Upset girlfriend

[PolkaRed]

Bit of relevant back story so please bear with me.

I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 4 years now. She has one daughter from a previous relationship who is in her last year of primary.

Last October I bought a house with the intention of doing it up with the plan that her daughter finished primary and then they both moved in over the summer holidays ready for her to start secondary.

Start of November we found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. Not planned but it was a nice surprise. However, now there is a sudden rush to get the house ready before the baby is born.

Last week I had to raid the last of my savings to buy a new kitchen. Then this week, my car broke down and my cat fell seriously ill, which meant more unplanned expenditure.

It was also both my girlfriend and her daughters birthday. I gave my girlfriend £40 for her daughters birthday but I simply couldn't afford to buy my girlfriend anything. On top of that, due to the car breaking down, I've had to make the hours up at work to meet some important deadlines, which has meant I haven't been able to see them this week (they live about 40 minutes away).

She's now not talking to me. Aibu to think that given the circumstances, she shouldn't be so upset with me for how her birthday has turned out?

Last week I had to raid the last of my savings to buy a new kitchen. Then this week, my car broke down and my cat fell seriously ill, which meant more unplanned expenditure

If the cat and car bill are enough to send you into being completely skint then how are you planning to pay for a baby?

Your girlfriend has managed to provide for a child for 11 years.

Maybe she’s reevaluating her relationship with you.

not being nasty as such, just this guys lack of thoughtlessness, a card in the post, if he had thought of it!
He did have time to plan before Christmas.
And yes I think everyone would have been upset to have been ignored on their birthday.
Sometimes no attention is better than none

If the cat and car bill are enough to send you into being completely skint then how are you planning to pay for a baby?

They obviously earn enough to buy a house and accumulate savings sufficient enough to do it up.

Why wouldn't they be able to afford a baby? It's a temporary situation caused by an unexpected schedule due to unplanned but wanted pregnancy to prepare the house FOR THE FAMILY.

As she’s pregnant then her hormones will be doing crazy things and making her much more emotional than usual. You can’t expect her to be as logical as she used to be at the moment.

You haven’t explained much of this to her.
You gave her £40 for her daughter but nothing for her. That was weird. Why not spend £10 on the daughter and £30 on the mum? You’re tired and stressed and a bloke so I get it, but you made her feel like you didn’t care about her, so she’s upset. Did you do anything free for her birthday like text her something sweet / send her a thoughtful email card? Give her a homemade voucher for a future footrub / nice homecooked meal? Lack of cash isn’t a reason to completely ignore someone’s birthday. Also bear in mind that birthdays mean a lot more in some families than others.

(By the way every thread on mumsnet attracts a load of people shouting “break up with them” if people are telling you to ditch your pregnant partner because of a minor upset then you should ignore them.)

They

*He

I don’t see much about “they” at all.

I don’t understand why everyone is suggesting you run for the hills and break it off, what shitty advice over something so minor! You guys must fly through partners.

Nope, it just sounded like financial abuse or something from the small amount of info in the OP. Never would my long term partner make me feel so down over something so trivial, especially when it's clear the money had been spent on more important things.

The £40 cash instead of a gift seems much more minor to me but people are kicking off about that too so I guess it all depends on perspective.