Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

17 yo DD Dr appt - what to do?

138 replies

tactum · 17/01/2020 23:56

Had a text earlier this evening from surgery saying DD has arranged a Dr appt tom am, not booked with my knowledge - am assuming DD didn't realise I would get message. She has started seeing her first serious boyfriend about 3 months ago who I really like and I've been giving them 'space' together whilst also including him in suppers round the table etc.
She's already on the pill due to period issues n we've had various convos about contraception.
Am assuming appt is something to do with the relationship, just not sure how to bring it up? Any advice please..

OP posts:
Original poster
tactum · 18/01/2020 08:45

Hi there, I'm back and have listened to the very varied responses I've had. I'll probably not say anything but try and keep the lines of communication open generally.

I should probably have mentioned at the start that it isn't our normal Dr surgery - it's the one where she has just started working, so completely new. She'd certainly have no compunction about getting me to take her to our regular Dr about all sorts of stuff.

I agree with others about the 16-18 age bracket - so difficult to navigate. Thanks all

OP posts:
Ouchaheadinmybehind · 18/01/2020 09:07

it isn't our normal Dr surgery - it's the one where she has just started working

That’s very odd then. Our surgery doesn’t have our staff members as patients so that you aren’t discussing your medical needs with people you work for.

Also, if she has registered with the new practice, why would she have given your mobile phone number instead of her own? Medical records are transferred over but for registration the patient details are added by a member of staff who input name,address, phone number etc from the pt registration form.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 18/01/2020 09:13

If she’s working there, are you sure she’s not used your number to check their exit system or similar but didn’t tell you? It seems odd that she would:

a) have changed her surgery to one where she now works
b) given your mobile number to the new surgery

ItsGoingTibiaK · 18/01/2020 09:13

*text system

Cynthie · 18/01/2020 09:21

I should probably have mentioned at the start that it isn't our normal Dr surgery - it's the one where she has just started working, so completely new

That’s bizarre. The surgery I work at will not take on any staff who are registered with us - they must register elsewhere before taking the job.

I’m incredibly surprised that she has been able to switch to this surgery after starting working there.

WaxOnFeckOff · 18/01/2020 09:23

presume OP meant the surgery near to where her DD has started working. Perhaps more convenient one?

Original poster
tactum · 18/01/2020 09:26

No she does work there part time on reception. Hadn't even thought about any issues around registering at the surgery you work for - is that universally the case?

OP posts:
EBearhug · 18/01/2020 09:31

But why ? Why are you regarded as being responsible in some areas but not in others ?

So it all happens in one big bang overnight? It makes sense to me that things happen more of a staggered way. At 16 you can get married with your parents' agreement; at 17, you can learn to drive; at 18, you can get married without your parents' agreement. Most people do a lot of growing up between 16 and 18, but I don't think anyone changes overnight.

Cynthie · 18/01/2020 09:36

is that universally the case?

Yes. It’s considered extremely inappropriate for doctors to treat their own employees, just as it is for them to treat their own families - the risk of special treatment, perhaps being more willing to prescribe controlled drugs etc.

The only exception is surgeries in very rural areas where there are no other options within a reasonable distance.

PurpleDaisies · 18/01/2020 09:36

Why on earth would anyone want to register at the practice they work at? Smear test followed by a cuppa in the staff room?

Most surgeries I’ve worked at works not have allowed this.

TroysMammy · 18/01/2020 09:37

She probably has her mother's telephone number on her records from when she was a child (under 16) and hasn't thought to change it to her number. When booking appointments I always check the number is still valid and change it if necessary. Unfortunately not all of my colleagues do this (or other things) but that's a gripe from a whole list of gripes that will not be shared here.

WTFdidwedo · 18/01/2020 09:41

When I changed doctor's surgeries before it was suggested I book a general check up. Could just be that anyway.

Silvercatowner · 18/01/2020 09:42

Tell her thay you received a reminder for her appointment and that you'll contact the surgery ASAP to get contact details changed.

That's all you need to do.

zoobincan · 18/01/2020 09:45

If she had just started working there why on earth would they have your phone number?

BackforGood · 18/01/2020 17:43

it isn't our normal Dr surgery - it's the one where she has just started working

well that information makes it very bizarre, and I would be trying to sort out why they think it is appropriate to text an 'emergency contact' / next of kin, to tell them about someone else's appointment Hmm

lborgia · 19/01/2020 12:50

Did this go anywhere OP? Completely random but wonder if she was testing a new texting system, and forgot to tell you.

Honestly cannot think of another situation where this would be ok!

MummyFriend · 19/01/2020 12:58

At our local surgery you need to have a health check with a doctor to complete the registration process. If she's newly registered there then the appointment could easily just be for this.

JohnVirgo · 19/01/2020 14:19

I f she's newly registered there then the appointment could easily just be for this.

She works there. It would be very odd to give her mother's number to her employer rather then her own. It doesn't make sense at all.

Menora · 19/01/2020 14:26

We don’t let staff register at the surgery they work in no, but if they were already a patient and don’t want to leave we restrict their access to their own record

As for 16-18 yes you do not have any consent any longer, your DD needs to give you the consent herself for her medical records. I’m allowed to book an appointment for DD17 but nothing else and GP always asks if DD wants me to leave the room

You need to let DD know she needs to change the phone number on her records to her own

Menora · 19/01/2020 14:27

Some surgeries will register you as a temporary resident to give you a flu jab for instance so sometimes it may happen but she would have had to fill out a form either way and put your number down

Jenasaurus · 19/01/2020 14:47

on the issue of patient confidentiality, I received a letter at work from the hospital, it was addressed to my parents address and my fathers name regarding his cancer diagnoses, I found it open in the mail sack at work! coincidence or just weird. I then had the job of breaking the bad news to my parents.

Original poster
tactum · 19/01/2020 14:51

UPDATE. I gently suggested this morning that she checks the contact details as I received a text from her employer regarding an appointment she had booked. She seemed very suprised I'd had it and told me the exact reason for the appt stratight away and it was very believable. She was staying in town the night before at a friends and then had a hair appt that lunchtime so it was convenient for her, she would have had to wait til Mon at our normal surgery and wanted to be seen sooner. I suggested she change the contact details and all was well. No drama about me prying or anything. Happy and concluded!

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 19/01/2020 14:52

The texts are sent automatically. At the surgery I work at, letters are sent to every patient on their 16th birthday, asking them to contact us so that we can update their notes with their personal phone number and remove their mother's or father's.

If they don't act on this, there's nothing we can do.

GDPR doesn’t work by default, just because you haven’t been given a phone number to contact doesn’t then mean you automatically text another person - the number should be removed and if no new number is supplied then a reminder text isn’t sent

steff13 · 19/01/2020 14:53

No one from the doctors office bothered to call your dad to tell him he had cancer? Or have him come in to discuss it face to face?

ProfessorSlocombe · 19/01/2020 14:54

One of the excuses given by hospitals and doctors for having to use a "withheld" number, and refusing to leave any messages on voicemail is always "because we can't be sure who might receive it - we need to be sure we are speaking to the patient themselves".

Clearly it's a load of old bollocks as they appear quite happy to spaff SMS messages to a number without any idea who might read it.

Don't even try and pretend than saying "it's automatic" is a way of making any problems go away. British Gas tried that a while ago after a spectacular campaign of harassing a poor lady and were torn a new one by a court when they tried to blame "the system".