Would you have a baby at 42?

[divawithafever]

Stolen off another poster! I have a nearly 6 year old and considering giving them a sibling but not sure this is a good idea given that I'd be 42 by time the baby was born. Celebrities are doing it left right and centre but what about us mere mortals, is it a bad idea?

I'm 40 with newborn twins and a nearly 3 year old. I think it's fine if you're active, healthy and up for raising your kids in your 40s & 50s. The main plus for me having kids later is no money worries and no regrets on giving up my old lifestyle because after 20 years of pleasing myself it had started to pale anyway.

@Brocollistalk - 30 would have been way too YOUNG for me I didn't even start thinking about it seriously till mid-30s.

This social trend for deliberately TTC in our forties is going to come back to bite us in some way. We just don’t know how yet - give it thirty years and we’ll find out.

I think it’s a bad idea. Not to say if you found yourself unexpectedly PG at 42 you shouldn’t have it (depending on the circumstances obvs.) but why choose it that way? You’ve had six years to think about a sibling for your child - why play dangerous games like this? It’s riskier for you and for the baby and the chances of Down Syndrome go through the roof, post 40.

I had a baby just before I was 43. Fist five years were pretty good. It started to get harder when I was 50 with a seven year old (and a full time job). 60 with a 17 year old was hard work.
Some people on here talk about feeling old at 50. Think it through OP.

No, I just wouldn't have the energy now.

I wouldn't because I’m already shattered couldn't imagine adding a newborn into the mix.
Not to mention still doing school drop offs when you nearly 60!

Yes. I'm going to be TTC soon & i'm 39

I would if I didn’t have any. I think 43 would be my cut off. By 42 I’ll have a 14 & 13 year old so no way would I be going back into the baby stage.

Yes. I did. Had my one and only at 42. Conceived easily. No problems with tiredness. I love being a mum.

I understand why people don't want a baby at 42 if they have a child already and there's a big age gap. But isn't a big age gap hard at any age? All those saying 'no way' have already got children...

When you haven't had the opportunity to be a mum until you're older, you just go for it surely?

No

YES
(had twins at 41)

i had one at 35 and one at 39. I don’t want anymore but i have friends that have had babies in early to mid 40s - entirely your decision really! There isn’t really a wrong answer here- just what you think.

Yes of course!! 42 is not old!!!

I wouldn't but ive got 2 and it tests my limits of patience as it is. The back pain would be too much and I've had nearly a decade of broken sleep so im not starting again!

If you still have a very young dc maybe youre not too knackered yet.

Mumsnet is full of hysteria though about older parents

I know. Whereas in real life we're just getting on with it. I'm mid 50s with a 15 year old DD and both of us are doing great 😁

I would go for it. I'm 38 now, and if this wasn't a twin pregnancy I would definitely be trying for a second child and would be fine with having a baby at 42 if it was possible for me.

Yes, I would. Best of luck to you.

I did, I had mine at 31, 34, 42 and 44 and I adore them but now at 54 I’m not as fit and healthy as I was and I tire easily and I’m often consumed with guilt about the younger two. Having said that, in my part of N London, it’s not unusual.
My honest advice is don’t do it.

Yes, if you want one, why not? Personally I didn't because by the time I was 42 my youngest child was 16 and I felt we had long since moved on from the baby stage. But I know some people who have loved having another bite of the cherry in their 40s!

My soon to be 16 year old would say it's a good thing.

I understand those who had children young saying “no”, as they’re obviously well past the baby stage and wouldn’t want to go back to that. It’s a whole different situation for those who waited, for whatever reason - hadn’t met the right partner yet, enjoying being young and child free, building a career, whatever.
If you’ve started your family a little older, I think if you can get pregnant you absolutely can do it. I had my first at 37 (+11 months😁) and my second at 42. Easy, healthy pregnancies and though I was more tired second time, it was manageable. Mine are now 20 and 15 and worth every sleepless night (some in the teenage years!).
You mostly regret the things you didn’t do...

Personally no. I am 47 with 4 children, they are 31,26,24 and 20 all have left home and now I can live the life that I sacrificed by having them so young. I just would not have the patience now.

Interesting. I’ve just this week turned 42 and having another baby was one of the reasons I split up with my boyfriend last week. He just about qualified as a boyfriend as we had only been together for 3 months bit within weeks of meeting he was asking me if I would consider another child.
Mine are almost 9 and 17. No thank you.
He has 2 of similar ages to mine and I couldn’t begin to imagine starting again but that’s just me.

He seemed obsessive about me getting pregnant and this was a major red flag.

Lots of my old school friends are just starting out, while others are becoming young grandparents and everything inbetween.

I did. He’s a challenging 2 year old but wouldn’t change him for the world. 7 years between him and my eldest child but they get on so well and are so loving. It is more tiring tho than when I was
Younger.

In your situation yes definitely.

I wanted a sibling for dd1 and so I understand that.

I'm 42 with a 4 and 9 yo so in my situation, no fecking way!