Do you 'Expect' to Benefit from Your Parent's Will

[Pembsgirl]

My parents had nothing, so having no 'expectations' of an inheritance in years to come, I worked hard for everything I've got, but so many people own their own homes now, so am I being unreasonable in thinking that the vast majority of people these days 'expect' to benefit from their parent's Will, and wonder how they'd feel if parents left it all to people other than their children?

beansandcoffee did your dad not have a will? Or did he change it when he remarried?

Only child, very close to my parents who are relatively comfortable financially.
I want them to have fun while they are here- they have 4 holidays booked this year.
My priority is that there’s enough if they need care and I would rather have them than any money.
It’s likely I will inherit something though and they are already gifting me and DS a house in trust for rental income and a substantial sum of money to pay our mortgage off. If they don’t live 7 years it will be liable for inheritance tax though.

Auntymarys. He told us he had a will and had ensure that my mum’s part of their savings went to my brother and I. In reality I’ve never seen a will. He didn’t have enough money for probate so if there was a will I’m not sure how I would find out. My father’s wife is never going to let me see his will if he had one.

Beans I think Wills are available for public record . Not sure how you access them, I think my friend requested a copy from the solicitor.

But how does one know which solicitor a will is stored - unless you are told of course. I doubt my father wrote a will to be honest.

My dad died 10 years ago. I didn't expect to get anything from his will, because his wife (my step-DM) was still very much alive. She is 75 now, and I can't see her leaving this earth for a very long time. She has more energy than I do! I don't begruge her this in the slightest.

I do expect to be left something though, because she's told me as much. It will be split evenly between me, my step-DSis and my other step-DSis's children. That is what she and my DF decided when he was alive. She outright owns her home so this is what will be split.

I don't know if DH will get anything. He's been told he will, but MIL is working her way through her fortune at a rate of knots, so I can't imagine there will be much left (its a long story, but involves a string of empty financial promises which have left us dubious of believing a word she says) We therefore don't expect anything from that direction.

It would be lovely, but as DM is paying £900 per week for a care home, and she is 92, and expectation is she will live at least another 5 years (longevity runs in her family), I doubt there will be anything left. We have already sold a rental property she had, and now we are about to sell her actual home. As her only daughter, she did promise me her jewellery, but I found out recently she has given most of it away to my SIL....... I am trying not to take it personally (and failing).

@Beansandcoffee

www.gov.uk/search-will-probate

There doesn't need to have been a will, and you don't need the name of the solicitor!

I will look but I assumed you had to have left a certain amount before probate is required. Thank you

Not parents... but dh has a very wealthy uncle and they are child free. They recently bought a new 5 million pound house. They have no debt at all. Everyone expects dh and his brother will inherit, but I am a lot more sceptical. They are animal lovers and also very temperamental with regards to how they are towards family and therefore I imagine that most will be left to animal charities!

Yep, just have one sibling, and when the time comes we stand to inherit between us my mums ' estate' ( a flat worth about £150k and anything she has in savings etc), and my Dads share of his house now he is on his own ( share with two step siblings, house is worth about £350k, plus his savings which will come to be and sibling ).

Both not the type to leave stuff to charities etc , but they do have four grandchildren.

So basically I would imagine I would end up with @ £200k

All assuming the don't move into care. If they do, obviously we end up with nothing.

I know a few people now at my age who have suddenly become inheritance rich after losing parents. It's a horrible way to become financial secure for life, but there it is.

My parents were working class in rented council property. They never talked about money and funerals were mentioned maybe twice over the years. Mum passed first and Dad paid for the funeral. He told my Dsis that he had organized his will and funeral plan. We believed him.
Turns out he had not. He had lived very quietly and it was a huge surprise that he had about a years salary in his bank. We all thought he lived week to week on his pension. It paid for his funeral and after bills were cleared his 3 children had an equal split. The amount say of a small new car. It cleared my debts which had been hanging over me from my divorce 20 years before. So life changing for me.

I learned a hard lesson. I pay into a funeral plan and have a tiny insurance which I hope will clear any debts or costs I may have and hopefully leave something for my DD's.
I blurted out my funeral wishes to my Dsis and BIL recently. She was hurt, angry and shocked. But I just ploughed on and got it all said. So when I do go, hopefully someone will remember my wishes. I am still getting the nerve up to put it all in writing.

My mum died over 20years ago. She didn’t have a will but my brother and I got her death in service between us.

My dad, who is remarried, once told me that their wills say to split everything between the grand children. There are 4 kids and there are 5 grand children. So I guess that means I and my brothers and sister will get nothing, but then one of my brothers has no children, so that doesn’t seem fair on him. Plus my sister will inherit from her dad as she is his only child. But can they legally not leave anything to us children as we are in Scotland and someone said you can’t disinherit your children?

