To think not everyone on benefits are taking the psss

[Greydrabday]

Background...
Me and OH both have worked until 6 months ago, when he became so unwell with his condition, he became unable to gto work.
I work 23 (going up to 28) hours per week.
So for the last 6 months we've been claiming UC to help with living costs.
OH is slowly getting better and looking for work now to get us back on our feet and not having to rely on the benefit system.
(we have a 1 year old too)

Isn't it funny how people's opinions change once they know you're claiming UC?
Had a run in with a friend today, who claims I have choose this path, I should work full time, and while I'm choosing this way, the tax payer (ie her) is paying for it.
That the people who are better off, have worked hard to get there...

Basically you're made to feel like scum if youre claiming any sort of help in the form of benefits or food parcels.

AIBU to think not everyone is taking the psss out the system, and some just genuinely need a helping hand until they are able to get on their feet??

Really quite upset at her comments.

I meant full time working single parents

Sorry but why can't your DH do child care while you work full time until he gets another full time job?

He’s unwell

Going full time when you have a part-time contract isn’t a given.

"But why don’t people think about these things BEFORE they have children?

Including the very real possibility that you may have a special needs kid?"

Ignoring the appalling disablism of your thoughts and phrasing, you are saying that no one should children unless they are very rich.

@WitchesGlove so do you think people on minimum wage shouldn't be allowed to have children?

I don't know anyone in my social circle that could afford to work full time as a single parent (if the worst should happen) and afford to pay full time childcare fees without claiming any help whatsoever. Only higher earners can do that.

@Nochangeplease I'm a single parent, I work 25 hours a week, school hours. I do work in the holidays but the holiday club cost is huge!

I get tax credits. I'm not going back full time yet as wrap around childcare where I am is scarce, the school club has a waiting list as long as my arm.

Everyone's circumstances are different and it's easy to say "you should have planned for this", well I didn't plan on getting divorced but shit happens.

If your other half is at home why do you have to pay for childcare? Leave your child at home with him and work full time yourself?

I’m fully supportive of the benefits System!! I really am. My friends husband kissed her goodbye one day. Never came back. She didn’t have to work. He left her in many thousands of debt. She’s never claimed even child benefit before. She was always a hard worker. Left with a child she couldn’t find work that took into account she had a child. But by god she tried. She set up her own business. She worked her arse off. Truly did. She’s surviving. She has UC. She’s an amazing lady. However if she turned to me and said

I’m not going to work full time because my child is only lilttle. I don’t want too.

I’m not sure how I’d react. I was with you until you said that. You’re able to work full time. You’ve got debt. I don’t feel that’s what the benefit system is for.

Some people must be quite dense not to work out the maths on working full time vs childcare costs. I work 30 hours a week whilst my dd is at school and my ds is in
Nursery (30 free hours.) If I went full time I would earn £26 more per day but would pay £36 per day more in childcare. I would consider full time if it was a better paid, more rewarding job but no I'm not going to up my hours just to be worse off.

Some people take the piss on benefits. That's just fact, whether people like to believe it or not.

The majority don't. But it's the same even in the workplace. The majority of staff don't take the piss. But most workplaces have at least one git who sits there doing nothing the majority of the day, doesn't help, doesn't want to help. And still gets paid the same as everyone else.

There will always be lazy people who coast through life.

If everyone did what they could to not have to claim then people wouldn't think this way. You could increase your hours to support yourself it's rather simple. Some people actually need that money and if more people only claimed beause there was no other way then more help could get to those who need it. It frustrates me as a high percentage tax payer where my money goes

I may be in the minority and get slated here...but while my DS is so young, I'd rather have less money and be around for him

you could work FT instead of 23 hours. you clearly cannot afford part time as you rely heavily on UC. There is an element of choice of not doing full hours (and justifying it to yourself). If you cannot afford part time, you have to work full time. may mothers of very young children do/have to.

I'm under 40 and in 5 years will have paid my full state pension contribution but it says on the website I must continue to pay it as it cover benefits and others who have not contributed. How is this fair? I paid mine and worked hard even though I wanted to be at home with my baby. Why should I pay for someone that hasn't??????

No not everyone on benefits is taking the piss but alot of people are which builds other frustrations. It seems to be those on benefits are always the ones with the newest technologies and cars.

Your OH doesn't work though, So he could have you DS whilst your at work all day so you wouldn't actually be paying for childcare would you? The majority of us, I'm sure this includes your friend, don't choose to work full and put our children in childcare as an option but as a necessity. You chose to have a child, you chose to work less hours therefore if youve less money that's your choice. Deal with it rather than claim from the government. You can't have it both ways I'm afraid. Especially when your OH is out of work, could be months before he gets another job as the market is very competitive with so many people out of work, so in the meantime something needs to make up the deficit. Im presuming they were offering advice rather than being malicious.

