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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this sexist car salesman

101 replies

PrettyTricky · 21/01/2020 22:35

Am irrationally annoyed with a car salesman tonight. Went car shopping and DP came with me. Have fancied a certain model for a while and was in the showroom looking at it.

Salesman wandered over and shook hands with both of us, then proceeded to entirely ignore me, but give my fiancé the hard sell.
DP was non commital and repeatedly pointed out the car is for me, not him. Not to be put off, the salesman continued to talk entirely to him about various financial options, all the while I may as well be on the Moon. He then turned to me, and I kid you not, said
"I won't bore you with the figures love, which colours do you like?"

I'm so annoyed with myself for not telling him exactly what I thought of his attitude at the time, as if I'm incapable of understanding finance options and negotiating for myself. DP was similarly disgusted and we left. I've now been put off that car altogether too.

It's 2020 for goodness sake, is this still the sort of shit we should still be tolerating?

OP posts:
Showmethefood · 21/01/2020 22:38

I hate it. Also hate it when a man comes over to talk to me and DH and asks what he does for a job out of general interest and not me. It’s like they see I have a kid and think that’s all I’m good for. 🤨

Witchend · 21/01/2020 22:40

I love it when they do that. I'm a far better negotiator than dh, and know far more than him. His knowledge stops with they have 4 wheels and need petrol. So I play bumbling female until I have the deal I want. It's great. Dh blushes for me.

NotTheLangCleg · 21/01/2020 22:40

Write an email of complaint to the dealership. Even better, tweet the email too.

BruceAndNosh · 21/01/2020 22:44

Should have said "with that attitude, are you offering this car at a 1950s price?"

Frenchw1fe · 21/01/2020 22:46

A car salesman told me to come back with my husband.
I told him I was buying a car not my dh and I wouldn't be returning ever.
It's a disgraceful attitude.

CornishPorsche · 21/01/2020 22:47

Fuckers. We had the same experience, only the words weren't as blatant. DH kept redirecting the guy, who kept ignoring me. I did snap a bit and start asking awkward questions about the engines, spec etc just to test their knowledge and piss them off before we left.

MsTSwift · 21/01/2020 22:47

I go to the post office a lot as self employed. The man behind the counter asked “do you work for a solicitor?” Hmm My response was “I am a solicitor”. Pause. Then has the cheek to ask “do you know anything about immigration law?” !

Mischance · 21/01/2020 22:51

I had all this nonsense when I went to buy a car on my own. Salesman asked if I would like to organise for my husband to look at it. Well.....er.....no.

I then clobbered him by showing him a print-out from the internet for a quote I had from an online company for about a grand less than the salesman was quoting. I said I would buy from him if he were prepared to match the quote ......long silence. He agreed! Job done!

Ridgarde · 21/01/2020 22:51

When I bought my car, the sales man wouldn't let me test drive it without my husband.
I took great pleasure in telling him that he'd have a job as my husband didn't drive and it was my money buying the car.
I promptly left and went else

Piixxiiee · 21/01/2020 22:53

I had this. We lived abroad. My do went for a test drive then I did (had baby with us) salesman chatted to do about car/finance etc. He gave me advice on babies as he had 2 kids.... I'm the finance person in our relationship and he actually struggled to discuss it with me back in the office as he naturally kept turning to oh who kept nodding over to me!! Threw him off guard I think but got a good deal!

cannotmakemymindup · 21/01/2020 22:53

I hate this type of salesman, irritates me no end. I know what I want, I know how it works.
Breakdown guy the other day, was lovely except when I said I'm pretty sure my cars battery is dead, dead. Like years of driving has taught me that sound a car makes where a battery is dead not just flat. (Maybe it's all in my head but hey ho) Still I think he thought I was a little silly until he tested it and it wouldn't hold it's charge at all. So dead then?! At least it got changed at the same time.

VivaLeBeaver · 21/01/2020 22:57

Do you know I’ve never had this.

I bought a car from a main dealer recently and didn’t take dh with me. Out of interest I asked the car salesman how many married women he gets coming to buy a car without their dh and he said I was the first he’d had. But he was lovely.

