How to deal with the CF who has been eating my granola

[JoyceTempleSavage]

Have recently moved into a larger office with about 50 new colleagues.

I have a tub of granola which I filled up last week and it’s now nearly empty. I’ve had it on my yoghurt maybe four times and it’s kept in the cereal cupboard inbetween times in its own special tub.

WIBU to top it up with 90% granola 10% used cat litter and keep my own granola in my locker instead?

Add something with blue food colouring so the thief’s mouth will be bright blue all day.

I worked in a supermarket,and was on the late shift.I paid the canteen for my dinner.Put my name on it and somebody took it.

Turns out it was one of the managers.

His excuse,he didnt know it was mine,i said you didnt pay for it so it wasnt yours either.He payed for my replacement,

I have a little lunch bag I take in and out to work with me, I have some Tins of soup my locker and I’ve got a box of weetabix to take in too. I wouldn’t trust anyone at work to not touch it with their grubby hands. I also don’t use the fridge as people don’t take their stuff out it’s not eaten & it’s never cleaned except by a select few so it’s safer in my bag.

I wouldn’t lace it with anything, it is shitty but if you label it and mark do not eat then that should be enough although can’t believe the brass neck of anyone stealing someone’s food at work,

I used to put a post it note just inside saying something like: stop stealing my food you cunt or something similar.

Might shock them into stopping

Definitely your normal granola with quite a bit of salt and chilli pepper.

Mix it in really well so it's indistinguishable from normal.

Perhaps try a spoonful test in milk to check it doesn't turn the milk a warning pink. Because we wouldn't want that.

On reflection. Chilli flakes might be better and upgrade from quite a bit of salt to a fuckton.

That was it's still foodstuff and should you be questioned it's easy to claim that's how you like it.

I would use methylene blue en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylene_blue 😈.

Don't waste Royal canin, it's far to expensive!! But definitely do the rabbit muesli and some EX lax chocolate chips!

Crush up a shit tonne of laxatives into it.

Some bird seed would do the trick

Sadly, I was told some years ago that I wasn't allowed to poison anyone. Totally unreasonable. They had stolen my salad dressing and I had a dry salad!

I used to decant out of date mayo after that. Was fun.

Garlic granules will taste minging in granola.

My DS has a small plastic mouse that looks very realistic. I've often inadvertently jumped when hoovering his carpet, even though I know it's not real. Definitely put something like that inside the packet.
The piercing scream will quickly identify the thief.

Exlax chips to look like dark chocolate.

Add something with blue food colouring so the thief’s mouth will be bright blue all day.

That would get spotted but what about dental plague disclosing tablets? They are meant to be chewed so are safe if ingested, and crushed up in granola they would probably only show once in the mouth.

@whensa and the culprit will self Id with their smelly breath. Win win.

I'm still staggered at the notion that a colleague would risk taking your menopausal fan! Everyone in my office knows that I would become (justifiably) murderous if mine was touched!!!

I might add to the top layer of muesli some of those nice crunchy dried mealworms you can buy for feeding the birds. 😈

@eminencegrise

‘ Until she rubbed the rim with a Scotch bonnet chilli.’

Howled at this.
Not a sentence I thought I’d be reading today. Haha

I know it happens often, but I'm always shocked that someone could steal someone else's food.

Do they just not give a shit? I'd be mortified if I even ate something of someone's else's by accident.

When I was a newly qualified young (not very well paid) teacher inthe 80s I got my first job at the local school and I put my jar of Nescafe in my locker. The lockers were near the sink/kettle area in the staff room.

I noticed the coffee was going down but couldn't think that anyone would be taking it. I then watched one break as I came in the door an older colleague (probably in her 50s and fairly senior - and loads better paid than I was) open the door of my locker (which had my name on) and help herself all the while laughing and chatting to her neighbour! It was obviously something she did regularly. I couldn't believe it.

When I told another colleague she told me that she kept her main brand coffee in a cheaper coffee jar and nobody nicked it, so that's what I did thereafter. But what a mean trick! She was thousands a year better off than I was - and in teaching everyone knows the salary scales and everyone knew it was my first job.

It completely altered the way I viewed her after that and I had no respect for her at all, no matter how senior she was. Tight git.

I was once tempted to peel off the label of my milk and write breastmilk on it......I can understand milk thieves but eating someone's sandwich from home! How would you do it 1) it's wrong 2) how do you know their food hygiene is up to scratch?

I wouldn't go with cat litter, I would make chilli granola.

Cat-litter is the answer. Or plastic insects (not so effective, in my experience).

Some people have NO boundaries when it comes to using or eating other people's stuff e.g. what's yours is theirs. They'll take ANYTHING.

Make sure to update us with the outcome op 😁

Workplace CFs really do my nut! I vote for chilli flakes, mustard seeds & possibly laxatives! Plus a note inside the tub lid that says, "Buy your OWN fucking granola!"