At the end of the day I don’t expect anything, who knows what will happen between now and then. Plus the way they holiday there probably won’t be anything left anyway, they have about 5 holidays a year, sometimes more. I often wonder if they won the lottery and didn’t tell anyone.

I know that myself and my brother are named as beneficiaries of my uncles will. His wife died a few years ago and they had no children and he changed his will to make my brother and I his next of kin. So I guess we will inherit something, but again that depends on what happens in the future.

Dh’s mum has no money, lives in a rented flat and I don’t think she’ll have anything to leave.

Dh’s dad however is very well off, he is remarried and they have lots of properties both here in the uk and abroad plus run businesses and FIL worked in a very well paid job. Dh seems to think that he will definitely inherit something from his dad and I’m sure he would leave us or our kids something which would be lovely but again I don’t expect it as you never know what could happen. I keep trying to point out to dh that they might decide to leave everything to the local cats home, or they may have to pay for care.

At the end of the day I’d rather have the people than their money.

He told my Dsis that he had organized his will and funeral plan. We believed him.
Turns out he had not. He had lived very quietly and it was a huge surprise that he had about a years salary in his bank. We all thought he lived week to week on his pension. It paid for his funeral and after bills were cleared his 3 children had an equal split. I learned a hard lesson

But he had organised a funeral plan? He’d saved enough to cover funeral costs. That to me is as much a plan than paying into a formal scheme. Why was it a “hard lesson”? He left enough for costs and for your to clear your debts...a hard lesson would be leaving you with nothing and all costs to cover...

I blurted out my funeral wishes to my Dsis and BIL recently. She was hurt, angry and shocked

Again at a loss to be why someone would feel “hurt, angry and shocked”. It’s sensible to plan these things so people aren’t left in the shit. My mum tells us what she wants all the time, i am certainly not hurt, she isn’t cutting me out her will or anything, or angry, or shocked- she’s elderly, it’s inevitable and at least everyone is on the same page and know what she wants.

I blurted out my funeral wishes to my Dsis and BIL recently. She was hurt, angry and shocked.

Why, @willowmelangell? I really can't see what's so awful.

Yes. I'm one of three and we have very honest conversations about it. We will each get a third of whatever they leave. They are quite wealthy. They are having a great time trying to spend as much as they can now though!

My FIL and his wife once talked about setting up a trust fund for our dd’s. money that they could use for studying or travel if they wanted. I’m not sure if it was ever done, dh seemed to think that he signed something to do with it once but he’s not sure. FIL has form for mentioning things like that then never mentioning them again.
If he did indeed set one up I know nothing about it, if they get it at a certain age or in years to come when in laws are no longer with us.
I’ve never mentioned it to the girls since it might not materialise. I don’t like to ask about it either it seems rude.

No because I went NC with my mother years ago.

I doubt there will be much left, the women in our family live into their 100s

My father walked out when I was 8

Dps parents were quite wealthy.

After selling the family home just before property prices went mad and buying a flat going on cruises 4-5 times per year and generally having a great time dfil died leaving everything to Dmil.
However there were death duties.

Dmil continued in the same vein. Now 94 she is in a care home at £1200 per week. Her Df died at 98

I doubt there will be anything left.

I have never thought about inheriting anything but Dp has

I think he will be very disappointed

My mum thought some kind of inheritance was likely - there was a fair bit involved. Her dad died. Her mum remarried, then died and my mum got nothing.

So I don't expect anything myself - I've always planned on the prospect of getting nothing.

My mother is only 20 something years older than me.

Even if their was loads to inherit, short of an accident I would be in my 70s or 80s before anything came to me.

Even if you had parents who were in their 30s when they had you. With average life expectancy. You would be at least in your late 40s by the time you inherited.

You are better going out to earn your own money and if you get anything to treat it as a bonus and not a vital part of your income

oliversmumsarmy I often think that too. My in-laws are in their 60’s/70’s. My uncle is 63 this year. It could be another 20/30 years before we inherit anything, if indeed we do.
My dad is in his 60’s and my stepmom just turned 70 so again could be another 10/20 years.

Dh and I would be in our 60’s/70’s before we get anything, if indeed we do get anything, which I’m not counting on.

I used to think that too as my Mum is 18 years older than me. Now she’s only 68 and had advanced dementia. You just don’t know how like is going to turn out.

@Oliversmumsarmy I know people who have inherited sizeable sums in their early fifties, and promptly retired. I won't though. But it can still be life changing.

But by the time you get to 50 I think most people are able to live reasonably within their budget.

As I said if you then get an inheritance it is a bonus.

I am presuming these people weren’t in a rented studio waiting for an inheritance to buy a house
I am presuming they were home owners and the inheritance meant they had the extra money to retire early.

As I said with average life expectancy. You would be at least in your late 40s by the time you inherited.