Too fat and not posh

[Sundancer77]

We have a children’s birthday to attend this afternoon, in a beautiful hotel inside a marquee.
Between the WhatsApp group, some of us texting to ask what to to wear etc, host said warm things (is raining today here etc) but very posh.
I’ve just gone upstairs to look and realised I have basically nothing posh enough in winter clothes and I look fat and horrible after years of ivf and having a baby.
Aibu to cancel as I just feel crappy?
This has definitely spurred me on to lose weight and do something about it!

Oh go and have fun, the host was asked for guidance, it was just that not a rule. Wear what you're comfy in, and don't let your weight have you hiding in doors.

Who has a kids’ party somewhere posh? I think that is unreasonable. I bet you look better than you think. Don’t go if you don’t think you’ll have fun, but otherwise wear something you feel good in and you should be fine.

Sure you can't just brazen it out in very black items?
Probably just means avoid the stained jeans, hoody & old trainers.

Surely it's about the children, more than what people are wearing?

It's far too late to cancel, OP. It's also a children's birthday party, not a ball at Downton. I'm sure whatever you have will be just fine.

Who has a kids party and expects the adults to dress posh?

That is very bizarre!

Seems strange location for a party but just style it out in black from head to toe, maybe with an interesting necklace or scarf. Hold your head up high and enjoy!

How naff!

Jeans, one of his white shirts with belt, chuck on some bracelets , jumper coat and bright scarf. Add some make up Job done.

Weird. Very posh ffs! Ha... I'd go in wellies and an old jumper wearing a tiara.

Dress posh for a children’s party?

Blimey.

The host has said to wear something warm that’s all. She hasn’t demanded ‘posh’!

Hands down, the poshest people I know (I’m taking Old Money, Aristo, landed and own banks kinda posh) are the scruffiest. Go as you are and act like your jumper / jacket were Granny’s back in the day!

Seriously, if I were this (not posh, new money ) host, I’d rather you were there than not.

Oh hang on, did she demand posh? I took it to mean the host is posh herself

Someone who asks people to dress "very posh" is an idiot and full of pretensions.
Just go as you are OP.

It’s in the marquee with catering etc (def more for the host than the child-turning 1 🤷‍♀️)
I’ve spent most of my days in pjs since Dd came along, which I know is pretty shitty, but the children’s parties so far have been jeans, trainers/boots/sweater etc..this I can do..I just feel too blah..literally nothing fits or is what you’d consider ‘Posh’ in any way whatsoever..I know i’m being miserable 🙄but will not feel comfy, there are at least 50 going, so it’s unlikely we’ll be missed.
It’s spurring me on to lose the couple of stone!

And how does one dress posh?

Dont cancel OP- what a horrible message to yourself that would be about not being good enough!

It's a marquee in a hotel in Jan it can't be that posh. I'd just iron something and do my hair slightly better than I normally bother with, sling a smart ish coat on and go. I doubt anyone will care what you're wearing!

If you really don’t want to go then just make your excuses. But if you do go wear whatever you feel comfortable in, and hold your head up high. You are as good as anyone else there!

Don’t cancel as it’s too late now. Do you have one nice coat? You can wear that over the less nice stuff! I’m wearing my faux fur one today and feel nice in it even though I’m overweight. I’m also doing something about it - low carb, high fat/Mediterranean diet and have joined gym to mostly do weights. Try to enjoy the party, no one else will notice you as much as you think!!

She didn’t demand posh or initially state it, she sent a nice message saying about the rain so would be inside. She said to dress nice and warm, a friend asked if her little one would get messy at all as she had a cute new outfit for him, she also asked if we should dress ‘Posh’
Host replied it was ok as there’s nothing to get the kids messy and yes to dress posh 🤷‍♀️ So she never specified it in the invite, just replied to it.
I’m also thinking because the children won’t be getting messy, there may not be a lot for the children to do and it may be a case of standing round drinking nice booze and eating a lovely spread (lovely normally) but will probably involve running round after 18 month old as there’s nothing to occupy her.

I don't own anything posh winter or summer.

Its not me. Wear what you're comfy in.
Nicest I'd have is ack. Trousers and a top. But not posh at all.
I used to worry about stuff like this and mn hepled me see iwbu and I am who I am, wear what I want etc and if they're friends they won't care

Last weekend me and dh got a sitter and went for a meal before baby due this week. We met with his boss etc. They all. Had lovely make up and hair etc.. I did my hair but it needs dying. Which I'll do After baby as can't sit too long. I have so many spots on face that are sore so I didn't put any make up On except mascara.. I looked like shit.
But dh just said it doesn't matter and enjoy it. We did.

Do not worry. So long as you don’t turn up in a tracksuit and crocs. Do you have anything plain you can accessorise with jewellery or a scarf? Do you have a nice coat? Presumably it will be freezing in a marquee so wouldn’t be weird to keep it on. Any decent people won’t give a hoot what you wear.

It is too late to cancel. She will have paid for your place / catering or whatever.

She says to wear something warm. Take her at her word. Don't worry too much about looking posh. I'm sure dark jeans or a dress with thick tights, boots and a not-too-scruffy coat will do the trick. Add a colourful or nice scarf if you have one. Don't over think it.

When I feel like I look shit & don't like my outfit I apply extra make up and often some bright lippy. Helps a bit.

well probably not the PJ's, but smart jeans, or leggins with a longish tunic type top? It's a baby's party, not a fancy wedding!
Go and have fun.