To not go to work today?

[Ritascornershop]

I’ve got chronic migraines, and they’re mostly under control, but in an ideal world (albeit one where I still had migraines) I’d take about 4 days off a month for the migraine and the recovery. As it is I take about a day off a month. But I still feel guilty!

If I’m not at work nothing much changes. My coworker still doesn’t budge from her desk all day, my work gets done when I return. I struggle to find enough to do as it is. And some days I’m just filled with dread at the idea of going in (& the dread is sometimes a pre-migraine symptom).

I don’t always know if what seems like migraine symptoms early in the morning (4:00 am) will turn into a mobster or of triptans will scare it off. About one day a month I don’t feel like chancing it. Then, on the days it stays a quiet grumbling, I feel guilty for staying home and flipping through magazines and napping. AIBU to stay home?

Yeah, OP - I think if you had a different kind of illness you might have got different responses.

Not from me, and I get migraines.

If you feel fine you should go to work. Why are you asking if you think you this is fine?

I feel for you, OP, and know exactly what you mean. YANBU.

I used to get terrible migraines, sometimes 2 or 3 a week. I would vomit repeatedly, several times an hour. If I felt one was imminent, I would be scared to go to work because puking and dry-heaving on public transport or in a taxi on the way home is both vile and embarrassing. And then there's the not being able to see properly, which makes getting about difficult. And taking pills was no use at all because I just used to puke them up again.

People don't realise how incredibly ill migraines can make you. I've ended up being rehydrated on a drip in hospital before now. And some employers just think of them as a bad headache, and treat sufferers like lead-swingers (despite the WHO regarding migraine as a disabling condition).

Acupuncture helped me massively, as did topiramate. But what helped me most was identifying my triggers and avoiding them (mine include fluorescent light, some smells like cheap paint and paraffin, getting very hungry and getting pissed on an empty stomach).

It all changed when I had my menopause. I only get 3 or 4 a year now, they respond to triptans and if I get sick, I'll only usually throw up once or twice.

It can be tricky to guess what to do for the best.

I loose my vision with migraines so can't drive until it passes. If I have a migraine when I'm due to leave work then I contact them and explain that I will be in as soon as it passes. If I get one while at work then I just have to stop working but stay there until it passes as I'm unable to drive home.

I wouldn't take a whole day off 'just in case' I have a migraine; however I'm quite fortunate in that I usually respond quickly to medication. Your experiences sound more extreme.

I suggest you speak to your union / hr department / occupational health etc for some advice. Let them know that you have a long term condition and the impact it has on work life. Perhaps an agreement could be reached where you work from home if you're not sure?

Thanks lambi and lakie. I do get anxious when one is brewing, I think it’s like an early warning system from the brain, like the way people with allergies will feel a sense of impending doom when they’ve unknowingly been exposed to an allergen.

Mine are reduced in frequency from the Botox and propanylol, but some still break through. And I’ve had so many horrible supervisors behaving as if I’m lazy, skiving, enjoying myself, while I’ve been sick and frightened and vulnerable.

And yes, my vision closes in and the words on the screen get blurry - it gets impossible to work, but hard to get home. And yes, it attracts knobbers!!!

Thanks @mummyduckduck - I’ve spoken to the union and they’ve been very supportive. Most of the time I am at work, of course, and do very well at it and my boss is very pleased with my initiative and my attitude. I’m not having a chronic illness for kicks (addressed to a few of the other posters, not you).

Reading the responses you are getting you may be brewing a migraine best lay off MN for a bit

That’s a lot of sick days op. I’d be calling you in to have a talk about it if you where employed by me and I’d want a doctors note to ensure you weren’t taking the piss. If I employed someone like you my business would lose a hell of a lot of money as we couldn’t run all our classes/workshops etc without the proper qualified teachers and dbs checks, first aid etc.

I get migraines, they aren't a chronic illness Ffs.

Severe migraine attacks are classified by the World Health Organization as among the most disabling illnesses, comparable to dementia, quadriplegia and active psychosis.

But let's not have that get in the way of a good Mumsnet froth

I get migraines, they aren't a chronic illness Ffs.

Take a look at the NHS website and the chronic condition known as chronic migraine.

I'd have more respect for you if you went to work once you realised it wasn't a migraine rather than sitting about reading magazines.

I get them and they're awful: can't see properly, certainly can't think.

I wouldn't be able to go into work if I had one because I wouldn't be able to sit up!

