To not go to work today?

[Ritascornershop]

I’ve got chronic migraines, and they’re mostly under control, but in an ideal world (albeit one where I still had migraines) I’d take about 4 days off a month for the migraine and the recovery. As it is I take about a day off a month. But I still feel guilty!

If I’m not at work nothing much changes. My coworker still doesn’t budge from her desk all day, my work gets done when I return. I struggle to find enough to do as it is. And some days I’m just filled with dread at the idea of going in (& the dread is sometimes a pre-migraine symptom).

I don’t always know if what seems like migraine symptoms early in the morning (4:00 am) will turn into a mobster or of triptans will scare it off. About one day a month I don’t feel like chancing it. Then, on the days it stays a quiet grumbling, I feel guilty for staying home and flipping through magazines and napping. AIBU to stay home?

Sorry, monster, not mobster above.

I have great sympathy for your migraines but even one day off a month is a lot of sickness absence. And presumably you still get the other illnesses everyone gets occasionally?

I don’t think it is ok to take a day off because you might be developing a migraine when it’s this frequent.

And if work is pretty easy going surely you can leave early if you do become really unwell?

I don’t really get colds/flu, I haven’t had a virus in a long time (barring tummy bug last year, but that was very unusual). We get one paid sick day a month, it’s civil service, my coworker has taken over 12 days since September, so my 5 days don’t stand out.

It’s tricky to leave early as having migraines can seriously impede my ability to make a decision (neurologist confirmed just last week that this is very common), so once I’m there and getting worse it can be tricky deciding to go. Also I worry I’ll make mistakes while the migraine is brewing. And lastly, getting home always feels somewhat unsafe, negotiating traffic while I feel terribly disoriented. I once puked on someone’s lawn while trying to get home from work with a migraine. It’s not pretty.

Yabu. Very. I get migraines so I know what it’s like. When you have one you can do nothing.

You clearly don’t have one if you are capable of flipping through magazines.

I have migraines and I definitely can't think properly when I have one. I agree that sometimes you're bed- ridden with them and other times it can be a horrible murmer in the background which makes everything feel rubbish but not bad enough to be shutting yourself in a dark room. I sympathise. I also struggle with the idea of taking time off for the less serious ones, so usually suffer through them squinting at people, eyes streaming and taking loads of medication. It is rubbish. I wish there was a proper cure

You DO NOT get one paid sick day per month - that's the worst way I've ever seen sickness entitlement described! It's not a perk like annual leave, must be used every month

And as you've said, it's potentially dangerous to go in if you feel one brewing, as you can't drive home if it worsens.

Yes you're being unreasonable to have a day off sick every month.

I get migraines, I get a taxi home if they are unbearable.

Ffs everyone but Bobbin. @ThroughThickAndThin01 - maybe you’d like to inform my neurologist that he’s got it wrong and I don’t have chronic migraines and he can stop prescribing propanylol, triptans and Botox. I am relieved to be cured via your diagnosis.

And @nonsensicalmess - is this a different dialect of English situation? I’m not British, but where I live sick pay varies and it is how we describe our sick time here, I get paid for a maximum of one day a month, someone else might get zero, someone else might get 1.5. I do not see the problem? I did not suggest that it was mandatory to use 100% of the time, just that that was what was covered when required.

So you don't work for the civil service in the UK?

I work for the civil service in my country, I no longer live in the U.K.

Utterly bizarre attitude! What happens if you have 2 actual migraines in 1 month?

Is there any mileage in discussing this with your employer (with medical evidence)?

I’m just thinking if there’s anyway to work from home or have a running ‘tab’ of hours worked over/owed. Some companies would appreciate knowing where they stood and be open to workable solutions. Obviously there are some companies that are nothing like that and you’re better off carrying on as you are.

Then I would take unpaid leave. I usually have more than one migraine a month, I struggle in most of the time. Taking unpaid sick time is common in my sector.

Can you explain what is bizarre about not going to work with a migraine? And FYI some prodrome symptoms turn into a massive migraine with puking, dark room, intense pain, some with medication stall at disassociation, confusion, blurry vision, nausea without throwing up. For me they last at least 12 hours and often repeat for 4-5 days.

Would you take a day off every month if you weren’t getting paid for it? If not then you don’t need the day off

@Cornettoninja - my neurologist has suggested a temporary cutting back in hours to see if it helps, but won’t do the paperwork necessary as he says “it’s a Trojan horse” and he’s convinced he’ll be swamped with more and more paperwork 🙄 He’s told me to see my gp, but I don’t have one, so I’m going to see if a walk-in clinic dr will provide the necessary paperwork. The neurologist said he’ll confirm to a gp that it’s a good idea.

Thanks @Lambikinis - some people are bloody weird about work, and some people are that plus seriously uninformed about what it’s like to have migraines.

OP you seem convinced that you are being reasonable and are being a bit aggressive to anyone suggesting otherwise so not quite sure what you posted in AIBU for

Your work you do it.... Not your Co worker