To think not everyone on benefits are taking the psss

[Greydrabday]

Background...
Me and OH both have worked until 6 months ago, when he became so unwell with his condition, he became unable to gto work.
I work 23 (going up to 28) hours per week.
So for the last 6 months we've been claiming UC to help with living costs.
OH is slowly getting better and looking for work now to get us back on our feet and not having to rely on the benefit system.
(we have a 1 year old too)

Isn't it funny how people's opinions change once they know you're claiming UC?
Had a run in with a friend today, who claims I have choose this path, I should work full time, and while I'm choosing this way, the tax payer (ie her) is paying for it.
That the people who are better off, have worked hard to get there...

Basically you're made to feel like scum if youre claiming any sort of help in the form of benefits or food parcels.

AIBU to think not everyone is taking the psss out the system, and some just genuinely need a helping hand until they are able to get on their feet??

Really quite upset at her comments.

Without fail, on every single one of these threads, there's always someone who "knows someone" who gets their nails done and goes on loads of fancy holidays on their benefit money.

I don't discuss my financial situation with all and sundry and I don't know anyone who does, but it's funny how so many people on benefits are so keen to tell everyone exactly what they get and what they spend it on. The cynic in me would say some are just making it up as an excuse to benefit bash.

Wax- my friend who's close to her told me she claims benefits. I have spent time with my friends friend and know her hours and what job she does through discussions. I have also been on the ski trip with her and she's the one talking about the dubai trip to my friend.

@mummyrocks1 well I wonder how she'd feel if she knew how you really felt about her. Very two faced of you to be going on holidays and spending time with someone while gossiping about her financial situation and silently judging her. You don't sound like a very nice person.

Wax- I went on holiday with my friend in a group with others and my DH. We were invited by my friend. I have no control over who my friend invites on holiday. I don't gossip about her financial situation, this is the first time I have told anyone, except DH, about it. Not everyone has bad motives you know

How so people afford holidays on benefits?

Are they living rent/bill free with their parents or something?

I’m not sure about this - you’re choosingto work less than full time because you want to spend time with your son. Fair enough but I’m paying for it with my taxes from my full time job & not spending as much time with my DC. I would love to work fewer hours but we can’t afford it so I don’t. I’d feel aggrieved if you told me that too as a friend. Especially as it’s usually couched alongside the implication that by working full time I’m a bad mum.

Why would you work full time if you would end up having the same amount of money at the end of the month as working part time and having more time with your DC? Honestly? Just so a few people don't judge you? Screw that, I would be working part time and not feeling bad about it! The pension age will probably be about 70 soon so that's plenty of time paying in full time.

Well you've just implied that everyone thinks people claiming benefits are taking the piss, and you'd not have said that unless you felt that way yourself in some way, but now you're claiming the shoe is on the other foot, isn't it?

Welcome to how the rest of us feel. It's shit and it's not fair, but this is how people see us. I'm on PIP and because you can't see my disability, folks think I'm full of shit.

The most people not being net contributors is always an interesting argument but ultimately doesn’t give the full picture.

I earn enough that I am a net contributor, but, I have chronic health conditions and the people that keep me healthy enough to continue to keep doing it are, by and large. . . Nurses, like the OP! Who often wouldn’t be counted as net contributors, even when full time employed and off benefits because their pay is not high enough.

The OP's child is 1 years old. Her DH became ill 6 months a go... so they already had their child when DH became ill and unable to work temporarily so they never had a child knowing they'd need benefits!

I read it as you went back to work 23 hours a week after maternity leave OP and you don't really see the point in increasing to full time for the short amount of time your DH is out of work to then reduce it again to avoid the nursery costs? I don't see the point either. You keep doing your 23-28 hours a week and your DH will find something in time and to suit his medical needs. In the meantime, benefits are there to help bridge the gap. So what? It's only for 6 months to a year maybe! I cannot see any logic in you increasing to full time for 6 months to a year while your DH is out of work to then have to go and ask to go back down to 23-28 hours a week once your DH has a job again. Your workplace might not even allow it for one and then if they didn't take your request to go back down to part time, you'd be stuck paying nursery costs.

This is a temporary situation

I think (as has previously been mentioned) the issue is that companies don't pay salaries which are enough to live on!
I work full-time in finance for a very large, very successful company in the SW and earn the princely sum of 17k a year I was earning more as a nurse in 1997 FFS!!!
I rely on tax credits to keep me and my children afloat but it really shouldn't be like that surely??

Why are you not working full time?

If he has a long term chronic condition and is not capable of looking after his child, what makes you think he's fit to work?

@hopelessbusiness What is your job? That seems a ridiculously low salary for even the most menial of jobs, but you say you work in 'finance'?

