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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think not everyone on benefits are taking the psss

212 replies

Greydrabday · 23/01/2020 15:02

Background...
Me and OH both have worked until 6 months ago, when he became so unwell with his condition, he became unable to gto work.
I work 23 (going up to 28) hours per week.
So for the last 6 months we've been claiming UC to help with living costs.
OH is slowly getting better and looking for work now to get us back on our feet and not having to rely on the benefit system.
(we have a 1 year old too)

Isn't it funny how people's opinions change once they know you're claiming UC?
Had a run in with a friend today, who claims I have choose this path, I should work full time, and while I'm choosing this way, the tax payer (ie her) is paying for it.
That the people who are better off, have worked hard to get there...

Basically you're made to feel like scum if youre claiming any sort of help in the form of benefits or food parcels.

AIBU to think not everyone is taking the psss out the system, and some just genuinely need a helping hand until they are able to get on their feet??

Really quite upset at her comments.

OP posts:
PatellarTendonitis · 23/01/2020 16:41

Your 'friend' is an ignorant, judgemental bitch.

Including the very real possibility that you may have a special needs kid?

Wow, what a nasty, awful way to describe children with disabilities and conditions.

Amylox · 23/01/2020 16:42

Very few people on benefits take the piss these days. It's not 2010, times have changed and moved on but a lot of people haven't realised that. We have a benefits system now that nobody would want to be in unless they really had to, these people are silly because the benefits system has been changed to what they wanted but they're too daft to realise. They've been frozen since 2015 and changes in the value of the £ and rising wages mean they've really been cut. There are only benefits for the first two kids.

The days when benefits claimants has massive TVs, the latest phones and gadgets, two holidays a year, several weekly take always and stabled horses are long, long gone.

userxx · 23/01/2020 16:43

But if you choose not to work full time when you could earn more money through employment, then you are effectively asking others to part fund your choice. Many people will judge that, especially those families with two parents working and paying for childcare

This.

Original poster
Greydrabday · 23/01/2020 16:46

@ellisandra
It is short term... I Dont plan on claiming benefits until he goes to school!!
Once my OH is back to work, we can manage with me being part time and him full time.
That's our choice.

OP posts:
Amylox · 23/01/2020 16:46

I don't think working 23 hours a week with a sick partner a 1 yo is unreasonable either.

Original poster
Greydrabday · 23/01/2020 16:48

@amylox 28.5 hours soon over 3 days a week.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 23/01/2020 16:54

He’s no longer a sick partner though, he’s recovered and looking for work again.
No reason why OP couldn’t be working full time - she has a career where it’s easy than most to pick up bank shifts, so she can work full time but be able to not work if her husband has a job interview, or stop the extra hours quickly when he gets offered a job - if FT for him and PT for her works for them as a family.

Right now, OP is choosing to work less than full time, and is picking up benefits as a result.

As I said - it’s the system, I’d do the same. But I would understand people who were working full time thinking it was taking the piss.

Butterflyflower1234 · 23/01/2020 16:55

No I'm not OP friend, I just don't agree with benefits for those other than disabled. You can all hate me as much as you like but you can be successful working and have a family.

Crinkle77 · 23/01/2020 16:55

Tell this 'friend' to eff off. Oh and they'd no longer be a friend.

MyDcAreMarvel · 23/01/2020 16:56

Why would you be needing childcare if your dp is at home?

PooWillyBumBum · 23/01/2020 16:57

Your friend is a dick. We are high rate tax payers and happy the safety net is there. Who knows, in 10-20 years you or your kid may be paying for us should our world be rocked by disability or another misfortune. Surely that’s exactly what it’s there for?

Original poster
Greydrabday · 23/01/2020 16:59

@ellisandra he's not recovered no... But better than he was, so wants to work now.
He got sacked from His last job because of his condition.
If employers were more understanding about long term conditions, it would be easier for people to stay in work while ill.

