To be annoyed at this sexist car salesman

[PrettyTricky]

Am irrationally annoyed with a car salesman tonight. Went car shopping and DP came with me. Have fancied a certain model for a while and was in the showroom looking at it.

Salesman wandered over and shook hands with both of us, then proceeded to entirely ignore me, but give my fiancé the hard sell.
DP was non commital and repeatedly pointed out the car is for me, not him. Not to be put off, the salesman continued to talk entirely to him about various financial options, all the while I may as well be on the Moon. He then turned to me, and I kid you not, said
"I won't bore you with the figures love, which colours do you like?"

I'm so annoyed with myself for not telling him exactly what I thought of his attitude at the time, as if I'm incapable of understanding finance options and negotiating for myself. DP was similarly disgusted and we left. I've now been put off that car altogether too.

It's 2020 for goodness sake, is this still the sort of shit we should still be tolerating?

Was it a Volvo garage?

I had to walk out of the local Volvo garage when I went to look at their cars. The salesman was an idiot who refused to tell me price until I had taken it for a test drive. I refused to waste time taking it out if I couldn't afford it and although I asked 7 times he would not tell me the price.

DH also asked for the price 3 times. Even DH was surprised when I walked out.

Name and shame......do us all a favour!

I went with my husband to view and test drive a car..... the salesman showed us around the vehicle highlighting all the features but directed all his comments to DH When we got to the boot he turned to me and said “ and here’s a hook for your shopping”... it was the only comment he directed to me.( due to my feeble lady brain) I could see my DH catch my eye when he said it and I couldn’t look at him. We bought the car and God help anyone now who tries to interfere with my ” lady “shopping hook.

Yup, had this nonsense when I went to buy a car early last year.

My money, my car, DH just there to make sure he didn't hate it really.

Salesman just talked on and on at DH. I told the salesman I wanted a saloon, manual, higher powered model... he tried to sell DH an automatic estate at the lower end of the power range...

I told the salesman my budget and that I was paying cash. The salesman then tried to sell us one 5k over my budget and said "think about it, you'd get yourself into 5k of debt on a girls holiday getting drunk, at least this is something worthwhile."

I walked out. Closely followed by DH. Bought from a lovely dealership who treated me as the paying customer I am instead.

I clicked on YABU..

purely because you stood there the entire time and took his sexist crap...

I bought a car a few months ago. Went out to look at a particular model after a lot of research to narrow it down. Took husband and kids. Young salesman approaches and DH explains its me looking. He laughs and says “oh so he’s treating you”. After clarifying it was a for a new job and not a “treat” he goes on to criticise my choice of car, he was assuming it would be the family car with the two kids in the back. DH actually does most of the pick ups/drop offs.

I also had a neighbour suggest his builder talk to my husband about the work we mentioned planning. I was confused, why my husband - I’m always the one to sort out building work. I also know more about cars, DH has no interest in either despite being male.

Doing the paperwork for my car the guy passed everything to my (non-driving) DP, who proceeded to not even look at it and slide it across to me

He did this about 4 times and only stopped when I mentioned we had come on the train to pick the car up... you could almost see the lightbulb go off in his head.

"I won't bore you with the figures love, which colours do you like?"

Classic. I manage multi-million pound budgets, oversee the procurement and contract management process of those budgets. My husband designs chairs.

I went to buy a BMW at my local showroom. Salesman knows I’m waiting and eventually comes over and introduces himself. He asked if the man in the car park is my husband and I replied no. He then asked where my husband was and when I said I didn’t have one he asked how I could expect to afford to buy a car. I walked out, drove to another dealership, bought the car I wanted and made a point of driving it back to the first garage. I went and very loudly said I had a new car outside that I’d bought in different showroom and asked if I needed to register it there for servicing. I didn’t take it there for servicing in principle but wanted to show the salesman he’d missed out on a sale.

Can’t believe we still need to put up with this shit.

I'm just annoyed I didn't say something cutting in response at the time. Kicking myself now.
Seems like a bit of a theme with car salesmen then. I think I was so taken aback as I thankfully rarely encounter such nonsense these days.
My current car's going for a service next week - wonder what sort of reception awaits me at the garage.

the last time that I had a dismissive sexist git of a car salesman like that, he was so thick he undercharged me by £1,000.
I felt thoroughly vindicated in not telling him.
Also made a complaint about his behaviour and got refunded a further £250.

@MsTSwift I think it was reasonable that the man in the Post Office asked if you worked in a solicitors office, rather than ask if you were a solicitor, as generally junior staff take the mail. I highly doubt it was because you were a woman. Nothing to be offended about.

I think it was reasonable that the man in the Post Office asked if you worked in a solicitors office, rather than ask if you were a solicitor, as generally junior staff take the mail. I highly doubt it was because you were a woman.

