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AIBU?

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Original poster

Advice on inheritance disputes

999 replies

Ilovechinese · 20/01/2020 14:02

Hi I'm just wondering if anyone on here has been to court to contest a will and if so how long did it take to get to court and what the process is. I'm going through this at the minute (well not got to court yet) but have a caveat in place to stop probate.

OP posts:
beverlymarsh · 24/01/2020 17:54

😂😂😂

MinesaBottle · 24/01/2020 17:55

How are your kids handling all this? They must have noticed your preoccupation with all of this.

Zucker · 24/01/2020 17:59

How can you not see that the article you posted just there is showing that YOU and only YOU is in great danger here. The onus isn't on your brother to prove anything in this case its on you. The judge isn't going to be like a judge on tv and give judgements on feelings on what you think happened. Judgements will be on law and facts.

You will lose this case.

Dontdisturbmenow · 24/01/2020 18:04

It's interesting that you've said so little about your other sibling who ultimately, is in the same situation than you. Will you enter a joint claim? If not, why not?

PineappleDanish · 24/01/2020 18:04

Why are you not listening to anything that is being said by people who work in the legal profession or who have gone through similar, OP?

Original poster
Ilovechinese · 24/01/2020 18:06

No I think it will settle before it goes to court as if he has any sense he will not risk it. And I do just want what is fair and right shame he doesn't . If he has any kind if a conscience he would just do the decent thing and end this now.

Thank you to all of you who have offered me kind words and advice and for those of you laughing at my misfortune at a time when I am grieving and feeling betrayed and hurt on top of that shame on you, let's hope this situation never happens to you and then maybe you will understand how it feels.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovechinese · 24/01/2020 18:07

@Dontdisturbmenow yes we will be.

OP posts:
IndecentFeminist · 24/01/2020 18:07

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Oldbutstillgotit · 24/01/2020 18:08

If you - understandably- don’t want to say amounts left to you and your siblings , could you say percentages? It would help people advise you .

sunshinesupermum · 24/01/2020 18:10

As florascotia2 says.

OP you've produced a case that is like yours and still think you have a valid case against your brother yourself. You've received something from your mother's estate. Be grateful. It was her money and it appears she was sound enough to decide how to divide it up. Some of us get fxxx all.

sunshinesupermum · 24/01/2020 18:16

I am grieving and feeling betrayed and hurt on top of that shame on you, let's hope this situation never happens to you and then maybe you will understand how it feels

It HAS happened to me OP as I've stated up thread. My wealthy cousin's 4 kids received an inheritance from my mother that should have gone to my children.

Unlike you though I saw sense and didn't pursue what I still believe was a hopeless case, although I was grieving like you are and at the time going through a horrendous divorce so don't lash out on the people here who you seem intent on not hearing.

You don't stand an earthly of gaining any more money than you've already been granted by your mother's will. Sorry if that hurts.

Brazi103 · 24/01/2020 18:16

Op you were left something, it just wasnt enough for you. If your brother coerced your Mum wouldnt he have got her to leave nothing? I'm sure a judge is going to ask about that?
I also believe that you are going to lose. I think maybe you are reacting out of alot of hurt as well. Please consider therapy alongside seeing a solicitor.
You are on a very self destructive path and you need help with that.

CherryPavlova · 24/01/2020 18:18

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Original poster
Ilovechinese · 24/01/2020 18:21

@sunshinesupermum ob I'm sorry to hear that, so how did you deal with it if you dont mind me asking?

OP posts:
jmh740 · 24/01/2020 18:27

I know a friend who fought a will it took about 2 years to get to court they were warned if they lost there was no way they would be able to pay the legal fees and would end up bankrupt. It was a long drawn out process and cost thousands.

Orchardgreen · 24/01/2020 18:27

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DeRigueurMortis · 24/01/2020 18:27

No I think it will settle before it goes to court as if he has any sense he will not risk it. And I do just want what is fair and right shame he doesn't . If he has any kind if a conscience he would just do the decent thing and end this now.

OP your brother isn't risking anything.

You are the one taking the risk here.

I genuinely don't know what to say anymore to make you realise how serious a position you are in.

You're not listing to anything anyone is telling you.

You're consistently quoting/reading information any somehow teesing out that it supports your case when it in fact does the opposite. Or quoting information that's not relevant legally (or is not legally relevant in the U.K.).

You seem totally unprepared to rationally appraise the situation.

CmdrCressidaDuck · 24/01/2020 18:27

Nobody's laughing at you. Get it through your dense head that they're trying to stop you making a catastrophic mistake.

sunshinesupermum · 24/01/2020 18:31

I realised that although it was unjustifiably unfair I couldn't let it rule my life. My cousin was a nasty piece of work, and he'd manoeuvred it so that the inheritance went to his children and not himself and that it would be difficult for me in court anyway. My mother was in a nursing home and registered blind at the time, our relationship was difficult one and she suffered from severe mental illness (and I have no doubt my cousin manipulated her to his family's advantage).

It was particularly upsetting in that the sum of money was in excess of £600K (ten years ago) and would have meant my kids could have used it to buy their own homes. But my mental health came first and a drawn-out dispute wasn't going to help me in the long run.

I truly hope you have some counselling or therapy to help you through this horrible period of your life. Sending you my very best wishes x

Henlie · 24/01/2020 18:44

If you - understandably- don’t want to say amounts left to you and your siblings , could you say percentages? It would help people advise you.

I think the Op did mention the % a few pages back. She said her brother got 90%. So 5% for her and 5% for her sister.

Oldbutstillgotit · 24/01/2020 18:45

@ Henlie apologies - I should RTFT !

Original poster
Ilovechinese · 24/01/2020 18:48

@John and what was the outcome? Were they successful?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovechinese · 24/01/2020 18:49

@jmh740 sorry meant that last post for you not sure how that happened

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Original poster
Ilovechinese · 24/01/2020 18:55

@sunshinesupermum that is awful I'm so sorry that happened to you. I feel it is quite similar to mine although a lot worse in your case as this Is nowhere near that amount and it's a brother not a cousin. It must have been devastating.

Thank you for your kind words. Did you get any counselling or therapy to deal with it? Maybe U should but I feel like it wont help me. Like people are saying me going court even if I win wont change things neither will talking about it to a stranger will.

OP posts:
DoubleTweenQueen · 24/01/2020 19:04

Ilovechinese - I know exactly how you feel. It's not the amount of money but your parents' legacy for their children and grandchildren, and being put in this position at the most painful time. If I was in your position, I would go for mediation. Confront the situation with your brother. Go through the original will which was equal, then what possible grounds for the seeming change of heart by your mother. See what he has to say for himself. Give him the opportunity to review his position. See if he is clear in his conscience. See if you can settle.
I would not pursue a legal case. It will only destroy you. If you don't get a better outcome through mediation, at least you will have called out and challenged the situation. A couple of years in the future, the sting will ease. All love to you X