Am I starving my toddler?

[anniefrangipani]

17mo DD, still breastfeeding, sleeps 7-7 with one or two wake ups. Naps 11-1pm, feeds to sleep, eats three meals a day plus one snack.

We started weaning at 6mo and did BLW exclusively. She has always shared our meals, will quite happily eat steak or pasta or gooseberries or whatever we're having. We've always tried not to make too much of a fuss of her eating, and just let food be it's own reward.

Occasionally she'll turn her nose up and refuse to eat anything at all. We don't make a fuss about that either.

She still happily shares our meals - tea last night was homemade burgers, brioche buns, mature cheddar, corn on the cob, sugar snap peas. She had about a quarter of a burger, a piece of bun, a few bits of cheese, half a corn cob, about five or six sugar snaps. She had a few bites of everything, but didn't finish any of it or I would have given her more.

Tonight's dinner is steak and cauliflower cheese. She'll have a couple of strips of steak, a couple of florets of cauliflower, a tablespoon of peas, a few carrot circles. She's unlikely to eat it all, though if she does there'll be more.

Breakfast rhis morning was porridge with dried cranberries and dried blueberries. She ate five teaspoons, which I would consider a lot for her. Plus she stole two raspberries from DP (offered her more, plus some ham, but she wasn't interested).

Am I starving her? I've never given her a whole packet of crisps. Or a whole ice cream. Or a whole slice of cake or a whole sandwich. It, frankly, wouldn't occur to me to. But every time I log on to Facebook, people with kids the same age are holding ice creams, and my mother has been complaining that I'm starving her since DD was 10w old (I have been ignoring her, obviously, but maybe she's not entirely wrong?)

AIBU by not offering enough food?

@Settlersofcatan

Too many sugar snap peas, they are very carby

No but you know you're not. This post is just to be judgy about people giving ice creams etc. compared to your wholesome sugar snap peas. Social media doesn't convey the full picture of most people's lives.

Absolutely this, despite what you say in your second post. It would be very obvious if your daughter was 'starving', she would be extremely thin, listless and generally unwell. YABVU. If your post was entitled 'should my mother stop criticising the way I feed my child' which seems to be at the crux of your problem then I think you would have got some very different responses!

Does your child look emaciated or otherwise unwell? No? Then stop worrying. No need for a stealth boast on MN that you don't give crisps or ice cream.

Too many sugar snap peas, they are very carby

Gosh, yes, you have a good point. Especially when paired with SWEETcorn. No 17 month old needs sugar you know.

And the gooseberries? I hope you’re cutting them into four pieces minimum? Choking hazard.

I seem to remember my kids being much better eaters at about 18 months when they’d eat just about anything ...the real fussiness ( with one of mine especially ) comes later .

Children have different appetites - one of mine can put away a lot more than the other

My daughter is 4 and I still don't give her a whole packet of crisps!
A packet of crisps is an adult portion, I give her approximately a 3rd of a packet and she only has them with her lunch.

And the quantity your daughter eats per meal is about the same as my 4 year old 🙈 she's a very small eater though and always has been.

You need to answer re percentiles. Your mother brought up athe least one child so knows what she's doing.
I don't like it at all that she's having to steal (in your words) from your plates. Why can't she have her own bowl or raspberries?

I would and did feed 17 month old:
Breakfast:
Porridge or one weetabix with full fat milk. At whole thing. Sometimes had two. And fruit - usually half banana or apple or grapes (halved). And option of toast with butter and jam.
Mid morning snack - fruit and biscuit and juice.

Lunch. Scrambled egg or beans, with toast soldiers or cheese and/or ham sandwiches. Fruit, cucumber and baby tomatoes (cut in half). Sometimes cheese on toast or jacket potatoes with tuna or ham/cheese.

Snack mid afternoon. Toast / muffin with butter and jam, biscuit, fruit, veg.

Own portion of the evening meal that we were having. We ate simple food to be able to eat as a family. Eg spaghetti bol or sausage mash and broccoli or tuna pasta bake. DC had their own decent portion, cut up small on own plates.
Dessert every day eg apple pie and custard. Chocolate cake and icecream.
Milk and sometimes rusks (baby biscuits by cow and gate) at bedtime.
Fruit and toast also available on demand all day.

