Porn useage.

[RuPaulsSlagRace]

Long time lurker, first time poster.

Just curious really. What is it people find offensive about porn? Went on a night out with my close (male) mate's wife recently and she drunkenly told me she has banned my friend from watching it as she considers it "cheating". I respect her opinion, but I was intrigued.

I personally love porn although I only watch girl on girl. I am hetero, not attracted to girls. It's the fantasy that does it for me.

So AIBU to ask...what's the big deal about porn?

Do you really really not know why some women and men find it offensive OP ? What age are you, do you read ?

Yeah it’s a lot to try and explain but there are many reasons why people find porn and the industry of porn extremely harmful to relationships, to women and to the minds of the younger generation who are now growing up in a world where practically anything is available on the internet. I’d go onto google and do some research into the affects of pornography on the above points if I were you OP and then you can draw your own conclusions from there.

I'm 22...

Effects not affects, stupid fingers!

This isn't gonna end well....lol

Popcorn time....

I think you need to have a look at a few studies into the industry and the horrific reality that can be behind the industry.

🍿🍿

People have different boundaries surely that’s all you need to know?

Trafficking sexual abuse and violation of young women, violent sex acts, choking, rape scenes. The increased violence it causes in the wrong vulnerable mind men who may have never sexually assaulted before try as it as so normalised they believe women want to be raped, choked.

Because much of it shows stuff that degrades women & sends the message that a lot of violent, humiliating & dangerous practices are the norm: choking, suffocation, rape etc. Research also shows that things like rape porn normalises it & if the viewer has violent fantasies already anyway, it escalates them & soon fantasy isn't enough & they progress to committing the actual act. In addition there were two high profile murders recently where the men claimed 'rough sex went wrong'. They used sexual choking & suffocation as their get out: when they both had form for violence. I'm sure other posters will have more info but those are the immediate ones that spring to mind.

I watch porn, all my gfs do too. Might even watch it more than men I've dated. All straight women. I'm 33. Hadn't realised it was a problem tbh. No one I know has a problem with it. I enjoy watching fantasies play out and the stuff I watch is not amateur. One of the porn stars I watch is the daughter of diplomats and has done very well for herself.

Pretty much everything in this world leads back to exploitation - so ridiculous to feel guilty about it. I grew up in a developing country that forms a large part of the sex trafficking trade, and they aren't being forced into highly remunerated, productionised porn. They're sent to prostitution, sites on the dark web or to the homes of perverts. If Adult film has its place in healthy sexual expression, and I love it!

@JurassicParkaha
'all my gf's do too'
Can I ask how many gf's you have?

Yeah but this thread is not about the exploitaion of women in porn, it is asking why some women see the watching of porn as "cheating".

I saw another thread in here recently where a woman says that she caught her husband watching porn, could never trust him again, could never think of him the same way again and was distraught.

I really do not understand that. If he is an adult male he is going to watch porn. You are hardly going to be able to control what some one else watches on the internet.

Isn't it a very controlling point of view. And a very insecure point of view?

I have never stopped a boyfriend from watching porn. I watched it with him sometimes.

Having said that - I don't agree with porn or the exploitation of women in it.

But I kind of see it now as - it is there right now and legal - I will go with the flow, Iw on't actively protest it.

But I would love a world without porn - it would be a much better place.

I would definitely love a world where violent porn is illegal. Maybe we should actively start a protest.

Ah I want to say more succinctly what I mean:

If a boyfriend watches porn I wouldn't consider it cheating, because it is there right now on the internet.

However I am very against porn. I feel that alot of porn consists of violence against women, hitting women. This industry is not censored at all.

Porn is an incredibly powerful tool in teaching young men how to treat women.

Alot of violence from men to women in this world, is because porn tells men to treat women like that.

I just met a guy recently and yesterday he texted me that he wants to have sex with me and choke me. Where do you think he got that idea from ? He got it from porn. They see it as normal behaviour.

Porn is incredibly damaging in the world. I think as women we need to start being more vocal about it and get the violent stuff banned

Porn disproportionately exploits women and changes our views of the normal human body, and how women should be treated, in ways that is unhealthy. There are so many studies for how damaging pornography is.

I think if people need fantasy it's better to use erotica than porn.
www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/evolution-the-self/201104/what-distinguishes-erotica-pornography

Classy user name too.

@namechange1041 a lot as it stands. Didn't realise friendships had limits on numbers? Gf isn't sexual partner, it's to distinguish female and male friends. I'm female.

Another woman here who occasionally watches porn and l agree with @JurassicParkaha . Trafficking Is a huge problem but you cannot single out one particular area. There is a similar problem in fashion and technology manufacture.

Lots of porn originates from big time American production companies with American actors, not back street outfits. Likewise, home made porn exists.

It’s acting, but so is James Bond complete with high death rate!

Maybe the message delivered by porn needs to be altered, l agree. Female positive ethical porn is possible. More demonstration of female needs, what really works for a woman etc. And lesbian porn which goes beyond being male entertainment based.

Trafficking and underage viewing are seperate issues.

Have to say, while I understand parts of the industry are a misogynistic free-for-all, there is also a lot of female friendly porn available. And prostitution and female abuse/exploitation existed long before commercial porn. BDSM isn't around because porn created it... I mean Victorian era BDSM was very popular, loads of erotica on women getting whipped, choked and tortured. Whorehouses have existed since the times of Babylon.

If someone disrespects women, it isn't because porn told him to, it's because that's what he wants to do. It's complex psychology. And if someone is choosing porn over sex with his/her partner, porn isn't to blame, the person is. If my partner kicked off about my vibrator as 'cheating' because it was replacing his dick and bigger, I'd leave him! As long as you're not watching anything illegal, no one should be policing your sexual desires.

Because some people dont like their partner getting turned on by the thought of someone that's not them

Because some people have concerns about the ethics of the porn industry and the exploitation women involved

Because some mens porn use is so great that it affects their sex life - they can't get an erection without it, or they are so used to the 'death grip' of wanking that they can't orgasm through having sex with a woman

Because some are against porn in general because it is being used by young children and by the time they are sexually active they are so used to vanilla porn they are watching more violent stuff like rapes etc which at the very least gives them an unrealistic view of sex

Because most porn is very male orientated and this can lead men to think that woman can orgasm just from the pleasure of giving them a blowjob and cumming in their face

Because porn addiction is becoming an increasing problem and affecting relationships

I view it as cheating as they are getting turned on by another person.

You are 22 and you can not do your own reasearch into the damaging effect of pornography?