Am I starving my toddler?

[anniefrangipani]

17mo DD, still breastfeeding, sleeps 7-7 with one or two wake ups. Naps 11-1pm, feeds to sleep, eats three meals a day plus one snack.

We started weaning at 6mo and did BLW exclusively. She has always shared our meals, will quite happily eat steak or pasta or gooseberries or whatever we're having. We've always tried not to make too much of a fuss of her eating, and just let food be it's own reward.

Occasionally she'll turn her nose up and refuse to eat anything at all. We don't make a fuss about that either.

She still happily shares our meals - tea last night was homemade burgers, brioche buns, mature cheddar, corn on the cob, sugar snap peas. She had about a quarter of a burger, a piece of bun, a few bits of cheese, half a corn cob, about five or six sugar snaps. She had a few bites of everything, but didn't finish any of it or I would have given her more.

Tonight's dinner is steak and cauliflower cheese. She'll have a couple of strips of steak, a couple of florets of cauliflower, a tablespoon of peas, a few carrot circles. She's unlikely to eat it all, though if she does there'll be more.

Breakfast rhis morning was porridge with dried cranberries and dried blueberries. She ate five teaspoons, which I would consider a lot for her. Plus she stole two raspberries from DP (offered her more, plus some ham, but she wasn't interested).

Am I starving her? I've never given her a whole packet of crisps. Or a whole ice cream. Or a whole slice of cake or a whole sandwich. It, frankly, wouldn't occur to me to. But every time I log on to Facebook, people with kids the same age are holding ice creams, and my mother has been complaining that I'm starving her since DD was 10w old (I have been ignoring her, obviously, but maybe she's not entirely wrong?)

AIBU by not offering enough food?

Op people can't comment if you don't give her height and weight etc.

This is a huge bragging post, and judgy too. Do you have enough headpats now?

If you are worried why not take her for a weight check with the HV? It sounds like she's eating enough but if you get her weight checked then you'll be reassured and can tell your mum that her appetite is absolutely fine.

Why doesnt she have her own plate of food? Why is she just eating off you plates? Also why aren't you answering the questions about the centile?

Big Button

Of course it was mature cheddar, they were home made burgers served on brioche buns with sugar snap peas. The only alternative could have been a thin slice of Stilton.

The jury is out on the rejected ham though, could have been naice, but might not have been.

In jan - are there really lots of your FB friends posting pics of their children on a beach with an ice cream at this time of year?

Is it relevant that the cheddar was mature?

And not just vegetables; florets of cauliflower and carrot circles? This is a wind up.

Hilarious stealth boast by OP

I suggest you stop feeding your child during the night. At 17 months, she does not need it.

Although she might be staved as there seems to have been no chips with the steak.....

Thought everything sounded ok until I read the 5 spoons of porridge. My 8 month old baby has more than that but yours may having more milk in the night/day I guess.

Op name changed

Knew precisely what she was doing

@viques I feel something a little less ordinary from the artisan cheesemonger would have been preferable .

I honestly think it's really individual at this age. My DD is 11mo and eats more than that but she's a big baby (height as well as weight) and took to food from the get-go and has self-weaned herself from the breast almost entirely too.

She is BLW and gets all home cooked, healthy food, but I don't stress about her having the odd sweet thing and I wouldn't feel guilty for her having an ice cream at the beach this summer!

If this is real, you're boasting and judgey.

😆 can only assume you don’t have any RL friends to show off to.

I'd be doing actual cartwheels if my two year old would eat things like burgers and steaks and if he even licked a vegetable 😂 I mean it sounds fine, her waking up though might suggest she is not having enough? Some just do though. Is she alright on height/weight chart?

How many breastfeeds is she having still? If she's still feeding really frequently, then that might be why.

The op won't answer questions about weight and centile as she isn't really interested in discussing real concerns about weight! She is 'exclusively' baby led weaning and 'offering' her child a clearly healthy range of food with no typical junk type food. She doesn't care if her appetite is small due to lots of feeds still, as she likely also wants congratulations on still breastfeeding congratulations! You're doing great etc etc. Go mamma and all that nonsense

Yes, I agree, you are boasting and I think you know it.

Btw, you do get that when people show you pics of their kids, those pics might be ... gasp ... not entirely representative of reality?

I have a picture of my tiny DD in front of an enormous ice cream sundae, which brings joy to my heart. But not quite as much joy as eating 99.9% of said sundae myself, while she had a couple of mouthfuls.

But, you know, if you prefer to believe every single other parent feeds their child McFlurry morning, noon and night, you go for it.

Breakfast rhis morning was porridge with dried cranberries and dried blueberries. She ate five teaspoons. Teaspoons? I thought I misread as I assumed tablespoons but you really mean teaspoons?

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/portion-sizes-for-young-children-how-much-should-a-toddler-be-eating-10514403.html

gingersausage to be fair to the OP it's tricky to keep track of your artisanal cheesemonger's suppliers and make sure the provenance of the cheese is sound when you have a toddler in tow so I think going for the mature cheddar was a reasonable compromise.

Sounds fine to me! A small child knows how much they need. Mine have been the same. Some days they would eat very little, other days unfillable. If she was hungry she would eat more. It’s difficult when you see photos of small children eating portions big enough for a child twice their size, or overhear in a restaurant “just one more mouthful you’ll be SUCH a good boy AND I’ll get you ice cream!”

A social media post of a baby with an ice cream - is a microsecond in a baby’s life with their loved ones holding an ice cream which they may have had half a lick of. Unless said post is regularly and always accompanied by the text “here is my angel who will now finish this entire portion of ice cream”.

But you know this right? You have basically asked if you are doing something wrong by feeding your child cooked from scratch burgers, a variety of vegetables and dried fruits on oats because pictures of other kids apparently gorging on crisps and ice cream makes you feel ever so insecure.

You poor thing.

Is she a healthy weight?

If so, you're not starving her.

Is she crying for more food?

If not, you're not starving her.

If she's healthy and happy and a good weight for her age and height, you're feeding her perfectly and need to just carry on.

People migh hand babies whole ice creams but that doesn't mean they eat them.

Look at your baby. Does she look starved? If not, don't change a thing, including BFing.

Follow your instincts. They are there for a reason and are usually a very good guide.

So how is your baby's weight?

I started off like you (BLW only making one meal etc) and bf to 18 months. My dd has always been a pretty bad sleeper and I realised that the more solids she ate, the better she slept. When offering our food (particularly meat and 2 veg type stuff) she really wouldn’t eat very much. So I stared making her starchy carbs that I knew she’d eat like pasta and rice along with sauce and veggies etc. I now tend to make her her own food that I know she will eat as otherwise she will nag me for toast/cereal when going to bed or sleeps badly. I’ve noticed recently she is taking more interest in our food (I still always offer) so I don’t think it’s forever but we all needed more sleep!