My kids are both happy and healthy (and not overweight.)

17 months old isn’t a baby it’s a toddler. If she gets most of her intake via breastmilk then yes you are starving her. You need to give her, her own plate of food not bits so you can adequately monitor her intake and take steps to increase if not.

Ok then you know your not starving her stupid post .

Sounds similar, maybe slightly less than the amounts my 8 month old eats and shes steady on the 50th centile.

Also petit filous yogurts lots.

You're feeding a perfect diet, you're wonderful for not giving her crisps or ice cream so double perfect points... happy now?

🙄

I cdidnt think you were stealth bragging at all. I think your baby may need a bit more, Particularly carb, and that she needs her own plate.

it's just that I don't know many people posting photos of their kid smiling on the beach with a head of broccoli.

Oh the faux naïveté. People post social media pics of fun family times. Kid licking granda’s ice cream, clutching the last dregs of dad’s pack of crisps. People do not usually post kids holding entire kitchen consumables. But you go ok dear. You are better than everyone else. No pombears for your precious one, only handpicked boastnuggets and freeze dried bragberries.

My Ds eat similar, also did blw and he’s still breastfeeding (but only really before bed) he’s 15 months. He usually finishes his food though and will usually have a bit more, he sleeps through completely.
I definitely don’t feel like I’m starving him.

He has eaten a full ice cream though, Dp bought one for him and Ds to share thinking Ds wouldn’t eat it all and well no way once he had hold of that was his dad getting it 😂

Easy - is your child a healthy weight for her age and height? If so, carry on and ignore anyone else's opinion (unless it's your health visitor / GP / someone with child health qualifications who has a legitimate concern for some reason). If she is underweight then encourage her to eat a bit more.

You should give her more than you think she'll eat and not depend on her asking for more or agreeing to accept more. That way you can gauge her appetite properly.

What are her weight and height percentiles?

Maybe the milk thing too. My kid is literally half your DD age and only has one milk feed at bedtime now.
Has a cup of milk with breakfast in the morning. No feeds during the day and sleeps 7-7 with no feeds at night.
Is doing half spoon and half BLW eats three "meals" a day.

@Bananacloud I did BLW with my twins. So easy. One of their first foods was strips of steak, at they just sucked on them, a lot
You really don't have to feed them puree/mush, just whatever you eat minus the salt.

@anniefrangipani Sound fine to me.

maybe she doesn’t finish food because she doesn’t like it?

My son is also 17 months. He eats a lot more than that. Loads of fruit and veg, plus parts of our meals, plus snacks including the odd half bag of quavers, a chocolate chip brioche etc. Healthy weight. Still bf too.

I agree with others though, stealth boast.

The only thing I would add is that she doesnt need to be sharing, she needs her own plated up food and then she can eat or leave what she wants. If she seems keen on one particular thing you can offer her more of it, even if she hasnt finished the other stuff. You may well be doing this but its not clear from your post if you just offer her bits of your food rather than stuff herself. Having a meal together can sometimes be more than simply being offered bits off someone eleses dish - having her own plate and watching both you and your husband eat from your plates can influence her to eat from her plate.
Id be tempted to offer more rather than less. Sometimes people eat, rest a bit, and then go back to eating. But if its been whipped away there is no chance of that. Also snacks in the day - do you offer plenty. Kids have little tummies - so little and often is much better than sticking to 3 square meals

how does she compare size wise to her peers

if there are no underlying health issues then she should be somewhere along the same size.

Does she have the energy to run and play.

I only say this because my daughter had undiagnosed cystic fibrosis and was suffering from massive malnutrition (Im not saying you DD has at all here) She was literally starving BUT she never asked for more food and until around age 3 was running around etc. So her only eating a tiny bit may not necessarily mean that she is full.

I’ve been on Munster for a very long time and this is the most unstealthy stealth boast! Why haven’t you included her weight and height? And do you seriously have to include the fact you e never given her a whole ice cream? Well done! Here’s my first biscuit

No pombears for your precious one, only handpicked boastnuggets and freeze dried bragberries.

This thread is hilarious.