Would you have a baby at 45?

[84wood]

Hello

I am considering having another baby. We’ve already got a lovely DC who’s 5 and we’ve really enjoyed being parents. I had a trouble free pregnancy and had my child privately so I’m lucky to know all the best doctors and units. I’m also in very good health. It would be a bit of a financial struggle as DC is in a private school but not impossible. How would you feel? Would you try?
Thanks so much for reading and for any advice.

Definitely.

I am going to still be parenting teens on my 60s and don’t see a problem.

No.
The child would be starting primary school with a 50 year old mum.

Oh you say you're happy now @Justgorgeous, but imagine when you hit the menopause. You'll be incapable of looking after your child and parenting in a responsible manner

@Itsashame

No.
The child would be starting primary school with a 50 year old mum.

And the problem with that is...?

The op asked for opinions. That’s mine. And also a lot of people’s on this thread too. If the op didn’t already have a child and this was the last chance then that’s different. But my opinion is that it’s too old if you already have kids. Tiring to have a young child at 45. The mum would be 65 when child at uni. High chance of mum passing away before the child has their own children. So many issues. I’m not going to list them all. That’s my view.

I'm 39 and 21 weeks' pregnant with my third child. In a ideal world I wouldn't have waited perhaps this long but I left my evil ex-husband at 33 and deliberately chose to be single after that for a bit. I don't regret that one bit.

My cut-off was 40 but would I have kept to it? Not sure! This will be my fiancé's first baby - he's 44. My boys will be 10 and almost 13 when their little sister arrives.

I had two miscarriages with my first husband - I was 25 and 26 when I had them. I did also have an early chemical pregnancy with my fiancé the month before I conceived (a big surprise as at that point I was on the pill!) but then was extremely lucky to fall pg the first month of trying.

Life doesn't always work out the way you would have planned it to begin with.

Yes of course,go for it.

Wishing you well.

@Rubyroost I’m sure I will do just fine thank you.

@Itsashame

But your first post wasn't an opinion, it was just a 'No' with some maths added on.

Come on!! The question asked was “would you have a child at 45” I said no. How is that not an opinion?!!!

I wouldn't - I feel a lot older with my youngest child and aware of mortality I just don't think it's fair. By the time he or she is no longer dependent on you or after uni minimum age 21 up to 23 if all goes smoothly, you will be 68. And that's still very young to lose a parent .

Op started this thread asking for opinions; all posters replying are doing up just what she asked for - giving their opinions.

Why are some being jumped on? If op is daft enough to make a major life decision based on people agreeing with her on the Internet that’s her own lookout.

Indeed 74newstreet

It's depressing how many young women on this thread think that they will be clapped out at 50 despite having almost 20 years of their working life left let alone years of retirement.

YANBU if it is what you want.

Personally, I would have liked another baby but with horrendous periods, DS being 10 and me being 44 - I decided to give up at that point and go down the contraceptive route to try to resolve my period issues. I went on the mini pill and it is fantastic. I no longer have periods :)

@MrsCollinssettled isn't it just?

There’s a difference between being clapped out and being fit and ready for a baby

Just saying that a 45 year old may be tired having a baby and a young child isn’t the same thing as saying a woman of that age is clapped out.
Anyone whose had a baby knows how physically hard it is and it’s harder the older you get

“Clapped out” . I’m hoping I won’t be anywhere in the region of clapped out at 50 but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be wrangling toddlers then either.

It's rather odd to post that the menopause is a non issue before you've actually experienced it.

Women have been dealing with all sorts of things for millennia, but that doesn't mean those things are all non issues. Everyone goes through puberty, but it isn't a non issue, everyone is born, but birth isn't a non issue and is still a high risk event for both mother and child, everyone does come to that - it's not a non issue.

Menopause is different for different women obviously, but it's quite misogynistic to dismiss it as a non issue.

*everyone dies that should read, not everyone does

@thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul

It's rather odd to post that the menopause is a non issue before you've actually experienced it.

Indeed - just as saying having a child in your 40s is tough and physically demanding when you haven't experienced it.

Not the same at all. Many people know how hard it is to have a baby because they’ve had one. Then they know what it’s like to be 45. It’s not a leap to feel too old to have a baby at 45 even if they’ve not had one at that age. I know nothing of the menopause yet

Indeed. Ruby’s “who gives a shit about the menopause” post was odd to say the least. Odd isn’t the first word that occurred to me but I’ll be deleted if I don’t play nice.

I had my dc at that age (naturally and problem free), I don't see any difference in tiredness and ability to cope between myself and women 10 years younger. If anything it's the older mums who are actually have the energy and commitment to do more than the 20-30 year olds - working full time, doing stuff with their kids, volunteering in the community and so on.