Am I starving my toddler?

[anniefrangipani]

17mo DD, still breastfeeding, sleeps 7-7 with one or two wake ups. Naps 11-1pm, feeds to sleep, eats three meals a day plus one snack.

We started weaning at 6mo and did BLW exclusively. She has always shared our meals, will quite happily eat steak or pasta or gooseberries or whatever we're having. We've always tried not to make too much of a fuss of her eating, and just let food be it's own reward.

Occasionally she'll turn her nose up and refuse to eat anything at all. We don't make a fuss about that either.

She still happily shares our meals - tea last night was homemade burgers, brioche buns, mature cheddar, corn on the cob, sugar snap peas. She had about a quarter of a burger, a piece of bun, a few bits of cheese, half a corn cob, about five or six sugar snaps. She had a few bites of everything, but didn't finish any of it or I would have given her more.

Tonight's dinner is steak and cauliflower cheese. She'll have a couple of strips of steak, a couple of florets of cauliflower, a tablespoon of peas, a few carrot circles. She's unlikely to eat it all, though if she does there'll be more.

Breakfast rhis morning was porridge with dried cranberries and dried blueberries. She ate five teaspoons, which I would consider a lot for her. Plus she stole two raspberries from DP (offered her more, plus some ham, but she wasn't interested).

Am I starving her? I've never given her a whole packet of crisps. Or a whole ice cream. Or a whole slice of cake or a whole sandwich. It, frankly, wouldn't occur to me to. But every time I log on to Facebook, people with kids the same age are holding ice creams, and my mother has been complaining that I'm starving her since DD was 10w old (I have been ignoring her, obviously, but maybe she's not entirely wrong?)

AIBU by not offering enough food?

She’s underweight then?

Well this post escalated quickly. .

I think this is a wind up.... c'mon MN let's get a deletion message!

Of course you know you’re not starving her.
You use some odd language around food though.

Henry is quite good for showing portion sizes and it's surprisingly less than you think. I do tend to give my Ds a little extra to allow for dropping some.
What time is her last meal? Is she feeding herself with a spoon too, does she feed herself the porridge? I make Ds a weetabix and a half up because he likes to feed himself and I know some gets on his face/bib/table. But I reckon he still manages to eat a pretty much full weetabix. Same with porridge I'd always make him a bit extra.

I bet if you gave her a whole slice of cake she would eat it

I don’t really understand why you are feeding her off your plate? My kids have always had their own plate, just a smaller portion of whatever I’m having. Give her a plate and her own steak 🤣

Oh OP pride before a fall etc etc. fondly remembers the days pre toddlerhood when they ate anything

FWIW for someone who doesn't make a big deal about food you go into extraordinary detail about what she has or hasn't eaten...

I don't get it. You post about starving your child bit wont mention centiles etc? Why not?

She is 1,5 years old not a baby, by then they usually eat from their own plate with their own spoon or fork. You don’t ’offer’ food. And also, dried fruit contains too much sugar.

Do you SERIOUSLY think that you are starving your child? Because that is very serious.

OP I may be way off the mark here and sincere apologies if I am, but have you had your own issues around food in the past? Something about the language you use raises red flags for me. If your DD doesn't aleady have her own plate then remedy that ASAP - she needs that degree of control over her food.

God I absolutely hate food posts on here they always subvert into insanity, instantly
Why did you feel the need to tell us the burger was home made? Why?
Why are you basing your child’s diet advice on other peoples Facebook photos!
Starving a child is purposely withholding food from a hungry child so you know you are not doing that
Relax, keep feeding her your wholesome food and tell your mum to stop being rude

Am I starving her? I've never given her a whole packet of crisps. Or a whole ice cream.

This is a joke, surely.

17 months?

www.henry.org.uk/product/how-big-portion-chart-10-copies

Henry indicates a lot more than you're feeding.
You're allowing a dispute with your mother (who is right on this one) to affect your judgement.
You need to feed your child more than scraps, she's not a stray cat. And she shouldn't have to steal food from you or hubby. She should have her own bowl of everything inc raspberries and icecream.
Too controlling and it's worrying.

Everything in moderation. A whole cake, whole packet of crisps, fruit, veg, cheese, meat, I don’t make an issue around food. I don’t make her clear her plate & we don’t really do desserts.
My three year old gets a balanced diet, plus treats. She’s very small though, if she started piling on the pounds and her health was affected or only ate choc, crisps, chips, I would scale back. She doesn’t eat huge meals though. But she gets her own plate of food and can help herself to ours if she wants to.

Nah, this has got to be a wind up!

I don’t really understand why you are feeding her off your plate?

Me either. The DC have just had meatballs with orzo in a tomato and courgette sauce. 12 month old had his own plate.

I don’t see this post as boasting. If she had posted the opposite that she fed her child full packets or crisps and ice cream no doubt half the replies would have been pouncing on her telling her how irresponsible and what a terrible parent she is. Just my opinion.

https://www.nutrition.org.uk/attachments/article/734/BNF%20Toddler%20Eatwell%20Leaflet_OL.pdf

This is really useful and shows portion sizes for toddlers too.

Are you offering her drinks at meal times too?

Does she not have her own plate? I read it as she has the same as you, but I presumed you gave her a plate of her own. I wouldn't give Ds a full burger if we had them, but he'd probably have half and Dp would eat his and then the other half. I certainly wouldn't be giving him half of mine. Same if we do chicken breasts we'd cook three one being for Ds but he wouldn't eat the whole thing, Dp just eats the extra (tbf before Ds he'd still do three so he could have more).

But I put his food on his plate, just like ours. If he finishes and looks like he wants more one of us would give him some from our plate if we didn't have extra.

Question: am I starving my child by never offering a whole packet of crisps?

Stealth boast.

I was totally on your side OP but I was waiting to hear what her weight was, it never came. I don't understand the point of your post.

Sounds similar to what my DD has at 15 months and she's fine on her weight thingy. She just has a cup of cows milk at lunch and bedtime thought no BF - maybe that's killing her appetite for food a bit?

Sounds normal to me , not sure exactly what the point of this post is sounds more than my DS who is nearly 2 would eat in a day but tbf he can eat a full pack of Pom bears occasionally but normally throughout the day . My health visitor said it's normal for the appetite to drop at this age.

I've honestly never paid that much attention to what others feed their children but don't think he'd finish an ice cream or adults sized cake, maybe he would occasionally , I don't know , why do you focus on it so much?