I reckon the chances of a man being asked, "do you work for a solicitor?" rather than, "are you a solicitor?" are quite a bit lower.

When I was last shopping for cars, I asked to look under the bonnet. I had more than one salesman say, "I don't know anything about engines!" It seemed a weird reversal, going from assuming I would know nothing, to claiming they knew nothing, and I did wonder why they thought I would want to buy from someone who claimed ignorance about the product. The man I bought from in the end said he had previously been a mechanic, till an accident mangled some of his fingers. But mostly it was the best deal.

Other garages are available. But you need to let them know you are going to another and why.

Interesting to see BMW mentioned above. I found they are equally rude to both M and F.

I’d seen a car I wanted in Leeds BMW dealers. ( s/h right colour, right price) Went across, got there at 3.30 ish on a Sat. After 10 mins of me wandering a chap asked me if he could help.

Told him I'd like to see blue i3. Sorry its in our storage facility but we can bring it across in 10 mins.

Offered coffee. An hour later car turns up. No explanations after 15 mind, 30 mins etc. No apologies. I was all for walking out but car was what I wanted.

On its arrival salesman said little, would let me sit in it and he drove me 100 m up road in it. By this time it was nearly closing time. Wouldn't let me drive it.

Bought it on line.

Went back following week to pick it up - at time they specified. Kept waiting an hour. Was with oh this time. Not a happy woman - she had ‘discussions’ with receptionist (probably not her fault)

Crap service and probably even worse if I was female. I wonder if Id turned up dressed smart if it would have made a difference?

Its not going back there for its service.

Cracking car though.

However its not all bad -

My daughter’s female partner took their 13 yr old Renault to a few garages to ask about a new clutch. They all refused to do it saying it wasn't worth it. I was worried that they’d get ripped off.

Scots he asked if I worked for a solicitor. Why is the first assumption that I am not one myself? Im 45 not a wide eyed twenty something in my first job. Bet he would have assumed my male equivalent was a solicitor himself and not admin.

I got asked repeatedly by a salesman if I needed to talk to anyone before I bought my car and where EXACTLY the money was coming from. “No” and “my money from my bank account” seemed to confuse him

I invited a window company round once and they asked if my DH would be there too. I said no and they said he’d need to be to sign off any decisions! I enjoyed telling them the house was solely in my name so they’d be dealing with me. Needless to say I didn’t buy from them.

I've had a few experiences of this. My mum asked what millage a car had done. He said he'd have to get the keys to check, she says ok. He replied with "it's a lovely colour though, and the petrol goes in here". I had a really positive experience with my newest car though to be honest, took DH with me but as he can't dive and isn't buying the car they mostly ignored him apart from polite chit chat.
The worst experience I ever had was buying a sofa, I was there with mum and DH looking round loads of sofa places, settled on a big corner thing from DFS. The sales guy spent the whole time talking to DH even although I was paying for the bloody thing. I then handed over MY bank card and he turns to DH and says "is this her spending all your money" with hindsight I should have called him out but I was absolutely astounded that he'd even said it.

I have a meeting next week which will be interesting, the call centre person responded to my enquiry and after a talk with me by asking if they could see me and my husband as it would save anything getting lost in translation (fair enough) except he followed it up by saying my husband probably knew more about the boiler system anyway.... Well he doesn't, I do with all that sort of stuff and surely the fact that I made the initial contact should have made that clear. Poor person who is meeting us has a lot of ground to make up.

Deal not do

When I bought my last car I went and looked round various dealerships with my dad. I’d found somewhere that had the model that I wanted with a slightly higher spec/bigger engine than anywhere else locally had. When I said which car I was there to look at the salesman said to me “ooh the little girl wants to drive the big car” and laughed. I was twenty fucking seven. Needless to say I didn’t buy it, a couple of weeks later the same one came up at another dealership and when the first bloke phoned to ask if I was still interested I took great pleasure in telling him I’d got the same car for £1000 less and exactly why I’d gone elsewhere.

Yabu you should have pulled him on it. The reason why they get away with it is because they're not challenged when they do it, because if this they think it's OK.

Before you come on here next time whinging stand up for yourself and put him in his place if he doesn't apologise or change then I might say yanbu.
Until then anyone who moans about this but won't or doesn't challenge it when it happens won't get the thumbs up from me as they have walked away getting off Scott free allowed to do it again.

Fr0g good on you for complaining, it's the only way to stop it.

I bought a car from a Mercedes dealership last year. Me and my husband went to look at car I'd seen online. The salesman was in his early 30's. I told him from the outset it was for me. He was brilliant, no patronising, no bullshit and very respectful and dealt ONLY with me.

What can I say, not all salesmen are the same and in my view Mercedes are a cut above the rest.