To think not everyone on benefits are taking the psss

[Greydrabday]

Background...
Me and OH both have worked until 6 months ago, when he became so unwell with his condition, he became unable to gto work.
I work 23 (going up to 28) hours per week.
So for the last 6 months we've been claiming UC to help with living costs.
OH is slowly getting better and looking for work now to get us back on our feet and not having to rely on the benefit system.
(we have a 1 year old too)

Isn't it funny how people's opinions change once they know you're claiming UC?
Had a run in with a friend today, who claims I have choose this path, I should work full time, and while I'm choosing this way, the tax payer (ie her) is paying for it.
That the people who are better off, have worked hard to get there...

Basically you're made to feel like scum if youre claiming any sort of help in the form of benefits or food parcels.

AIBU to think not everyone is taking the psss out the system, and some just genuinely need a helping hand until they are able to get on their feet??

Really quite upset at her comments.

I think most sensible people understand that people on benefits are mostly not deviously playing the system and laughing at tax payers.
I do think that some tabloid papers, and TV programs like the ‘reality’ ones for broadcasters like channel 5 (‘10 kids on benefits’ type titles), enforce the idea of a person on benefits as piss taking and have a lot to answer for.

She's not a friend. I claim UC, and my friends couldn't give two shits. Rather than judge me, they help me. My DP works full time.

Yes, some people on benefits take the piss. However, many more people use it in times of need. That's what it's there for. You have nothing to feel ashamed about. I'm glad your OH is getting better

What I find really frustrating are the people that think you should 'get a better job' if you need UC to survive. Do these people not realise that someone has to work as a TA/support worker/care assistant , and that that person will probably require help with paying their rent.

I work as a nurse, and even if I went full time, it still wouldn't be enough to cover the rent and bills (and my debts).
But if I'm working full time, it's more acceptable because I'll be claiming less in benefits?

I may be in the minority and get slated here...
but while my DS is so young, I'd rather have less money and be around for him, than be at work 5 days a week, doing 12 hour shifts, paying extortionate nursery fees, and missing out.

He's only young for a few years, once he's in school there will be time to go full time again.

Everyone can fall on hard times- that's why we have the benefits System. There really is no shame in claiming... Sometimes people need financial support because they just don't earn enough- that is a whole other thread.
However, yes the media has outed a few career claimants, attaching a stigma.

Change friends - she is obviously jealous and thinks you get something for nothing.

OP I think your ‘friend’ was very rude.

Benefits are a fantastic safety net to help those who need a leg up. I’m proud to be part of a civilised society that operates this way.

But if you choose not to work full time when you could earn more money through employment, then you are effectively asking others to part fund your choice. Many people will judge that, especially those families with two parents working and paying for childcare.

I wouldn't earn more in full time employment, my outgoings would be higher for nursery fees.
Hopefully my OH will get back to work soon, we won't need UC and won't be subject to stupid comments.

I'm still on the tax credits and income support system. I probably look like a bum but my 5 year old receives a high enough rate of DLA to qualify for carers allowance and she needs that support so I can't work. I don't care what people think.

@Greydrabday in that case if you would earn less and so would need to receive the same amount (or more) in benefits by working full time, then I agree it would make no sense in your circumstances. It sounds like you’re doing the sensible thing.

Ignore the stupid comments.
Some people are so narrow minded.
You do what is best for you and your family and everyone else can go fuck themselves!!!

I don’t think everyone on benefits is a scrounger.

But why don’t people think about these things BEFORE they have children?

Including the very real possibility that you may have a special needs kid?

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. The vast majority of people on benefits are not taking the piss.

I think the human race may die out if people stopped having children because 'they can't afford them'

What a narrow minded thing to say.

It's not that I can't afford a child,
It's bills and rent that are extortionate down south... That is much of the problem.

WitchesGlove

Because people dont have crystal balls! Things can be great for years and then go to sh+t! Thats what the benefits system is there for. Besides, saying people on minimum wage jobs shouldnt have kids is vile.