And when dh last needed a new car he sent me out to buy one for him as he didn’t have the time to do it and has no interest in cars. Whereas I do. Plus I like shopping no matter what the product is. It’s all about finding the best product at the best price. But the Ford salesmen were possibly slightly puzzled when I told them I was looking for a car for my husband. 😁

MsVestibule · 21/01/2020 22:58

"I won't bore you with the figures love, which colours do you like?".

I honestly can't believe somebody would say that in 2020 😀.

Eckhart · 21/01/2020 23:00

Email him with what you wish you'd said (in a dignified sort of format), and copy his boss in. Much better than saying anything to his face, and will have more impact and consequences for him.

MsVestibule · 21/01/2020 23:03

Out of interest I asked the car salesman how many married women he gets coming to buy a car without their dh.

What a bizarre question to ask somebody. Did it make you feel slightly superior to all of those women who need their DH to help them with this type of decision? Because that's how it comes across. And anyway, how could he possibly know how many of the women who come into the showroom by themselves are married or not?

StillWeRise · 21/01/2020 23:06

money talks
all you need to do is take your business elsewhere
if you are really motivated, tell them why
job done

Katkincake · 21/01/2020 23:08

Had this with estate agents recently. “Can I book a viewing please”, “yes we just need some details from you, what’s your husbands name”? I replied “don’t you want to know my name, seeing as I’m the one speaking to you” he was a bit flustered.

Also claiming on household insurance for something at moment. I took the insurance out, paid for it from my bank account, I put in the claim, I’ve been speaking frequently to claims handler. Got the offer through tonight via email.....addressed to DH Hmm

MonstranceClock · 21/01/2020 23:10

I had this when picking up my car from MoT. The guy spoke to my husband and refused to even acknowledge me. My husband who didn’t even drive. Luckily, my husband, the complete gob shite that he was, just said “why the fuck are you talking to me for, it’s her car.”

Highonpotandused · 21/01/2020 23:10

YABU for not saying anything at the time. Who are all these non confrontational women on MN.

ittooshallpass · 21/01/2020 23:11

I had a similar experience when there was a problem with my car.

The salesman told me to get my husband to give him a call so he could explain what the issue was.

I politely pointed out I didn't have a husband and if he looked at the paperwork he'd see the vehicle was registered to me, so he could explain any issues with MY car to ME!

He did at least have the grace to apologise.

Justaboy · 21/01/2020 23:14

I thought that this type of Oik had died out now not so it appears.

This happened to me ex some years ago that dealer lost a sale because of his attiude.

One down the way totally differing aproach got the sale some 20 grand!

Gibble1 · 21/01/2020 23:14

I had this when I went to buy a car a few years ago, chose what I wanted, found one locally and went along to see it. Told them I’d be back later with DC’s in tow to see if they fitted in comfortably. When I then went in to negotiate prices etc and said I’d buy it, chap said “don’t you need to ask your husband first?” Am afraid I laughed out loud.
When I bought my current car I did all negotiating over the phone, sorted everything out and took DH purely to sit him in the back to ensure that large people fitted in comfortably. He made it very clear to salesman that it was all for me. Poor salesman when he was trying to push their very reasonable finance ended up asking my advice on loans for himself when I told him I’d got one for 2.9%.

Grumpyunleashed · 21/01/2020 23:15

I once went to buy 2 cars for DP & me. I opted for the dress scruffy and see what service you get test. Well they blanked me and no one came out to talk to me despite being there for 30 minutes and the receptionist telling the sales staff there was a customer wanting service 3 times.
Finally the poor receptionist went and hid as she was so embarrassed. So I went through to the back of the place and found the owner. What luck he was there.
I very impolitely threw multiple fucks into him along with my tale of poor service and told him with pleasure about the 400 people who worked where I did and how I would do all I could to block any other sales by his showroom to colleagues.
As I walked out the front door I happily watched him storm towards to room all sales staff were gathered.

CharlotteMD · 21/01/2020 23:16

I'm sorry but I found that hilariously funny. Did your OH manage to keep a straight face coz i would have crack-up if that had been me.

Justaboy · 21/01/2020 23:16

Like years of driving has taught me that sound a car makes where a battery is dead not just flat. (Maybe it's all in my head but hey ho) Still I think he thought I was a little silly until he tested it and it wouldn't hold it's charge at all. So dead then?! At least it got changed at the same time.

If it were dead, It wouldn't make any noises!.

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