OP posts:
Original poster
Greydrabday · 23/01/2020 17:02

And not have to claim benefits at all...

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/01/2020 17:05

So what are you suggestion People should cancel their benefit claims and let their children just starve and go without basic necessities because you don’t like benefit claimants. Sorry sweetie but that ain’t going to happen.
Also where would job centre workers and work coaches be if a miracle happened this very minute and everyone in the whole of the UK suddenly got a job.

Ellisandra · 23/01/2020 17:05

If he’s recovered enough to look for work, is he not recovered enough to care for his child?

I absolutely hear you that support to stay in work when sick is much better, I hope he finds a more supportive employer, as this sounds like an ongoing condition.

But you could be working full time now, and claiming less benefits. Stop sharing your financial information with friends.

hazell42 · 23/01/2020 17:07

I'm interested to know whether your own view of benefit claimants has changed.
You are very keen to stress that you are not one of those claimants.
Was your attitude a little like your friends?
The truth is people who are lucky enough not to need benefits often assume that this is because they are clever and hardworking and virtuous, while those that do must be lazy scroungers.
Then they lose their job, or their spouse or their health and they realise that a lot of people claim benefits at some point in their life and for a variety of reasons. Very few of them permanent.
Rather than condemning, we should be thanking our lucky stars.

Ellisandra · 23/01/2020 17:08

You can’t seriously be suggesting that it’s better to have people claiming benefits to keep benefit advisers employed? Hmm
What an odd perspective.
Perhaps all the job centre people could be moved into HMRC call centres to help people with the queries on the tax they’re paying instead of the benefits they’re claiming? Wink

MyuMe · 23/01/2020 17:08

No. I lost my job a few years ago. Claimed contribution based JSA. I thought that was what benefits were there for. A helping hand when you need it and I have paid enough tax over the years.

brummiesue · 23/01/2020 17:11

This all seems very short term so I cant see a problem, your partner will be heading back to work soon.
If he was staying at home more long term and could do some childcare then of course yabu as you can easily do bank shifts to bump your pay up as needed.
I think this is a very good example of why it's best to keep your family finances private!

OlaEliza · 23/01/2020 17:33

Using benefits as a stopgap is not taking the piss. That's what it's there for.

Living completely on benefits if you are not disabled etc is a a pisstake.

Expecting handouts so you can stay home with your kid is a fucking big pisstake imo.

Hth

Pumpkinpie1 · 23/01/2020 17:48

Does she express the same distain about tax avoidance ?
Probably not, ignorant .......
The benefits system is a safety net for those is need. I don’t think until illness and disability strike you truelly appreciate our nhs and benefits.
My husband was diagnosed with cancer after we had been married for 2 months in our early 20s and I still remember how bloody hard and frightening life was being short of money , working full time whilst caring for him, hospital visits etc
That was before the scapegoat hate campaign by this government
I wish your husband better health soon. Take care

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/01/2020 17:56

if you are financially worse off working full time than working part time on UC I understand why you wouldn’t go full time. If the issue is I’d rather be at home the additional time and forgo the additional money from working with less UC ....that gets people’s backs up!

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/01/2020 22:49

But if you choose not to work full time when you could earn more money through employment, then you are effectively asking others to part fund your choice. Many people will judge that, especially those families with two parents working and paying for childcare

I can see why she commented. You’re choosing to stay part time and let others pay for that choice. It’s not what a safety net of benefits should cover.

BMW6 · 23/01/2020 23:08

Sorry but why can't your DH do child care while you work full time until he gets another full time job?

Nochangeplease · 23/01/2020 23:17

I’ll prepare to be flamed but I work in a school 4 days a week. My UC is more than my wage. I’m a single parent. I could try and get a full time job where I’m working in school holidays and there’s nobody to have my children, and be no better off financially beciase of paying childcare. One of my children would struggle with holiday clubs. I’d struggle in general, as do all full time single parents. Or I can continue claiming UC and have a good balance and be with the children in school holidays. Not exactly a tough decision.