Can you help me learn to be thrifty

[missnotsomoneypenny]

I've name changed so this isn't linked to my usual name. Please be kind, I am not on my arse, nor is this a begging thread. Think of it as how you'd teach your teen child to budget their pocket money.....

Execept... Im 33. Ive cleared off my overdraft which was £400 with some good slogging. I'm proud of that.

I underbudgetted and overspent during Jan forgetting it was a 5 week month and have had to ask my Mum to come to my aid and fill my car with petrol as I get paid Friday and my reserve light was on.

Whilst she was happy to help out, I feel shit because I'm already £60 down (I lent £30 from her over the last 2 weeks) before I even get paid. Fortunately I get a bonus this month which will cover that £60 but it's not the point.

Regardless of rights and wrongs, mine and my husbands finances are separate. That's how we've always been and how we function. As such, I don't talk about my money with him and vice versa. We have a joint account with a chunk of savings in and investments too.

So I guess it's not really a major issue to some but i find myself short at the end of each month.

I get say £1,100 as a salary. from that I take out approx 150 to cover my own direct debits which come from my bank such as car tax, car insurance, fuel. I then take £200 for myself for the month. This money is to do what I like with but more often than not is spent on bits for us as a family (wine, bread, milk etc) and I find myself short.

I often don't have anything to show for the £200 and I would like to get myself out of this cycle I am in.

I'm proud I've cleared my overdraft and would like to nail this spending habit I have.

I may pop to the garage for milk and I will spend £5 on stuff - treats for my son like fruit, and pop for myself.

My husband spends barely anything - he's not tight but just doesn't fritter it like I do. He went to the shop for milk, got milk and 2 small cakes that probbaly came to a total of £2. I would have spent more...

So, if you can help me and lead me in the right direction, I;d be really grateful.

Where are you doing your shop OP? How much is the fortnightly budget? Does DH go halves? Are you close to an Aldi/Lidl?

It's odd that you're ok asking your mum but not your husband.

On the groceries, we have a separate account for a 'food fund's. We pay in the sum we have budgeted for the month and all groceries purchases come from here, whether this is £2 at corner shop for extra bread or £100 delivery. When it's gone, it's gone.

This way, neither of us ends up using our 'personal' funds for household purchases (we have very limited personal funds) and we also avoid overspending out of the general house fund, leaving an insufficient amount for yet to be paid bills.

Half the pack of mince and freeze half for the next week if a bigger pack is cheaper. It's not though at the moment at Asda £4.18 per kilo for 500g mince versus £5.05 per kilo for 750g mince!

It's the viewpoint of "swings and roundabouts I guess" that will hinder you. Bigger packs aren't always cheaper, whereas bread and milk generally are cheaper from the supermarket than the local shop.

When your "roundabout" is frittering a fiver in the shop when you only needed bread you'd be better off shopping online and weekly

I know you said you're happy with your set-up, but I definitely agree with a number of other PP that it does seem a little odd to me.

I'm not suggesting you should change your set-up but this is how me and my husband do our finances (just as food for thought).

Our wages get paid into the shared account and all shared direct debits etc come from the shared account. This did require a conversation about what is shared and what isn't. For example I don't agree with my husband paying £40+ per month on a phone contract when mine is £9 per month so he agreed that as he wants the latest phone we'll stick to paying for that out of our personal accounts. Also he doesn't watch Netflix very often (if at all) so I pay for that out of my account. We also pay ourselves a small allowance each month (much like your example £200) into our private accounts.

This solves any issues we have where we need to 'pop out for milk' etc cause we know if it's for the house then it gets paid for by the shared account.

In your case for example I'd buy the shared things from the shared account, and then if I wanted to buy treats for my son like fruit, and pop for myself I'd pay for that with my own money.

Based on your current situation though I'd be tempted to get a money app that you can link your account to or even open a new current account with Monzo. Every time you spend it would then get classified into a category, this could help you to see exactly where your money is going and help you to start seeing trends.

have you checked to see if you're paying the best price for phone, internet, gas, electric etc? made sure you aren't paying subscriptions for anything you aren't using?

I second planning ahead with food, and trying to keep lots of staples in- pasta, tins of tomatoes, onions, beans, rice, bread always in the freezer. Garages are so overpriced.

If you really don’t want to do a weekly shop, what about looking into a milkman. We’ve started using one for milk and eggs, its less than £20 a month, and it means no extra trips to the shop.

I’d suggest either switching to weekly shopping or making sure you buy enough for two weeks so you don’t need to do top up shops.

I used to have 2 shops delivered each week, but I’ve cut that down to one per week to save money - things I do to make it last are:

buying the filtered milk (Cravendale is expensive but most supermarkets have an own brand version) it’s about 20p per bottle more expensive, but it lasts up to 7 days once opened and usually has around 2 weeks date on it.

Freezing bread - family of 5 so we get through 4 loaves per week, so I freeze 2 as soon as the shopping arrives.

Using part baked bread and UHT milk as back ups - both have long dates.

