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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu..to be upset that my married best friend cancels our tomorrow shopping trip to go shag her boxing coach

120 replies

Baileys38 · 19/01/2020 22:00

Simple as that, best mate and I text daily,don't see each other often,I'm going through hell mentally at the mo awaiting a cancer diagnosis,(specialist are pretty sure, and will be getting final tests this week),and was looking forward to seeing her for a day out shopping and lunch tomorrow. Shes married by the way and said she had the opportunity to meet up for sex and would I mind?
I just feel it's a bit selfish as I have always been there for her and wanted other peoples thoughts

OP posts:
Wingedserpentfliesbynight · 19/01/2020 23:52

It it tricky for her to meet coach? Is that why she doesn’t want to give up the chance of a shag? Could you met her afterwards for a drink?

Wingedserpentfliesbynight · 19/01/2020 23:52

As she’s married it’s prob not that straight forward to meet up with the coach for a hook up.

Poppinjay · 19/01/2020 23:53

Has she told her husband that she’s still meeting you as a cover for her lies?

I assumed it was her husband she was meeting up with for sex. A chance to have the house to themselves while the children are at school maybe?

Wingedserpentfliesbynight · 19/01/2020 23:53

Hope the diagnosis goes your way Flowers

DowntownAbby · 19/01/2020 23:55

She sounds like an utterly vile, uncaring, selfish, cheating bitch.

Tell her husband and block her.

You are absolutely not over reacting; you needed support and what you actually got was nothing.

Wingedserpentfliesbynight · 19/01/2020 23:55

It is the coach she snagging right? Otherwise She is unreasonable as she can shag her husband anytime, even with kids in the hse.

ItchyItchyItchy · 19/01/2020 23:56

That's terrible. Even without all your stress it's a shitty way to treat a friend but knowing what you are dealing with makes it a million times worst.

I really feel for you.
My best friend seems to have dumped me since her 2 year affair ended. Her dh found out "something" was going on but she got away with operation minimise and basically told him it was a few messages and a stolen kiss. As much as I didn't approve if her affair I have never suggested I might tell her dh. Needless to say, she's obviously so petrified her dh may ask me done thing or I'll let done thing slip out that she's pretty much blanked me and gas been too busy and unavailable to meet up (we live 2 hours apart) or have one of our epic 2 hour phone chats for over a year now. Sad lots all very sad really. She was an amazing friend who supported through my cancer but she's really let the side down now. Cheaters are selfish through and through and affairs involve and hurt more people than just the partners they are deceiving.
Good luck for Wednesday. Really hope the Drs are being over cautious.

DowntownAbby · 19/01/2020 23:57

@Poppinjay how did you get that from the thread title?

"Aibu..to be upset that my married best friend cancels our tomorrow shopping trip to go shag her boxing coach"

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 19/01/2020 23:57

Text her back, "Hope you get Chlamydia." then block. Selfish cow.

PiafPilaf · 19/01/2020 23:58

@wingedserpentfliesbynight Sorry, am I reading you right? It’s understandable as she’s having an affair but it would be inexcusable if it were her husband who she could have sex with any time?! You’ve got to be a troll. Off you go now.

Welltroddenpath · 20/01/2020 00:05

Sometimes you see people’s true colours and that’s what’s going on here. You could say no you do mind actually need her right now. But I would feel meh about meeting up now if I was you.

Some of my mates have dropped me when I needed them. One has blown me out a few times for a secret shag too. The only comfort is that it creates a level playing field. I didn’t feel compelled to prop up my flakey friend when her shit hit the fan. I don’t feel bad saying no sometimes to my other friends where as I would before.

What I would never do is make plans then cancel for a better offer. That’s not a nice trait in anyone.

TheGreatWave · 20/01/2020 00:05

"Do you mind?" "Yes, I do mind, you self absorbed unfaithful cow bag"

She is a dreadful, dreadful friend, and should be dropping everything possible to be seeing you. I hope you have support elsewhere, because you will get none from her. Sad

All the best for Wednesday. Flowers

cheeseislife8 · 20/01/2020 00:06

Otherwise She is unreasonable what the fuck? Sure, it's fine as long as she's having an affair Hmm

Get rid OP. Hoping for the best for you with your results

DrivingMsCrazy · 20/01/2020 00:07

@Poppinjay reread the thread title ...

FreshFancyFrogglette · 20/01/2020 00:12

YaNBu!!!

managedmis · 20/01/2020 00:14

Awful

WhereTheCowsGoBong · 20/01/2020 00:16

YANBU.

Poor you and her poor husband.

I have no sympathy for cheaters. at all.

Poppinjay · 20/01/2020 00:16

@DrivingMsCrazy thank you Smile

The full thread title didn't show on my phone. That will teach me to look properly in future.

Ariela · 20/01/2020 00:18

I'd be leaving a message on her home phone that you're going to have to cancel tomorrow...

AmelieTaylor · 20/01/2020 00:20

Is it tricky for her to meet coach? Is that why she doesn’t want to give up the chance of a shag? Could you met her afterwards for a drink?

@Wingedserpentfliesbynight

As she’s married it’s prob not that straight forward to meet up with the coach for a hook up

Funny that. Being married making it difficult to meet up with someone else for sex.

& Eewww. Waiting until she’s finished fucking a bloke she’s having an affair with, to have a drink together. No thanks.

@Baileys38 - being blown out anytime for
something else, anything else, is crap but IF she knows about what you’re going through then it’s beyond crap and into ‘fuck of’ territory!

If you were my friend, you’d be struggling to get 5 minutes leave from me right now

Please let us know how it goes on Wednesday 🤞🏼🌷

PixieDustt · 20/01/2020 00:36

She is a shitty friend OP and has shown her true colours.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Big hand hold from me and a big big hug Thanks

Thedogscollar · 20/01/2020 00:40

Omg has to one if the worst things I've read here and there has been some corkers. She is no friend just a user and cheat. Drop her now you have more to be dealing with than this selfish cow. All the very best for your doctors appt surround yourself with supportive people.

springydaff · 20/01/2020 00:54

ime of cancer I found out who my friends are. Yes it's a cliche and, boy, could I have done without it at a time like that. It seems to be a right of passage with cancer.

Get rid of her. Put your energies into what's ahead and the people who care for you and are there for you at your lowest - you'll find people step up you'd never expect to (as well as the people who drop off you'd never expect to!..). Do you have good family support?

it's terribly hard to face this when things are so difficult. Just get rid of her. I got rid of quite a few 'friends' and I never looked back.

UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre · 20/01/2020 04:54

CakeFlowersWine for you op. Your friend sounds like a dickhead.
I hope you’re ok and weds is alright

MyOtherProfile · 20/01/2020 05:15

The affair is grim but it's worse if she knows about your cancer scare. Does she know?

Are you friends on social media with her dh? I would be tempted tomorrow to post something that makes it clear you weren't with her...