you are travelling in a taxi.Its still a car though.Does anyone know why this is?

Probably to make it possible to travel for parents who don't have access to a car seat but need to go somewhere in a taxi. It's very handy to use taxis in unforeseen circumstances, emergencies, hospital appointments etc.

@PettyContractor can you share the source of those statistics?

The WHO statistics for car seats suggest 52% injury reduction for 5-9 year olds, compared to 19% reduction for seatbelts only.

Your probabilities on rate of accident on the journey and likelihood of harm also seem off - can you share the basis for your calculations?

I'm nearly 50 and I can't remember anyone having car seats or using seat belts, lots of cars didn't have them at all as a pp said.

I remember sitting in the front seat while my grandmother was driving, she braked sharpish and I still remember hurtling forward and my forehead hitting the dash board.

I also remember seeing a friend in a car park and just opened the car door to go and see her- thank God the car was only going at a snail's pace

My ds always went in car seat apart from anything else it's the law FFS.

I agree @PrincessHoneysuckle taxis aren’t safer than a normal car but sometimes needs must. I don’t drive so there have been times where I have had to use one without seats for my dc and I hated it.

I do get nervous ds not being strapped in if we need to use a taxi.Youre just as likely to be in an an accident in one as a normal car imo.

I don't think there is any reason to be nervous, as you say the overall risk of an accident on one short taxi journey is very low. Obviously the lifetime risk of a car accident is much higher so I would try to minimise the journeys without car seats but occasionally I think it's fine.

What's weird though is you dont have to have a car seat if you are travelling in a taxi.Its still a car though.Does anyone know why this is?

Because taxis can't carry child seats to cover all ages 'just in case'. They'd have no room for luggage for subsequent passengers and would go out of business. Pragmatic rather than safe. However, if you pre-book many would have one or you can take your own

Safer on a knee than a car seat!? Are they on crack!!? I think statistics and the law are against them here. The fact that they arent even apologising would be it for me

@PettyContractor what the hell are you babbling on about? You make no sense whatsoever!

It's also not just about the car seat is it? It's GP we want it done this way, the GP saying no we will ignore you and do it our dangerous and old fashioned way.

I used to live abroad in a country where the locals drove like maniacs and never used car seats.

We expats had a running joke that went

Question: what do you call a toddler on its mother’s lap?

Answer: an airbag.

YANBU.

I’d go absolutely ballistic. Especially as you’d offered them the seat and the trip wasn’t any kind of emergency that necessitated both of them going and having to take the child.

The main danger to DCs in low speed collisions is from the airbag - they're incredibly powerful and quite capable of snapping the neck of a child, even if the actual collision itself was little more than a prang.

Older people didn't grow up with airbags fitted to cars as standard so don't seem to appreciate the risk - IME they seem to believe that the only damage that can be done to a child is on a par with the damage to the car itself.

There was an awful case where a 3 month old baby was killed in Ireland in a really minor accident as the Airbag deployment was strong enough to kill the baby - almost no damage to the car at all.

it is illegal and dangerous and they shouldn't have done it.

Regardless of whether they said they were going out or not I would have still strapped the car seat in their car anyway.
There could have been an emergency that warranted it.