On those days, you would be crazy to attempt to go into work, although I'm a bit puzzled that on other days, you can read magazines while waiting for them to arrive.

I suppose the real question to ask yourself is would you still take the time off if they didn't pay you? My answer to that would be that I would still have to take the time off, even if they threatened me with the sack!

What's your answer?

I have sometimes had to take unpaid sick time in previous years. I’m not taking the time because it’s paid. I’m useless at work when I have a migraine and I make mistakes when I’m that ill and then time is wasted undoing those mistakes. It’s to no-one’s benefit for me to show up.

If the migraine is not aborted with medication but doesn’t fully develop either then (for me) I can feel pressure, nausea, disassociation and foggy thinking - but I also get bored so will look at pretty pictures for a few minutes before reverting to staring into space. It affects people differently.

Migraneurs have an increased risk of stroke. Some people have to go to casualty and have injections if the pain is severe enough. Some people call a tension headache a migraine (& some tension headaches can be brutal). And then some people think “getting a headache” (even if it’s really a migraine) is due to lax standards and being workshy. I try to think it’s a nice thing that they don’t have to deal with it, nor the threat of increased stroke, nor getting over 3 dozen injections in their scalp 3-4 times a year.

Take a look at the NHS website and the chronic condition known as chronic migraine.

IMO it's not a chronic illness, it is a chronic condition though, yes. There is a difference.

What do you feel is the difference between a chronic illness and a chronic condition? How are migraines not an illness as far as you’re concerned? Surely being under the care of a neurologist for years and being ill should qualify? I am asking sincerely so please try not to sneer.

Ignore those saying you should go in, OP. Migraines can be so bad that their profound effects on your life are disabling.

Only you can know if you are well enough to go and I strongly believe that one's health is far more important than worrying about the workplace.
When you do feel well enough to attend, I think you should ask your employer about any reasonable adjustments they can make to help you in future.

I would be staying home if I were in your position.

I forgot to add that migraines can affect a sufferer so badly, making it difficult or impossible to carry out their day to day tasks, that they would meet the definition of a disability under the 2010 Equality Act, for those who are sneering.

@LakieLady "And taking pills was no use at all because I just used to puke them up again."

Zolmitriptan is available in a tablet which dissolves on your tongue and is absorbed that way, or in an injectable way, which thankfully aren't affected by vomiting.

"Although there are many contributing factors to the progression from episodic to chronic migraine, medication overuse is the most common. Over-the-counter and prescription drugs can cause overuse headaches. Overuse involves using pain killers, triptans, or certain other medications more than 2-3 days per week, week after week and month after month. This can create a headache-worsening pattern that results in more headaches and the need to take more medicine. Not only is the pattern itself harmful, but while in this cycle, treatments that were once effective often don’t work. The only way out of this cycle is to stop the pattern of overuse, which should always be done under a doctor’s care."
migraineresearchfoundation.org/about-migraine/what-is-migraine/chronic-migraine/

I get migraines so I totally understand why you can’t be in work for one. Any chance of working from home on the days when maybe one is coming but you’re not sure?

And I know you’re not looking for cures, but changing my computer screen lowered mine from a couple a week to a couple a month. And quitting red wine has lowered them to once every few months. (But I loved red wine ).

Actually not had one for ages now.

If I employed someone like you my business would lose a hell of a lot of money
Imagine saying this to someone with a physical disability or illness like cancer.

It’s horrible. I get them too. They do vary from person to person, so yes you can struggle on with some, and they are still awful I can testify to that. They just last longer.

I have medium ones that last two days each twice a month.

Occasional severe ones with actual vomiting and aura etc, and both are bad. The medium ones aren’t so debilitating but feeling sick, head banging, no will to work whilst having to actually be at work is bad. I hardly took days off as I’d be sacked if I took four days off a month.

That said, I couldn’t flick through Magazines... but I still believe you.

The sleep / food thing is pretty key, but as much is also hormonal there is only so much you can do. Since I now eat regularly, don’t diet, don’t drink tea or coffee unless it is a one off treat, and try and get the same hours a night, no hard cheese or red wine, they have finally got better.

@Retroflex I was only taking painkillers three days a month however even I began to worry it was just becoming too easy to gulp them down, and they rarely completely shaved off the migraine.

So I’ve stopped all medication completely and my migraines are better from lifestyle and diet changes solely.

I wouldn’t Advocate that for everyone though, best talk to your doctor.

Dieting was one of the worst things unfortunately. And I do need to diet, however lack of regular food is a common trigger.