I had a good job when I first had my children. Then I became a lone parent and I receive legacy benefits and work p/t. I'm currently retraining into a shortage profession and will likely soon be a higher rate tax payer.
Perhaps I should have had some sort of appraisal before having children. After all I could afford them, then I couldn't and soon I'll be quite well off again...

If your other half is at home why do you have to pay for childcare? Leave your child at home with him and work full time yourself?

How many people do you know that have had to give up work due to illness are able to run around after small children all day?

Why do you presume that a full time job is available just because the OP wants one? Indeed, if she has a part time job that essentially works for them as a family and her husband is on the road to recovery (which she has indicated), why would you give up a job that works for one that won't in a few weeks?

The benefit system was out in place as a safety net to ensure people don’t starve and have a roof over the heads.

As a society we don’t want to see people, the elderly, sick and children, in distress due to lack of funds.

I do think it has lost its way a little, and unfortunately there are people who abuse it.

However, your husband is ill. These are the circumstances in which society can help until he is back on his feet.

Ignore your friend. You didn’t design the benefits system and therefore are not accountable for its perceived flaws.

Iheartcake....
He doesn't work because he's ill with a long term cndition,
He hasn't chosen NOT to work, we haven't chosen this situation.

This is all temporary. He will find work soon, as hes prepared to do anything at all!

Before he got ill, he was working 28 hours and I was working 23, we weren't claiming benefits and managing fine.
It worked for us as a family.

I really don't believe people understand how difficult it is to claim benefits these days. I was unemployed for a short time in the 90s and I went to the office, gave my details, told where to sign on every fortnight, and I would get a cheque (giro!) a few days later. No questions - an admin formality.

My sister lost her job due to illness (eventually diagnosed as terminal brain tumours). She had severe anxiety and PTSD and I had to accompany her every step of the way and it was torture. People who had no apparent experience or skills were rude and challenging. Despite having several seizures each day, she had to travel 35 miles to be "assessed" (and I doubt this person had the necessary qualifications to do so).

She was allocated an appointment the day after brain surgery. I called them to say she would be unable to attend and was told "She'll be sanctioned but just write in and explain the circumstances and the payments will be reinstated. It might take a few weeks but you're not allowed to miss appointments." I asked what happens about her 2 children, her rent, her bills in the meantime as they still had to be paid for - I was told to put that in the letter.

What happens to be people in the similar situation that don't have someone to advocate for them and help them out? Payday lenders? Shoplifting? Go hungry? Turn off the heating?

This was someone who used to run a business that employed 25 people being treated like shit by an uncaring system. I'm know we're better off in the UK than many other countries but it's a brutal, undignified system

And for those asking why my OH can't do childcare if he's not working....
He has a chronic long term condition.
He has him when he can, but some days he's just too ill to be running around after a 1 year old.

We are managing between him and my parents.

I was talking about childcare when he gets a job... Which will be within the month as he's actively looking and speaking to people.
We will both be working, me 3 days a week and him 4 days a week. DS will have to go into nursery at least 1 day a week.

If I upped to full time, I'd be no better off because the extra I am earning would go on more nursery fees.

And just because theres the opinion to 'go FT' who says my current job has the capacity to make me FT?

YANBU

Everyone is ready to step in with their judgements. It probably reflects the fact that they’re not happy with their lot and feel cheated somehow.

At the end of the day, we have a problem with our economy. It’s not easy to earn a good enough wage in order to be able to support ourselves. Not without struggle for many.

The welfare state is supposed to be a safety net but it’s become a way of government subsidising for poor wages, because businesses don’t pay enough. Then those who are claiming benefits are the one pilloried.

Disgusting.

Of course people should be able to claim benefits. Sorry ppl are being idiots to you about it. Quite frankly I would have survived if my parents hadn't been able to claim benefits when they were ill and so ensuring that I had free school meals and just enough food at home.

He doesn't work because he's ill with a long term cndition,

but you said he is looking to go back full time. So is he ill or is he not?

I can see why people might criticise your choice. You are choosing to continue to work part time and claim UC when you could work full time. You are choosing that because you want more time with your child. That's fine but in my opinion the tax payer shouldn't be paying for that choice.

1 year olds are exhausting even for the most able of bodies so I dont think it would be wise for OPs other half to watch him every day and she up her hours.

mummyrocks1 I agree with your opinion, however OP has said they wouldnt be financially better off- if she just worked less hours to be with her son I would criticise her but why would you actively make yourself worse off financially.