They need us to do the jobs they don't want to do. They need us to do the gritty, shitty, dirty, hard work they wouldn't do, and for less money. And they need us to produce the future work force of working class able bodies to do the next generations worth of gritty, shitty, dirty hard work. And then we get told we shouldn't get sick because we can't afford to, and we shouldn't have kids if we can't afford to, even though it's the shitty jobs (and worse hours) that make us sick and they need ours and our children's broken backs to build their mansions and multi-million pound businesses on, buy their products, and do the shitty jobs they don't want to do for them. They create a system in which we are necessary (but expendable) and where the answer to the financial problems we find ourselves in because of the system that benefits them that we just don't work hard enough or aspire enough. That we chose to be poor because of our bad choices and our poor work ethic, and not because we are just human and the same as them but without the money to buffer us from it.

This person is not your friend.

Take the universal credit, and know that you are appreciated. You are valid. You are needed. You are wanted. You are loved. And you are a human being worthy of dignity, respect and a helping hand when you need it. You are not your capacity to earn money. Everything is not economics. To your husband and your child and your real friends, you are worth thousands of times whatever tiny pittance the government have decided you are eligible for to keep you living at "poor" instead of "destitute." If you were being paid what you should be for those 23/26 hours then you wouldn't even need the universal credit.

Grey drab day- there’s already too many people in the world anyway- we don’t ‘need’ anyone to have children

And don't get me started on the crazy cost of renting...

I'll get off my soap box now

Lovesgood-

That’s what I said, I know people don’t have crystal balls. However, they should plan carefully for a rainy day and take into consideration that things may change before they decide to have children.

Honestly I think you need better friends op! I’m still on the old legacy benefits, but my friends are genuinely supportive. I’m also not likely to get off them any time soon, as my health is unlikely to get to a point where I manage working outside the home (a small home business might be a possibility). I think it’s a shame though that UC has a stigma that some of the benefits it replaced (such as tax credits) didn’t, as everything is now rolled into one.

Lovesgood- what’s ‘vile’ about saying that people should only have kids if they can afford it?

How many kids should people be allowed to have? Are you happy to support those who decided to have 10 kids???

YANBU and your “friend” is a sanctimonious dickbag. I’ve noticed this attitude more and more over the last 10 or so years including in RL not just on MN and it’s infuriating for many reasons.

Good luck to your partner with his recovery and there’s nothing to be ashamed about. The system is there to help those who need it.

Well, you’re giving two different messages there.

• You’re working part time and your boyfriend is ill, so you’re claiming UC.
• You’re working part time because you’d rather be at home with your child, and claiming UC

I don’t blame you for the latter choice, and I’d do the same. It’s a crazy system where the tapers aren’t set correctly so there is no benefit to work more hours. But honestly, I would go shouting about it - because if pound for pound you reduce your hours and take benefits instead, then you’re taking benefits that you don’t need, and people working full time with the same overall money are going to be pissed off. It’s the system, not you - but I’d keep my financial set up to myself. I would in any case.

If you and your DH have always worked full time. You’re only claiming back what you’ve put in the pot. I hope she ends up on UC herself. The cheeky closed minded sanctimonious bitch. Let her live on it (UC) if she thinks a life or anytime on benefits is such a lark.!!!
That’s all BS as well only the rich should breed. A pregnancy lasts almost a bloody year FFS. You could be a millionaire the night you conceive and a pauper the day before the baby is born. Life can move that quickly.

I see no issue with you claiming benefits OP...I will say though this statement royally pisses me off
I'd rather have less money and be around for him, than be at work 5 days a week, doing 12 hour shifts, paying extortionate nursery fees, and missing out
Some people have no choice but to "miss out" on their children's lives to provide- I am out the office Monday-Friday 8am-6.15pm- and Im no worse a parent for doing so.