I agree the issue is that wages aren’t high enough.

And Re the OP’s situation -so what even if they did have a child after her DH became ill (I realise that wasn’t the case here). Should people who are ill or disabled not be allowed children then? Should minimum wage key workers (hospital cleaners, porters etc) not be allowed children?

Without fail, on every single one of these threads, there's always someone who "knows someone" who gets their nails done and goes on loads of fancy holidays on their benefit money.

IME it's because there are a lot of piss takers.

I used to share a house with an EE girl whose best mate claimed child benefit and also worked part time as a cleaner without declaring it. My friend always moaned that she was always buying new shoes/clothes etc which she couldn't afford working full time as a PA.

IME it's because there are a lot of piss takers.

I don't think so, I think there are the odd few, yes, but that most are genuine.

@Mummyscrewedup I'm in exactly the same position as you. Had to give up a long career. Everybody has been supportive and kind, nobody has judged me and they'd get short shrift if they did. The only people who have been vile are ex-h and OW who tell me I'm lazy and workshy and have no concept of providing for myself. That is because they are utter arseholes who do nothing to support or help with DS. It is lost on ex-h that he walked out, cleared the bank accounts and left me in this position. I've seen both sides of the coin and I would NEVER judge anybody claiming benefits.

@Jargoyle unless she was earning over £50k then she is entitled to child benefit. Everyone gets child benefit. Do you even know the ins and outs of the benefit system? Because from your post you clearly don't.

The attitudes about benefits are out of date anyway. It used to mean help until you got back on your feet, but that isn't true any more. We created a system where the people doing the lowest paid work can't possibly earn enough to support themselves let alone put money away from emergencies. And as a poster pointed out someone has to do those jobs. Unless those with high paid jobs want to do them on some kind of rota system?

And having no job is part of the system too. I remember a politician explaining that it was essential that there not be enough jobs for everyone. if there were then people could hold out for higher wages and then where would we be.

But even before all this it wasn't anything to be ashamed of. It's like claiming on insurance.

DeTwamps - I'm part of a 5 person team who manage the payment of the companies invoices within the finance department. I've never had a bigger workload or been more mentally challenged - but such a low salary! Sadly I'm in Cornwall, and this is par for the course I'm afraid.

@mummyrocks1 do you care to share the rest of your personal circumstances? You say you choose not to claim benefit as you're choosing not to work and instead live on CM. You're studying, so does that include some student loan or grant to live off. You're a single parent, I assume given you have CM, if you are being financed as a student, have you chosen to take the grant available through student loans for loan patents?

Also, do you own your home, or rent? If owned is it mortgage free? Do you have savings, capital or other financial investments or assets. If so were they gifted to you or did you "earn" them. Do you claim child benefit for your children? If so, how long have you been claiming for and how many children are you claiming for?

So simply saying you CHOOSE not to claim benefits does not actually put you on some moralistic pedestal. The questions above are to establish if in fact you would even qualify for benefit. There are numerous situations where people who we would assume would qualify may in fact not.

I can't believe that people still think that you can afford holidays, designer clothes and new cars on benefits. Anyone who can do that has to have another source of income, whether legal or illegal.

DP and I had to survive on benefits for a couple of months and rather than planning holidays to Dubai we were more concerned with whether we could afford to put the heating on.

Yes there are always people who will rip off the system, there are also always big corporations who hide their profits offshore and landlords who charge extortionate amounts of rent paid for by housing benefit. I would imagine the latter two categories cost the taxpayer a lot more than those ripping off the benefit system.

Witches I find your comment extremely offensive. I married 25 years ago to a nice quiet man. No one in a million years could have predicted what would happen over the last 10 years which results in me relying on tax credits and DLA, my son and I suffering with cPTSD. Most of the benefits are spent on mental health support for me, my now ex, and dcs, which is not available on the NHS, despite me having worked and paid taxes for almost 30 years.

I hate all the judgement about peoplee
on benefits. Look at so and so on benefits with a nice phone (they bought it before they lost their job and now need it to apply for jobs) Look at so and so on benefits off on holiday (their parents paid for it as they wanted to treat their grandchildren as the family are going through a hard time) Look at so and so on benefits smoking (they have a serious mental illness and smoking helps them not self harm).

actual benefit fraud £ is TINY in the scheme of things. £600m Net (after the millions of unclaimed benefits are accounted for).

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/election-2017-39980793

Tax evasion however...

£35 BILLION p.a. is lost in tax evasion.

www.independent.co.uk/voices/hmrc-tax-gap-avoidance-billions-pounds-a8968591.html

Don't believe everything you read or see in the media.