Buy some packet mixes for cookies/cakes that are quick to make but cheaper than store bought treats - plus it’s fun for the kids!

Organise fruit/veg/bread products by use by date. Always use things like berries and tropical fruit first, then use apples later in the week as they last longer.

We also use frozen and tinned fruit for backups - we use them for smoothies or add to jelly for treats.

@Reclaiminglife wow I had never heard of zipzero- op sorry to crash your thread - I've now signed up thank you reclaiming

Is there some dreadful backstory or drip feeding going to come up whereby we find out your dh is on a six figure salary?!

Seems ridiculous that you borrowed money from your mum for petrol whilst you have savings

Why on earth didn't you tell your dh?

@mommybear1 you’re welcome. I didn’t want to overwhelm op as ZIPZERO is the simplest but I also scan receipts to receipthog, Shoppix and HuYu.

I gather any start Receipts’s on the aldi packing bench!

I also use indeed job spotter, various mystery shopping apps, and do surveys for prolific.

I work full time and these things don’t make me rich but I had enough this Christmas to treat us to a bean to cup coffee machine and if I wasn’t doing this I’d be browsing ASOS or something!

Following this as I am terrible with money but my husband won't buy a single thing unless he has the cash to pay for it in full! I go to buy milk and spend £30 on air!

Start/stray

Op why do you borrow money from your mother and not your husband ? My mother would tell me to do one.
How do you know he has £200 spends a month if you have separate bank accounts ?
This is a bit weird.

Sorry, last one...airtime rewards. You don’t even do anything with this, just register your bank card and get automatic cashback in certain stores. I’ve £7 in there!

Fantastic @Reclaiminglife amazing you got such a fabulous Christmas with these tips I'll definitely take a look at the ones you have mentioned thank you - again sorry for the hi jack op!

I dont know if this would work but when we used to have a child minder/nanny working from our home we set up a house purse, every month i'd put about 40 in it from the grocery budget and when it got down to last five rit would be topped up. The money was put in in small notes / coins so if we had to get something we would just take a fiver/few coins rather than whole purse, if i had coins i'd throw them in this purse . The idea being that there was money there for who ever was nipping to shops to get milk, bread , the odd last minute request from school for 1 pound donation, if there was any left over at end of month it went on a treat. Now kids are older its a jar. When possible we include receipts made it very obvious to see what we were missing and where money went.

I'm terrible low on willpower if i have kids with me when i go to to shops they'd get a comic or ice pop or treat, my dh if i say get milk he gets milk and only milk , no looking round for something else just in case. Kids prefer shopping with him as they say its nip in to aisle they want and straight to tills. Only way to deal with this is to try use cash instead of cards and keep limited cash on me at any one time.

i suggest you get yourself and your dh to each put a set amount in the purse/jar for the household sundries, say 20 each , use that when you need it, and knowing its half your dhs may make you less inclinded to splurge on unnecessary items, and try keep your own money seperate for concious spending on items you need rather than frittering away.

I think you need to need to get lend and borrowed round the right way first !!!

I also don't think £200 is enough spending money, certainly not if you are ever buying household/family items out of it.

It's around £45 a week at best, you are talking about £6 per day. It's not a lot if you are buying clothing, shoes, toiletries, an odd gift, plus spending anything on socialising.

I definitely think you need to start doing a weekly shop. If the bigger pack of mince is cheaper either chop it in half and freeze the other half for another time, or use the whole pack and make a big vat of Bolognese and put some in the freezer for another meal. I do a lot of bulk cooking, it's amazing for being healthy and saving money. You say you spend £150 per fortnight, plus the extra bits from the local shop - I think you could spend a lot less by changing the way you shop.

I shop weekly, but if anything is on special offer, you buy in bulk and freeze. We never have anything fresh left by the end of the week, so it's always "whatever's in the freezer". Usually ends up being rice with chicken, and any other odds and sods left around, or chilli or lasagna leftovers from previous dinners.

Additionally, a plea. Please, please, discuss money with your husband. It's the number one reason for fall outs, you have to be honest and upfront. You really should be pooling all your resources for anything "household", and that includes food, car, phones etc. It was also bonkers to have an overdraft at the same time as savings and investments. Again, number one rule, always pay off debt first.

@Reclaiminglife could you be a bit more specific about the make £10 a day thread? I tried searching - no joy.

(Sorry for hi jacking)

Why are children's things and family things "your" responsibility? Why not joint?

@BiscuitBarrels
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/3794190-10-a-day-thread-january-part-two?pg=13&order=

Here’s the second thread of the year. It moves fast and can be a bit daunting. You might want to skim through the first but the posters are really helpful

@Reclaiminglife

Thank you! That’s really helpful (I’m on a money saving mission and I’m quite liking getting as much as can for really not much effort at all!)

it worked out better to do fortnightly and buy a bigger, cheaper pack, than the smaller, more expensive one.

You can still buy the big pack of mince...just buy it every two weeks. Do you do a shopping list before you go and then stick to it?